A walk to remember 3
by HuggsKissesAndCheese
Summary: A tragic incident leaves a Devin Anoa i disquiet, snappy, foreboding and completely not like herself. With the help of her husband, best friends and her new therapist will she be able to move past the tragic event or will she end up spiraling out of control?
1. Chapter 1

Quick disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except my Oc`s and the plot.

"No, I just picked Jenn up and then will be heading to the airport." Devin said.

"Tell Uncle Joe I said hi!" Jennifer said.

"Jenn said hi."

"Tell her I said hi." Joe said

"Your uncle said hi."

"Well I`m driving so I`ll talk to you later." Devin says.

"Alright, well I`ll see you soon I love you." Joe says.

"Love you too!" Devin said.

"Alright bye."

"Bye." Devin said hanging up the phone.

"Where are we going Tee-Tee?"

"Well first we're going to the airport, but then we're going to check into our hotel then I`m going to work."

"Are we going to work with you?"

"Yes you are."

"I love going to work with you mommy!" Joelynn said.

Devin gives her a closed smile.

"What are we going to do when you're working?"

"Sometimes the other wrestlers bring their kids too and we play with them or we play with our ipad's until she's finished" JoJo said.

Devin`s no longer had her legends contract, a few months back she let it expire and signed as a writer which meant she got to spend a little more time with Joe and the storylines were better, she always did know what the fans wanted and how to entertain the crowed even if it wasn't her doing it.

.

.

"Alright guys this one is your room, I don't want you guys to ever open this front door if you guys want to come over to us use the joint door." Devin said opening the door that connected to theirs.

They all gave her a blank stare

"Okay?" Devin asked.

"Okay mommy!" Joelynn said.

"Can Jenn and I go swimming?" JoJo asked.

Ever since they first met when they were little Jenn and JoJo have been very close.

"Maybe later, we have to go now." Devin said.

.

.

"Hey babe, how was the flight over here?" Joe asked kissing her then bringing her in for a hug.

"It was fine."

"Daddy look who came to visit for two months!" JoJo said excitedly.

"I see, hi Jenn." Joe said leaning over and hugging his niece then hugging his kids.

"Hi uncle!"

"Well I have to go could you watch Joseph while I`m working?"

"Sure." Joe said grabbing his son.

"Thanks, see you later." Devin said kissing her husband.

"Eww!" The girls said in Unison.

"Come on girls." Devin said chuckling.

"Be good!" Joe said.

"We will!" The girls said in unison.

.

.

"I think that's a stupid Idea it sounds like something that would happen on Barney." Devin said.

"Well did you bring your ideas for the show?" Sara asked.

"I did." Devin said digging in her purse.

"Here it is!" Devin said sliding it to her.

"Oh this is great I love it!" Sara said skimming through the papers.

"So how is the babies?" Jenna asked.

"What?"

"Your kids, how are they?" Jenna asked.

"They're fine- I have to go I`m sorry." Devin said getting up in a hurry.

"You forgot your script!"

"Keep it!" Devin said walking out of the office.

As Devin walked out of the board room she looked around for her daughters and her niece they were nowhere in sight, starting to panic Devin quickly looks around for them like a mad woman.

"Mommy what's wrong?" Joelynn asked as her sister and her cousin walked up with their older cousin Josh.

"I told you not to move!"

"Mama are you okay?" JoJo asked.

"You weren't supposed to leave that spot, you had me worried!" Devin yelled in anger.

"Devin they're okay, they were with me." Josh said.

"That's not the point!" Devin yelled still freaking out.

"Dev- are you okay?"

"I`m fine, let's go!" Devin said to her kids and her niece.

They all just stared at her with blank faces.

"LET'S GO!" Devin yelled as they began to walk.

Devin only walked a few feet before she felt an anxiety attack coming on quickly walking over to a chair Devin sits down and puts her head between her legs trying to get her breathing back in order.

Noticing her aunt shaking Jenn asked. "Are you okay Tee-Tee?"

"I`m fine go back with Josh." Devin says pushing them away, she didn't want them to see her like that.

"Are you sure mama?" JoJo asked.

"I`m sure, now go!" Devin said.

Joelynn and Jennifer went back to their cousin Josh while JoJo went to look for her dad she knew Devin wasn't okay and she knew he could fix it, or so she thought.

Devin's breathing wasn't getting any better at this point she was having a full blown Anxiety attack.

"Devin what's wrong?" Joe said grabbing his shaking wife.

Devin didn't respond

Already knowing that she was having an anxiety attack Joe asked. "Do you want to go in my locker room?"

Devin nods her head.

"Come on." Joe said guiding her to his locker room.

.

.

"Sit down here." Joe says guiding her to sit down.

Devin lowers her head back between her legs.

Ever since the incident Devin has been having sever anxiety/ panic attacks Joe always felt guilty because there was nothing he could do about it, but the more she had them the more he learned how to be there for her when she has them.

"Don't forget to breathe." Joe instructed.

"I-can't- breathe!" Devin said hyperventilating.

"I know it's hard but you can do it." Joe says.

Devin gets worst.

"Breathe in- now out- In – now out."

Devin doing what she was told she slowly gets better.

With her head still between her legs Devin reaches for Joe's hand. Very surprised Joe grabs her hand, Devin usually didn't like being touched when she was having an anxiety attack because it usually made it worst, which was why he was surprised that she let him touch her not once but twice, but this time his touch didn't make it worst it made it better.

Slowly coming back to reality Devin lifts her head up and then leans on Joe for support. Joe wraps his arm around her and kisses the top of her head.

"Thanks for not leaving me." Devin said softly.

"Why would I leave you- you needed me."

Devin gives him a closed smile.

"How did you know something was wrong?" Devin asked.

"JoJo came and got me." Joe said.

"That kid- remind me to thank her."

Joe smiled.

"So what was it this time?"

"What?"

"What trigger you this time?" Joe asked.

"I couldn't find the kids."

"I`ll have a talk with them about wondering off." Joe says.

"You don't have to they were with Josh."

"Yeah but still, they know when you tell them not to do something they should listen."

Devin doesn't say anything she just closed her eyes as she laid in Joes arms.

"I think you should consider therapy." Joe said.

"For what?!" Devin says snapping as she pulls away from Joe.

"It was just a suggestion!" Joe says throwing up her hands.

"Well it was a dumb suggestion." Devin says storming out.

.

.

"Can we get in the pool when we get back to the hotel mama?" JoJo asked.

"No, it's too late." Devin says driving.

"Dad?" JoJo asked.

"Joelle don't do that, when your mom says no don't turn around and ask me." Joe says.

"But why mama." JoJo says turning back to her step mom.

"I already told you it's too late, and the pool is probably closed."

"No it's not its twenty-four hours." JoJo says.

"The answer is no."

JoJo folds her arms and pouts and whispers to her cousin. "I told you she'd say no to me."

"She'd say no to me too." Jenn says.

"No she won't."

"Tee-Tee can we go swimming its hot outside."

"Jennifer I already told JoJo no, don't ask again."

"But that's not fair!" Jennifer says.

"Life's not fair baby girl." Devin said.

"PLEEEEEAAASE mama!" JoJo begged.

"I SAID NO!" Devin said spazzing out.

Looking throw the rearview mirror she could tell that she scared them.

"I`m sorry." Devin said sighing as she stopped the car in the middle of the road and getting out.

"Where are you going?" Joe asked.

"For a walk!" Devin said storming off trying to cool off.

"Devin..." Joe said sighing and climbing to the Drivers side and pulling over.

"Mama doesn't love me anymore like my old mom." JoJo said crying.

"Oh baby that's not true, Devin does love you very much she's just upset right now."

"She's not going to leave like my old mommy did is she?" JoJo asked.

"She's not going anywhere, she's just needs some air.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, I`ll tell you what I`ll go get her, how does that sound?"

"Good!"

"Alright, I`m going to lock the door, don't open the door for anyone except me or Devin alright?" Joe said.

"Okay." They said in unison.

"Devin!" Joe yelled.

"Joe I'm fine!" Devin said walking.

"No you're not, you need help!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Devin said snapping back.

"Devin you've had over twenty anxiety/panic attacks this week you have spazzed out more times than I could count." Joe says.

"So you're saying those panic attacks were my fault?"

"No that is not what I was saying."

"Then what are you saying?"

"I`m saying, it's not normal and you need help!" Joe said.

"I don't need any help Joseph." Devin said.

"Devin you just spazzed out on your niece and your daughter for asking if they could go swimming."

"After I told them no they kept asking."

"Kids do that Devin I thought you knew that by now."

"I do."

"Then why are you acting like this?!"

"Because I`m hurting, I`m upset..." Devin said as a single tear dropped from her eye

"Devin you think you`re the only one hurting since that incident, you can't keep spazzing out like that!" Joe yelled.

.

.

"I want mommy!" Joelynn cried.

"It's okay daddy's out there getting her back, she won't leave like my other mom did." JoJo said so sure.

"Really?" Joelynn asked.

"Duh, daddy's super man he can do anything, why do you think he does the superman punch?"

"Does that mean mommy's super woman?" Joelynn asked.

"Of course it does."

"Then why did she get mad like that?" Joelynn asked.

"Even super woman has a breaking point, that's why she has superman to put her back together."

"Oh- then what happens when superman has a breaking point?" Joelynn asked.

"Then superwoman puts him back together- duh!" Jenn said.

"Oh, why didn't I think of that?" Joelynn asked.  
.

.

"You don't think I know I`ve been crazy lately, you don't think I`m trying to go back to normal, Joe it's hard especially when the only person you THOUGHT understood is in a different city every night."

"Devi, I know it's hard and I know you're trying but it's not working and it's just time that we stop trying to do it on our own."

"Leati I am not going to therapy!"

"I know you don't think you need it, but truth be told ya do, we both do, you just spazzed out on your daughter and you know what she said to me when you left?"

"What did she say?" Devin asked rolling her eyes.

"She said 'Mama doesn't love me anymore like my old mom' and I had to reassure her that you did love her that you were just upset right now."

Hearing that Devin's heart broke in even smaller pieces.

"And then she asked were you going to leave her like Galina did."

"Are you trying to make me feel bad?" Devin asked.

Shaking his head no Joe says. "I`m trying to make you realize that your actions doesn't affect only you anymore, did you see Jenn and JoJo`s face when you yelled.

"I don't want to go to therapy."

"Fine, don't go but I`m going to go with the kids until you figure out how you can control all of this." Joe said throwing his hands up and turning around.

"You're not taking them nowhere, those are MY kids and MY niece!" Devin said grabbing his hand and pulling him back.

"Correction those are OUR kids and OUR niece and right now I'm taking them out of what I feel like is in dangers way." Joe said snatching his hand out of hers.

"Joe don't go!" Devin said.

Joe turns around.

"I don't want to go to therapy because I don't want to talk about the incident." Devin said full on crying.

"You don't have to talk about anything you're not ready to talk about." Joe said hugging her.

Joe didn't really give up he just wanted her to know he was dead serious.

"You're going to be okay, we're going to be okay." Joe said as tears ran down his cheek as he hugged her tightly.

.

.

Later at the hotel room with the little kids...

"See I told you he would get Mama back." JoJo said.

.

.

"Should I go talk to them now?" Devin asked sitting on her bed putting her bun at the top of her head.

"Better now than later."

"Okay." Devin said taking a deep breath as she swings her legs over the bed.

"Dev?"

"Yeah." Devin said looking up.

"You got this!"

Devin gives him a closed smile.

"You should probably explain your anxiety to them too, when JoJo came and got me she was scared out her mind she thought you were going to die." Joe said.

"Alright." Devin says looking to the side.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Joe asked.

"No its better that I do this alone." Devin said walking through the joint doors.

.

.

"Hey guys can I talk to you?" Devin asked sitting down on Jenn and Joseph's bed.

"Are we in trouble?" JoJo asked.

Devin shook her head.

"Then what do you want to talk about." Jenn asked.

"Just go sit on the other bed and I`ll explain."

Jennifer quickly ran over to the other bed and plopped down.

Not really knowing where to start Devin takes a deep breath.

"Is this about what happened in the car?" JoJo asked.

"And at the arena." Devin said as all three girls stared at her with their eyes wide waiting.

"Well first let me start off with saying I am sorry for snapping at you I just haven't been in the best mood since the incident." Devin explained.

"What incident?" Jenn asked.

JoJo whispers in Jenn's ear.

"Ohh." Jenn says.

"Yeah- so I wasn't mad at you guys I was just angry in general and because I yelled at you that doesn't mean I love you any less I love all of you equally with all my heart and I hope you can forgive my outburst."

They all nod their heads.

"And about the arena…"

"Are you mad because I got daddy?" JoJo asked.

"No, you did the right thing." Devin assured.

"Why were you like that tee-tee?"

"It's called an anxiety attack I`ve had a lot since the incident and I will likely have more, you guys probably never noticed because I tried to hide it from you guys, I didn't want you guys to worry."

"What's ax-ax-axi…?" Joelynn stuttered.

"Anxiety." Devin said cutting her off.

"Yeah." Joelynn said.

"Do you remember the time you and your sister had to go to the dentist and you told me you guys were sick."

"Yeah." Both Joelynn and JoJo said in unison.

"And I told you that you weren't really sick that it was all in your head?"

"Yeah."

"Well it's kind of like that it's a disorder that's in your head and at that moment you think you can't breathe, your heart is beating super-fast and you start to shake." Devin explained.

"Are you going to be okay tee-tee?"

"I will be- eventually."

"I don't want you to feel bad!" Jenn said.

"I don't want to feel bad either but it's all going to be okay so none of you have to worry." Devin says.

"I love you tee-tee!" Jenn said jumping off the bed and rushing to her with a hug.

"Yeah we love you too!" JoJo said rushing for a hug as Joelynn followed.

"Be careful."

"Mommy?" Joelynn called.

"Yes baby."

"Are you really superwoman?"

"Who told you that?" Devin asked as JoJo turned her head.

"JoJo said you were super woman and daddy was super man."

Devin chuckled and said. "Yes baby I`m superwoman."

"COOOL!"

"Now it's time to go to sleep." Devin said pointing them back to bed.

"Can we sleep with you tonight mama?" JoJo asked.

"Sure, but just for tonight." Devin said guiding them back to her room.

"Whoa, looks like we have a full house tonight!" Joe said watching the kids run over to their room.

"We wanted to sleep with you tonight!" Jenn said flopping next to her uncle.

"Did you?" Joe said laughing.

"Yeah!"

"Well good thing we have a king size bed."

"Could you hold Joseph for me real quick?" Devin asked passing him his sleeping son.

"Sure, what are you doing?" Joe asked.

"I`m pulling out his play pin I don't want him falling off the bed." Devin said pulling his play pin out.

"Here I got it." Joe said getting up and placing his son inside.

"You shouldn't be straining yourself."

"Yeah i know." Devin says.

"I booked a ticket for us to go home tomorrow." Joe said laying him down.

"Why did you do that?"

"Wait us?"

"Yes us, you need to be at home and I asked for time off." Joe said.

"You can't do that- you have that really big match coming up soon."

"I can, and I did, there will be other matches I just need to be with you and our family at this time."

"For how long?" Devin asked.

"For a few months."

"A few months?!"

"Don't worry Shane and Linda are fully aware of our situation and they said I could have as much time off as we need and I will not lose my job and I will keep getting full pay as if I didn't leave." Joe explained.

"How nice of them remind me to thank them when I get the chance."

"Of course." Joe said kissing her.

"Eww!" The girls said in unison.

"Alright guys it's time for bed!" Devin said as they walked back to the bed and climbed in

A/n: If you haven't already read the first two stories you totally should! if you`ve already read the first two stories then welcome to the third story! be sure to let me know what you thought about this chapter and story so far in the reviews, and don't forget to fav or follow this! And if you haven't read the Keisha show yet the first chapter is now up you should totally do that if you are a fan of hers..


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: I feel like I probably should of said this first chapter but it sort of slipped my mind but this story as a whole will have a lot of flash backs from Devin`s past ie her childhood, teenage years etc. all of that would be written in italic...

"Hi I am Doctor Carmichael and I`ll be your therapist today."

"Since it is our first day I just want to brush the surfaces a little can you tell me what brought you here?"

Devin looks over at Joe for a response

"Well a couple months ago we had a very traumatic experience, um it was very traumatic for me but even more so for my wife and she's been having bad anxiety attack which she never had before and she started spazzing out a lot since then, as anyone would had this happened to them but it's not healthy and I just think she should really talk to someone other than me some one that could actually help her with this I mean if I could take her pain away I would but I can't no matter how hard I try." Joe explains.

"So the therapy is for your wife?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"A little for me too but mostly for her, I mean everyone could benefit from therapy right?" Joe asked.

"That is correct."

"Okay so what should I call you Mrs. Anoa`i?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"You can call me Devin."

"Devin do you think you need therapy?"

"No."

"Okay Devin, take me back to the day you too started dating."

"Well we were at Joe's old house and I had walked into the kitchen and asked him if we could talk, Joe was cooking us breakfast." Devin said.

"Who's us?" The therapist asked.

"My family and I."

"So you weren't the only one there?"

"Correct."

"Okay continue."

"We went into the back yard and immediately started to tell him I didn't want to move too fast and that I clearly liked him but I didn't want to move really fast and that it was probably my fault for going in his room and how I thought he thought I was a whore."

"What happened in that room?"

"Nothing, really just a lot of kissing, cuddling and slept in his bed."

"Joe how did you respond to her when she let that all out?"

"I jokingly told her that I did think she was a whore, then I told her I was joking then I told her I agree I didn't want to move too fast either." Joe explained.

"Okay, Devin continue."

"Then he said what he said and then he asked me if he were to ask me out would I say yes and I said yes or I would something like that and then he was like would you and I was like would I what and he said go out with me and I joked around a bit then I said I would."

"So you slept in his bed before you guys were dating?" The therapist asked.

"Yes."

"And why did you feel it was okay for you to sleep in his bed?"

"Well I always laid in his bed I mean even as friends I would go in his hotel room when we hung out and we`d both lay in his bed so when everything had happened it only felt natural and because he asked me too." Devin explained.

"Can you take me back to that day?"

"Sure." Devin said.

 _"_ _You could stay here if you want, I mean you and your cousins and sister, JoJo`s with her mom this weekend and my house is huge, you don't have to pay for a hotel." Joe says._

 _"_ _Okay, how are you doing since your divorce?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Better than I expected." Joe said as they both sat in his car in his drive way._

 _"_ _It was nice of you to come home with me, you're a really good friend."_

 _"_ _Yeah, I wouldn't want you to be scared all by yourself in this big house." Devin says._

 _"_ _I`m not scared, I`m just not use to being here alone." Joe says._

 _"_ _Right- what is your address, my famila wants to know."_

 _"_ _007 James Bonds way." Joe said._

 _"_ _Seriously?"_

 _"_ _Dead serious."_

 _"_ _Okay."_

 _"_ _So why are we sitting outside?" Devin asked looking up._

 _"_ _I left key's in the house and the doors are locked."_

 _"_ _That's a great place to keep it." Devin says sarcastically._

 _"_ _Yeah because I left it on purpose." Joe says sarcastically._

 _"_ _Wait I could lift you to my window."_

 _"_ _Seriously?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Yeah."_

 _"_ _But I have dress on." Devin said._

 _"_ _Do you want to sit out here all day?" Joe asked._

 _"_ _It's never too late for me to book a hotel."_

 _"_ _Good luck walking because I'm not taking you." Joe says._

 _"_ _So you're kidnapping me now?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Mmmhmm." Joe says jokingly_

 _"_ _Fine, which way is your room?" Devin asked climbing out his Suv._

 _Joe points directly in front of him as he too got out the car._

 _"_ _Give me your foot." Joe orders._

 _"_ _Don't drop me." Devin says climbing in his hands._

 _"_ _I wouldn't dream of dropping you princess." Joe says._

 _"_ _What?" Devin asked looking down._

 _"_ _Nothing." Joe says._

 _"_ _Can you lift me any higher?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _What- whoa!" Joe says looking up then down quickly._

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _You might want to wear underwear next time you have someone lift you through their window." Joe says trying not to look up._

 _"_ _Yeah because I knew you were going to be lifting me through a window when I got dressed this morning." Devin said sarcastically._

 _"_ _Joe put me down and don't hurt me!" Devin yells because she could totally see Joe just letting go of her because he thought it was funny._

 _"_ _Anything you want Baby girl." Joe Says as he slowly lowers her down and flips her around to where they were now facing each other. With her heart racing Devin looks up and stares straight into Joe's Gray eyes biting her lip, as Joe looked down at her beautiful brown eyes, Not saying a word Joe take his hand and lifts her head up and takes her lip from between her teeth and smiles and with his deep Tenor voice he says._

 _"_ _That's better."_

 _Devin's legs begins to get weak as Joe pulls her curvy body and presses it against his with one hand on her lower back and his other on her cheek, Joe leans in and kisses her and in between kisses he whispers in her ear "I would never hurt you." And goes back to passionately kissing her, when Devin pulls back and looks up back at him._

 _"_ _What's wrong?" Joe asked rubbing the back of his hand against her soft cheek._

 _With a flirty smile Devin pulls him back in, this time her being in control._

 _"_ _You're such a flirt." Joe said in between kisses. When out of know were lights shine from behind them Growling Joe turns around and looks back, it was Devin's Family._

 _"_ _We never did open your window." Devin says softly._

 _"_ _Oh, I forgot I keep an extra key under the mat." Joe says pointing to the Mat._

 _Devin walks over to the mat and lifted the mat and grabbed the key and opens the door to the house. Joe quickly comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist._

 _"_ _You don't know how long I've wanted to do this." Joe whispers in her ear._

 _"_ _No, but you could tell me." Devin says._

 _"_ _Excuse me." Crystal says pushing pass Joe not really paying attention to them all she noticed was that he was in her way._

 _"_ _So where are we staying?" Kim asked noticing them but not saying anything._

 _"_ _If you go upstairs and go to the left there should be guest rooms, you are all welcome to stay in." Joe says letting Devin go._

 _"_ _But not the first room on the left that's my daughter's room." Joe says._

 _"_ _Thanks again for letting us stay here you didn't have too." Kendall says as they all walked up the stairs._

 _"_ _And you could go to the room to your right." Joe whispers into Devin's ear._

 _"_ _And what if I don't want to go in your room?" Devin asked walking way._

 _"_ _That wasn't a suggestion it was an order." Joe Growled._

 _"_ _You see I`ve never really been good with being ordered around." Devin said looking back at Joe as she walked up the stairs pulling her bag up behind her._

"And then Joe walked somewhere else before he came into his room." Devin says

 _"_ _Hey there baby girl." Joe says as he walks inside his room._

 _"_ _Hi." Devin says flirtatiously as she looks up from her bag._

 _"_ _Crap." Devin mumbles to herself._

 _"_ _What is it babe?"_

 _"_ _I forgot to pack my pajamas when I went home." Devin said biting her lip._

 _Joe just stared at her beautiful bare face as she bit her lip which Joe secretly loved._

 _"_ _I guess I could ask Kim to borrow hers." Devin says walking pass Joe who grabs her arm._

 _"_ _Nonsense you can borrow one of my shirts." Joe says softly as he grabs one of his shirts out his dresser._

 _"_ _Okay." Devin says kissing him._

"And then I got into the shower."

 _Stepping in the warm shower Devin quickly thought about that kissed they shared, and how great it felt to have his lips up against hers something she dreamed about for a while now, shaking her head from the thought, she talked herself into believing it wasn't real what she felt about him he couldn't possibly feel about her. Shaking her head again she thought there was no way he would hold her the way he did or kiss her like that if he didn't feel what she felt. Suddenly she is brought out of her thought by something falling off the shelf, rinsing off she climbs out and dries herself off and then wrapped herself in the towel and walked out to the room._

 _Walking to Joe`s dresser Devin picks up a picture off of it, it was of him and a small JoJo, smiling she puts it down and opens his drawer and looks through it, she knew it was an invasion of his privacy but she didn't really care after looking in it for a while she closes it and walks back over to the other side of the bed. Removing the towel and pulled her bra over her head and then grabbed her shirt._

 _As Joe walked in he watched as Devin had her back towards him as she sat on his bed and pulls his shirt over her head as her curls stuck to her face._

 _"_ _Oh Joe I didn't see you come in." Devin says turning around._

 _"_ _Yeah I just got here."_

 _"_ _Come lay down." Devin says throwing her legs on the bed as she pulls back the cover and pat's the spot next to her._

 _She didn't have to ask him twice Joe quickly walks over to the bed and Devin lays her head on his chest. Joe kisses her forehead doing that; Devin looks up gives him a peck on the lips which leads to a full on make out session; Joe pulls her on top of him with one of Devin's hands on his chest and the other laced with his while his free hand rested on her hip. Finally stopping they go back to cuddling. But the longer they laid their and cuddled the more turned on he got. Afraid of moving too fast Joe shoots up_

 _"_ _What's wrong?" Devin says frowning as she looked over at him._

 _"_ _Don't frown, you'll mess up your pretty face, I just forgot to lock the front door."_

 _"_ _Do you want me to come with you?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _No just stay here."_

 _"_ _Okay." Devin says softly as she readjust herself._

"You remembered that like it was yesterday and not like it was over six years ago." The therapist said.

"I do."

"Why is that?"

"It was the first time we were being honest with each other."

"Honest, with each other what does that mean?"

"For the longest time I showed him in nonverbal ways that I liked him and he showed me nonverbal ways that he liked me but neither of us actually did anything about it, we continued to act like we were just friends that only had friend feelings for each other and at that moment without actually saying it he was like let's stop pretending that we don't like each other I know that I like you and I also know that you like me so why are we pretending- or at least that's what that moment felt like to me."

"You said he showed you in nonverbal ways he liked you."

"Yes."

"How so?"

"Well he would always go out his way for me and my safety like there was this specific time my energy drink was spiked and he went out his way to make sure I was safe or when he thought I was upset with him he cared a little too much or the time when my sister and cousins left me at the arena and he kept asking if I needed a ride and I said no then he offered to wait with me and I said no about that and then hours after he left had called a cousin of mines and asked if they had picked me up and they said no so he drove back for me, he didn't have to do that he had a long drive to the next city he could of left it at okay she didn't need a ride and left the city like other friends did but he didn't he came back for me, and then it was the slick things he would say you're beautiful or that face you made was cute or the way he would touch me." Devin explained.

"The way he'd touch you, explain that."

"Well going back to the time I was left at the arena when he finally came back the way he hugged me wasn't the way you would hug a friend or how he use to hug me and I was like oh my gosh you're so warm he gave his jacket and when I was thanking him he pushed back my hair that had fallen in my face, the way he did it was very gentle and the way he looked at me was like gosh you're beautiful and as he drove I thanked him again for coming back and he took one of his hands off the wheel and rubbed my hand and again it was the way he did it, then there was this time I accidently fell asleep in his room like overnight and my hair was messed up and he fixed it again it was the way he fixed it, and the way he held me I remember two different times I feel asleep in his room and in my sleep I would move closer to him and when I woke up he would have his arms wrapped around me and there was this other time- on the fourth of July when I had gotten scared from the fireworks, because loud noises scares me I jumped and without any hesitation he wrapped his arms around me, oh and there was this other time we were dancing together- the way our bodies touched and swayed it was past we're best friends and we're just comfortable with each other, I think our bodies knew before our heads did."

"And how did you feel when he held you?"

"Safe." Devin said.

"Joe, Devin mention your divorce does this mean you had feelings for her while you were still married?"

"Yes and no." Joe said.

"Explain."

"When I was with Galina I did love her as in Galina and I wanted things to work, I wasn't looking at anyone else Devin and I were just friends until this certain point when I started looking at Devin in a different way so I distant myself from her because I was married and I did love my wife but then Galina reveled that she was cheating on me with her coworker and that she wanted a divorce after that moment I was like since we're obviously seeing other people it's okay that I like her now because we were getting a divorce and that's when I started flirting with her and touching her differently but I still felt bad even when we were separated and free to see who ever we wanted I just couldn't do that until we were officially divorced."

"I see could you take me back to the moment you were trying to distant yourself from her?"

"Sure." Joe said.

 _"_ _Hey Joe!" Devin yelled running over to him and hugging him._

 _"_ _Hey Dev." Joe said patting her back with one hand awkwardly._

 _"_ _Do you think you could help me with some new moves?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _When?"_

 _"_ _Now would be great."_

 _"_ _Ahh, I can't I have this thing."_

 _"_ _What thing?" Devin asked laughing._

 _"_ _Just this thing."_

 _"_ _What about after you're done with the 'thing'?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Devin I don't think that's such a good idea." Joe said sighing._

 _"_ _That's okay, I guess I could ask someone else."_

 _"_ _Well see you around." Devin said backing away._

 _Joe's watches Devin walk away as he stuck his hand in his pocket to grab his ringing phone._

 _"_ _Hello?" Joe said taking his eyes off of Devin._

 _"_ _Hi Joe, what are you doing?"_

 _"_ _Nothing, why what's up."_

 _"_ _Did you see Devin today?" Galina asked in suspicion._

 _"_ _I did."_

 _"_ _What did she want?"_

 _"_ _She wanted me to help her with some moves."_

 _"_ _Some moves huh?"_

 _"_ _Yeah some wrestling moves, don't worry I told her I couldn't." Joe said._

 _"_ _Good, I want you to stay away from that home wrecker you hear me?" Galina said._

 _"_ _Don't call her that."_

 _"_ _Oh now you're defending her?"_

 _"_ _I`m not defending her, I`m just saying she has never made a pass on me not even once so there's no need to call her that."_

 _"_ _Who are you talking to?" A male voice from Galina's side asked._

 _"_ _I have to go talk to you later!" Galina says hurrying up and hanging the phone up._

"Did you stay away from her?" The therapist asked.

"I did for three weeks."

"When did you find out your ex-wife was cheating on you?"

"At the beginning of the third week."

"Take me back to that time."

 _"_ _Galina who is Thomas?"_

 _"_ _I don't know what you're talking about."_

 _Joe paced back in forth in anger._

 _"_ _I`m going to ask you this one more time and this time I want the DAMN TRUTH!"_

 _"_ _Who is Thomas- Galina?!" Joe yelled in anger._

 _"_ _I- don't- know -what –your- talking about Joe!"_

 _In anger Joe runs his fingers through his long jet black hair and yelled. "DON'T F**KING LIE TO ME GALINA!"_

 _"_ _Daddy what's going on?"_

 _"_ _It's okay baby daddy's just a little upset that's all." Galina says._

 _Narrowing his eyes at his wife Joe then turns his attention to his daughter and says. "I`m fine just go back to your room okay baby?"_

 _"_ _Okay." JoJo says walking out of the room closing the door behind her._

 _Joe watched his daughter walk out of the room, and as soon as she did he turned his attention back to Galina._

 _"_ _Don't you ever bring her into one of our arguments EVER again!"_

 _Galina stares blankly at him_

 _"_ _DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!"_

 _"_ _Yes."_

 _"_ _Who is Thomas Galina?" Joe asked once again._

 _"_ _I have never heard that name in my life!" Galina yelled._

 _"_ _You have one more time to lie to me Galina!" Joe said pointing his finger in her face in anger._

 _"_ _He's a coworker."_

 _"_ _Are you sleeping with him?"_

 _Galina turns her head._

 _"_ _DAMN IT, ANSWER ME!"_

 _Galina remains quiet._

 _Taking a deep breath Joe says. "Your phone rung back to back so I figured it was probably someone from the office and It was important- it was Thomas, he thought I was you he called me babe then he went on to say how much he loved you and how much he needed to be with you again and when I said 'this isn't Galina this is her husband' he hung up like a coward."_

 _Galina looked at Joe in shock._

 _"_ _You didn't know I knew did you?"_

 _"_ _What were you doing answering my phone, I don't answer your phone!"_

 _"_ _Galina go to hell!"_

 _"_ _Joe I want a Divorce!" Galina yells._

 _"_ _And you'll get one." Joe said grabbing a pillow and the throw off the bottom of the bed._

 _"_ _Because believe me I don't want to be with you more than you want to be with me." Joe says walking to the room door._

 _Galina rolled her eyes._

 _"_ _And all this time you were buggin about me being friends with Devin you were out cheating." Joe said shaking his head and slamming the door._

"Did that moment affect the way you trusted Devin?"

"Not even a little, I trusted Devin with everything and nothing Galina could have ever done could have ever changed that if anything Devin had more of my trust then anyone on this planet."

"I see- do you still love her?"

"I`m not in love with her, I have love for her because she is the mother of my child even though she's choosing not to be in her life right now."

"I see-well that is all the time we have today we will pick up tomorrow?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Yeah, sure." Devin said.

"Have a good night."

"You too." Devin said as she gets up and Joe shakes Dr. Carmichael's hand.

"See she didn't even ask about the incident." Joe said holding his wife's hand as they walked out.

Devin gives him a closed smile.

"So do you think you're going to want to come back tomorrow?" Joe asked holding his wife's hand.

"Yeah, I think so."

"I`m still going to talk to the girls about wondering off like that especially JoJo she knew better."

"No Joe you don't have to do that it's fine." Devin said.

"I know I don't HAVE to do it but I`m going to do it."

Devin knew once Joe had his mind fixed on doing something he would do it, and there was no talking him out of doing it.

 _"_ _Is that right?" Devin asked as she played footsies with Joe under the table._

 _"_ _Yeah, could you come?" A young JoJo asked._

 _"_ _Well you`ll have to ask your parents."_

 _"_ _Can she come dad can she?" JoJo asked looking up._

 _"_ _Will see honey."_

 _"_ _And maybe you can bring Jenn!"_

 _"_ _That would be fun wouldn't it?" Devin asked._

 _Nodding her head fast JoJo says._

 _"_ _Yeah!"_

 _"_ _Then I'll bring her and maybe you guys could have a sleep over."_

 _"_ _Can we have a sleep over daddy, can we?"_

 _"_ _Sure pumpkin."_

 _"_ _It`s getting late I should be going, I have to do some stuff before I head to the arena." Devin says turning to look at Joe who was sitting in front of her._

 _"_ _Yeah, I understand." Joe replies._

 _"_ _Well it was nice having lunch with you JoJo."_

 _"_ _It was nice having lunch with you too!" JoJo replies._

 _"_ _Maybe we could do this another time, and we could leave your dad."_

 _"_ _Yeah and maybe mommy could come."_

 _Devin smiles at her and says._

 _"_ _Maybe."_

 _"_ _Well I really have to go, bye Joe." Devin says scooting back from her chair._

 _"_ _We should be going too, we`ll walk with you." Joe say_

 _"_ _Okay."_

 _Joe, Devin and JoJo gets up and makes their way out to the parking lot._

 _"_ _Which way did you park, I want to walk you back to the car." Joe says._

 _"_ _I just parked over there." Devin said pointing straight ahead behind a few cars._

 _"_ _Sweet, so did we." Joe says as they walked in the direction of their car._

 _First stopping at his car Joe opens the back door for his daughter and puts her in her car seat._

 _"_ _I`m going to go walk Devin to her car, I'll be right back." Joe explains._

 _"_ _Okay daddy."_

 _"_ _Don't open the door for anyone okay pumpkin?"_

 _"_ _Okay."_

 _Joe locks and closes the door and then made his way to Devin who was waiting by the trunk._

 _Grabbing his hand and locking fingers Devin asked._

 _"_ _So do you think she likes me?" and begins to walk._

 _Joe laughs and says. "You act like this was the first time she`s met you."_

 _"_ _I know but this is the first time as your girlfriend." Devin says as they reach her car._

 _"_ _Do you think she likes me?" Devin repeated._

 _"_ _It`s hard to tell."_

 _Devin takes a deep breath._

 _"_ _But I`m sure she does."_

 _"_ _Hopefully."_

 _"_ _Don't worry about it."_

 _"_ _It`s kind of hard not to, especially since in order for us to continue she has to like me."_

 _"_ _I mean, what happens if she doesn't?"_

 _"_ _We go back to being JUST friends like nothing ever happened, we go back to pretending our feelings aren't deeper - I don't think I can do that." Devin rambles._

 _Joe doesn't say a word he just listens to her ramble and then cuts her off with him crashing his lips against hers._

 _"_ _You drive safe you hear?" Joe asked._

 _"_ _Okay." Devin says pecking his lips once more before climbing in her car and eventually driving away._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _You took forever." JoJo says._

 _"_ _Sorry pumpkin." Joe says buckling his seat belt._

 _"_ _You all buckled up?"_

 _"_ _Yeah."_

 _Joe looks back and then says._

 _"_ _Good." And then drives off._

 _"_ _So how do you feel about Devin?" Joe asked breaking the silence._

 _"_ _Do you like her daddy?" JoJo asked._

 _"_ _I do, very much."_

 _"_ _Is she your girlfriend?"_

 _"_ _I will like her to be." Joe says even though they were already dating._

 _"_ _Then I like her too."_

 _"_ _Are you sure, you can be honest with me, if you don`t like her you could say so."_

 _"_ _I do like her daddy."_

 _"_ _Good."_

 _"_ _You have my blessings to date her."_

 _Joe starts laughing._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _Well she hates you." Joe says as he held the phone on his ear._

 _"_ _She does?!"_

 _Joe laughs and says. "Nah, I`m only joking."_

 _"_ _She loves you, she even said she gives me the blessing to date you, even though we`re already dating."_

 _"_ _Joe, why`d you do that, I`ve been so nervous since I left you guys, I`ve literally been on the toilet crapping I was so nervous."_

 _"_ _How attractive."_

 _Devin laughs._

 _"_ _How will Galina feel knowing I`m going to be around her a lot?" Devin asked._

 _Joe shrugs as if she could see him and say. "I don`t know but I`m sure she`ll let me know."_

 _"_ _Well I don't want to complicate your life."_

 _"_ _You make my life a little less complicated, besides if she does get mad oh well she`ll have to get over it, I`m her dad and you`re my girlfriend so you`re going to be around her."_

 _"_ _At least I`m not bringing random chicks that I`m just sleeping with around her, we`re actually in a relationship." Joe continues._

 _"_ _That`s true, well I`ll see you later I guess."_

 _"_ _Bye doll face."_

 _"_ _Bye, I hate you." Devin joked._

 _"_ _I hate you too." Joe says laughing._

"Back so soon?" Rocky asked looking up from her magazine.

"Yeah, I hope they didn't give you a hard time." Devin said.

"Not at all, they were perfect."

"What time did Joseph go to sleep?" Devin asked.

"Not too long ago."

"Are the girls asleep?" Joe asked.

"No, they're laying down watching a movie." Rocky said.

"Alright, I need to go talk to them I`ll see you another time." Joe said walking out of the room.

"So when do you go back on the road?" Devin asked.

"In a couple of days." Rocky said.

Like Devin Rocky let her legends contract wear out, she still works with the company but as a traveling talent trainer with Rachel who also let her legends contact run out.

"Is this your off week?" Rocky asked.

Devin also was on the road again but only two weeks a month as a writer her kids usually went with her being that they were being home schooled for the time being.

"No, I had another anxiety attack and Joe asked if we could both have time off to heal from the incident."

"Oh I`m sorry babe." Rocky said trying to use her words wisely because she knew how easily triggered she was ever since that incident.

"Yeah me too, sometimes I just wish this was just one big bad dream that I could wake up from."

"You know we're here for you Johnathon and I."

"Thanks but I don't really care to talk about this with Johnathon."

"Well Rachel and I."

"That sounds a little better." Devin said giving her a closed smile.

.

.

"I know your mom and tee-tee already talked to you about her anxiety and stuff…."

"Did she have another anxiety attack?" JoJo asked.

"No, she's fine that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"So what do you want to talk about?" Jenn asked.

"I`m going to need you guys to be on your best behavior for your mom and tee-tee..."

"We're always on our best behaviors." Joelynn said innocently.

Joe sort of chuckles and gives them a closed smile and says.

"Well on you're really, really best behavior when she ask you to do something or not do something I need you guys to listen- okay."

"Okay." They said in unison.

"I`m serious last time you guys wondered off it triggered her anxiety and we don't want her to have another anxiety attack do we?" Joe asked.

"No." JoJo and Joelynn said in unity

"Jenn." Joe said.

"We made her have her anxiety attack, we made her sick?" Jenn asked with the saddest look on her face.

"No, that's not what I meant, anything could trigger her anxiety but right now one of the things that triggers it is when you guys run off and she doesn't know where you guys are." Joe explained.

"Are you sure it wasn't our fault?" Jenn asked.

"I`m positive Jenn, now give uncle a hug!" Joe said opening his arms as she ran into his arms.

"So best behavior okay?" Joe said letting go of his niece.

"Okay!" They all said in unison.

"Daddy are you going to leave to work again?" JoJo asked.

"No, baby I'm going to stay right here until mommy gets better."

"YAY!" Joelynn cheered

"Can you tuck us in?" Jenn asked.

Since Jenn's dad wasn't in her life she sort of looked at Joe like a father figure, even though he was her uncle.

"Sure." Joe said walking over to each bed and tucking them in.

Joe tucked them in and then made his way down the hall way and down stairs to the living room.

"Hey where's Dev?" Joe asked as Rocky was leaving.

"Oh she went to bed."

Joe took a deep breath and said. "Thank you for being here for her."

"She's one of my best friend why wouldn't I be?" Rocky asked.

"I know, but there's family members who haven't even tried reaching out to her since the incident, it's like they don't even care, and these are people who were once so close to her."

"Mmm, well I`m here when ever." Rocky said.

"Thank you, I know that she really appreciates that." Joe said.

"It's really no problem, but I have to go, tell Dev to call me whenever she needs to talk and you do the same!" Rocky said hugging him.

"Thanks."

Joe locks the door behind her and then makes his way down the hall and up the stairs but as he walked past his childrens room he peaked in to see them all sound asleep and then he walked in his room, Devin was already in bed with her back towards the door.

"Devin are you awake?" Joe asked walking towards the bed.

Climbing into the bed Joe pushes back Devin's hair and kisses her shoulder and says. "The kids are sleep."

Devin doesn't respond.

 _"_ _She must be sleep."_ Joe thought to himself as he turned around and went to sleep.

Devin laid there staring at the wall as she held her pillow between her legs and arms tightly.

A/N: Thank you for reading this chapter be sure to review telling me what you think! And thank you to everyone who faved and or followed and reviewed so far


	3. Chapter 3

Next day

Standing in the kitchen Devin is cutting up carrots for her stew occasionally looking up at her oldest and her niece playing as Joe sat at the table on his laptop.

"You`re my favorite cousin!" Jenn says.

"You`re my favorite cousin too!" JoJo says.

"No matter what, whenever you need me I`ll be there."

"Just like the Jackson five song."

Joe looks up and smiles and then goes back to what he`s doing.

"Forever?" JoJo asked.

"Forever!"

Sighing Devin slams the knife down and covers her face with her hand.

 _"_ _You`re my favorite cousin!" Bree says._

 _"_ _You`re my favorite cousin too!" Devin says._

 _"_ _Devin you know I`ll be here for you no matter what."_

 _"_ _Yeah right."_

 _"_ _No really just like the Jackson five song…"_

 _"_ _Just call my name and I`ll be there." Bree says._

 _Devin laughs._

 _"_ _For real, no matter how far apart we are no matter how late in the night it is I will always be here for you…"_

 _"_ _No matter what you go through you`re my favorite cousin and I love you." Bree continues._

 _"_ _Really?"_

 _"_ _Uh duh."_

 _"_ _So what if I move to La and I become a stripper to pay for rent but then it's still not enough so I get kicked out of my apartment and I spiral into a deep depression, and you`re all the way in Fresno… then what?"_

 _"_ _I`ll still be there."_

 _"_ _What if I moved to Montana?"_

 _"_ _I`ll still be there."_

 _"_ _What if I move all the way to New York and you're all the way in Fresno California?"_

 _"_ _I will still be there, no matter how far, what you`re going through I will always be there when you need me, I promise." Bree says._

 _"_ _Forever?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Forever!"_

"Devin are you okay dear?" Joe asked with his hand on her lower back.

"I`m fine- don`t touch me." Devin says pushing his hand away from her and then walking away.

JoJo and Jenn exchanged a look then looked at Joe who just shrugged.

.

.

Sitting down on the couch Devin is looking at an old photo album filled with pictures of her and her cousins and siblings stopping at a picture of her and Bree Devin lets a single tear drop.

"Devin?" Joe called.

Looking up with the tear still streaming down her face Devin looks up.

"Dev what`s wrong?" Joe says walking over to her.

"Devin what`s wrong?" Joe asked again.

Devin looks back down at the album and took it off her lap and placed it next to her and said.

"When we were little Bree always promised she`d be there for me when I needed her…"

"No matter how far apart we were if I needed her she`d be here for me no matter how late it was." Devin continued.

"I know it`s stupid to hold her to a promise that she made when we were kids but…."

"I need her."

Grabbing the photo album Joe tosses it causing Devin to shoot him a crazy look.

"F**k them!" Joe yells.

"What?"

"F**k Bree, f**k Keisha, f**k Kendall and f**k Samantha and f**k Crystal and the rest of your cousins!"

"Joe..."

"I don't give a f**k!"

"They know how to call you when they need something, when they need money, but suddenly she forgets to call when her supposably favorite cousin needs help."

"Joe you`re not understanding…"

"No I understand perfectly, you go all out your way bending over backward to help your family but when you need them they`re nowhere to be found, f**k them…"

"They`re not your family…"

"I `m your family, your kids your kids are your family now not them and I know that sounds weird in possessive that`s not what I meant, they will always be your family but they`re not your family we are." Joe continues.

Devin whips her tear and says. " Joe you don't understand knowing how close you are and were to Josh and Jon growing up, if they all of a sudden stop talking to you especially now how would that make you feel."

"I get it, I 100% get it but there is no use to stressing and getting anxious because Bree and the rest of them are a** holes who are only good at using you, it's not worth it."

"Maybe it`s something I did."

"No it`s not, you did nothing wrong!" Joe says.

"It`s them."

 _"_ _If my mom knew I enjoyed coming to Fresno every summer then she would probably stop sending me, she says it`s a break for her but it`s really a break for me." Devin says._

 _"_ _I know, why does she hate you so much?" Bree asked._

 _Devin shrugs._

 _"_ _Hey do you want to go to the store with me real quick?"_

 _"_ _Sure, for what?"_

 _"_ _To get something for my daa- never mind." Bree says seeing Devin`s face change._

 _"_ _No it`s okay just because my dad up and left me and my siblings doesn't mean you have to tip toe around the word dad, if you want to get your dad a gift we can do that."_

 _"_ _Are you sure?"_

 _"_ _Positive."_

 _"_ _Uncle really hurt you when he left didn't he?"_

 _Devin nods her head._

"Devin I`m sorry about yelling earlier…."

Joe chuckles and says. "And throwing your photo album."

"Devin?"

"I heard you…"

"It`s fine I guess."

Sitting next to her on the bed Joe put`s his hand on the middle of her back and asked.

"Are you okay?"

"I`m fine…"

Pushing his hand off of her Devin says. "And stop touching me."

"Well I`m going to get in the shower." Joe says slapping his leg and walking off.

Watching her husband walk into the bathroom Devin picks up her phone and calls Bree but like it usually did when she called lately it rung a few times then suddenly stopped and went to voice mail.

"Hi Bree this is Devin, I know I`ve called a million times I don't know if you got any of my other voice mails, but I just really need to talk to you…"

Devin chuckles and says. "Do you remember when we were kids and you told me no matter how far I was or how late it was if I needed you, you would be there…"

"Well Bree I need…." Devin began to say.

 _"_ _To send the message with urgency press nine to send it as normal press seven."_

 _"_ _Thank you and good bye."_

Devin sighs and lays back on her bed.

A/n: I hope you enjoyed this chapter be sure to leave a review telling me what you thought!


	4. Chapter 4

Next day

"Thank you for watching them this morning for us." Devin said to her other best friend.

"It`s no problem, really." Rachel said.

"You guys be on your best behavior for Rachel okay?" Devin said turning to her kids and niece.

"We will!" The girls said in unison.

"And Joseph is still sleep but he'll probably be wake by eleven." Devin said putting her hand on her lower back.

"Alright." Rachel said.

"Call me if you have any problems." Devin says as Joe shakes his head no and mouths 'call me.'

Rachel nods her head at Joe and then says okay to Devin.

Grabbing her back Devin says. "Oh my gosh my back is killing me."

"Are you okay?" Joe asked.

"No, yeah I'm fine."

"Alright, well let's go!" Joe said smacking her butt.

"Gosh Joe can you not?" Devin asked just before she turns to walk away.

Devin never mind when he touched her butt before, in fact she liked it but it was one of those things that changed ever since that incident, it was like he had to learn her all over again, the things she used to love she now hated things she hated now didn't seem so bad.

"Alright!" Joe said throwing his hands up.

.

.

"Mr. and Mrs. Anoa`i." Dr. Carmichael says.

"I told you to call me Devin." Devin said walking past her and into the office.

Dr. Carmichael looks at Joe and Joe shrugs.

"So Devin how was your morning?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Eh it's been alright so far."

"What made it alright and not good?"

Devin doesn't say anything she just stares at her.

"Never mind sorry I asked- if you don't mind I'd like to start the session."

"Okay." Devin said.

"Joe when you think of your childhood what's the first thing that comes to mind?"

"I think of sports, I was always in a sport as a child."

Devin rolls her eyes.

"What about you Devin, when you think of your childhood what is the first thing that comes to mind?"

"I think of my dad leaving." Devin says looking down.

"Can you share that with me- us?"

"Sure."

 _"_ _If you're so unhappy then why don't you leave?!" Devin's mom yelled._

 _Just then Devin's door fly's open and Devin walks over and peaks out her door and she watches her dad storm out of house for the last time._

 _"_ _Devin what are you doing?" Richard Devin's oldest brother asked._

 _"_ _Nothing." Devin said standing up._

 _"_ _You should really be getting back to bed, don't want to make mama mad do you?"_

 _Devin shakes her head no really fast._

 _"_ _Then you best get back to bed." Richard said._

 _"_ _Good night." Devin said walking back to her bed._

 _"_ _Rebecca, Rebecca!" Devin said kicking the top of her bed, they had bunk beds._

 _Rebecca doesn't reply_

 _"_ _Diamond." Devin called._

 _"_ _What do you want?" Diamond said rolling over in her single bed across from her sisters._

 _"_ _Daddy left."_

 _"_ _Where did he go?" Diamond asked._

 _"_ _I don't know, I don't think he's coming back." Devin said crying._

 _"_ _Who cares he was never fair anyways."_

"Did you ever see him again?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Devin shakes her head.

"What did your sister mean he was never fair anyways?"

"My dad was always nicer to me then he was to my other siblings." Devin said.

"Why was that?"

"It's because my mom was the meanest to me so he went out his way to be nicer to me."

"Why was that?"

"Why was what?" Devin asked.

"Why was you mom meaner to you?"

Devin shrugs and says. "Still to this day she treats them better than me or at least she would if I spoke to her."

"Can you take me back to a time where she was nicer to them then to you?"

Devin takes a deep breath and says. "Okay."

 _"_ _Mom could we go to Six flags this weekend?" Jessica Devin's oldest sister asked._

 _"_ _Depends who's we?"_

 _"_ _Richard, David, Diamond, Rebecca and I."_

 _"_ _Sure."_

 _"_ _What about me can I go?" Devin asked looking up from the ground._

 _Devin`s mom had her scrubbing the ground on her hands and knees with her own tooth brush and her face towel._

 _"_ _No!" Her mom yelled._

 _"_ _Why not?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Because you`re on punishment."_

 _"_ _But mom don`t you…" Jessica began to say._

 _"_ _Do you want to be cleaning the entire house on your hands and knees?" Devin`s mom asked._

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Then get out of here!"_

 _Jessica and her other siblings pretends to walk away._

 _"_ _You missed a spot." Devin`s mom says kicking over the bucket of bleach water nearly splashing in Devin`s face. Devin didn't budge or even say a word she knew better than to say anything, she just sat there with the bleach water on her face and clothes hoping none got in her mouth._

 _Watching her mom walk away Devin quickly whips her face._

 _"_ _Dang what did you do this time?" Rebecca asked._

 _"_ _I didn't do anything." Devin said as she poured the a jaxs on the ground and scrubbed the floor._

 _"_ _Mom has you scrubbing floors and cleaning the house for no reason?" Richard asked._

 _"_ _She does everything else for no reason why is this such a surprise?" Devin mumbled._

 _"_ _Are you sure you didn't do anything?" Jessica asked._

 _"_ _I woke up late so then she punishes me by making me was all her white clothes that SHE sorted out I put them in the washing machine and put bleach in it- I guess her favorite red shirt was in the pile and it got bleached, so now I`m cleaning the entire house on my hands and knees with my toothbrush and face towel." Devin explained._

 _Walking back up Devin`s mom asked. "Oh you're talking instead of cleaning?"_

 _"_ _They…"_

 _Smacking her upside her head Devin`s mom asked. "Did I ask you for a response?"_

 _Devin shakes her head._

 _"_ _Now why are you talking when you should be cleaning?"_

 _Devin doesn't say anything._

 _"_ _HELLO that was a question."_

 _"_ _You said for me not to speak."_

 _"_ _You think I`m stupid- you don't think I know what I told you."_

 _"_ _No mom that`s not what I meant."_

 _"_ _Then answer my question."_

 _"_ _They were talking to me."_

 _"_ _Do you think I`m stupid- I heard your voice not theirs."_

 _"_ _Why were you talking to them?"_

 _"_ _They asked me a question." Devin replied._

 _"_ _Oh so you`re going to keep lying to me?" Devin`s mom asked._

 _"_ _Mom we…" Diamond began to say._

 _"_ _I`m not talking to you!"_

 _"_ _For that, you have another place to clean, you`ll be cleaning the gutters with your tooth brush."_

 _"_ _But mom!" Devin said._

 _"_ _Oh you want something else- now you`ll clean my tires with your tooth brush."_

 _Devin rolls her eyes._

 _"_ _You rolling your eyes at me, now you can't eat."_

"Did you eat that night?"

Devin shrugs

Joe`s eye brows raised at how cruel her mother was Devin never really spoke about things her mom did to her growing up so this was all news to him.

"Can you tell me a story about a time your dad treated you better?"

 _"_ _What is that daddy?" Rebecca asked._

 _"_ _It's a surprise for Devin!"_

 _"_ _Where's my surprise?" Rebecca asked._

 _"_ _Your mom just bought you over twenty new toys and she didn't buy Devin anything this one's just for her." Her dad said._

 _"_ _But that's not fair!"_

 _"_ _Life's not fair honey."_

 _"_ _Hi daddy!" Devin said running in and taking her jacket off and tossing it on the floor._

 _"_ _Hi princess."_

 _"_ _What's that behind your back?" Devin asked attempting to look._

 _"_ _Well you have to pick up your jacket first and I`ll let you open it."_

 _"_ _Okay!" Devin says picking up her jacket._

 _"_ _Now what is it?!"_

 _"_ _Come on." Her dad said pulling her with him into the family room with everyone._

 _"_ _What's that in your hand hun?" Devin's mom asked._

 _"_ _It`s a gift for Devin."_

 _"_ _Why are you buying her stuff without buying the rest anything?"_

 _"_ _Excuse me you`ve bought them stuff without buying Devin anything."_

 _"_ _Can I open it daddy?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Sure!"_

 _Devin runs over to it and tears the wrapping paper off like a kid on Christmas._

 _"_ _A karaoke machine you remembered! Devin said._

 _"_ _Why wouldn't I?"_

 _"_ _Thank you daddy!" Devin said running over to her dad._

 _"_ _Cool- can I try it out?" Diamond asked._

 _"_ _No- this is just for Devin I don't want to catch any of you using it."_

 _"_ _Dad that's not fair." Jessica said._

 _"_ _I`m sorry was Devin allowed to play with your chemistry set you got last week?"_

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Was she allowed to play with your drum set you got the day before?"_

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _What about your gymnastic stuff."_

 _"_ _I get it." Jessica said._

 _"_ _Come on Dev I`ll hook it up for you."_

"How did you feel when your dad went out his way to give you something you always wanted?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I felt special and loved."

"And how did you feel when your mom went out her way to be mean to you?"

"I felt sad and unwanted."

"So your dad made you feel special and loved?"

"Yes."

"How did you feel when he left?"

"Abandoned, even at that young age, I felt like he didn't love me anymore and if he didn't love me nobody else would."

"That's a lot of feelings coming from an eight year old."

Devin nods her head.

"How did that affect you when it came to relationships?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"As far as with men or relationships in general?" Devin asked.

"With men."

"I was confused part of me wanted to be loved and the other half of me didn't believe I was loveable and that one day they were all going to leave and they did all except Joe."

"How did you feel when you relationships kept going south and they left you?"

"I didn't feel anything I knew they would all leave one day, especially once they found out how damage I was, that's why I was so surprised Joe stuck around especially because he saw the good bad and the ugly and he choose to stick by my side and hold my hand through it all."

"Do you think he will leave you like the rest?"

"He's proven he isn't going anywhere, but in the back of my head I still think he will, I mean we're married but he's been married before and he left that marriage whats keeping him from doing that again- you know?"

"I see- Joe why did you choose to stick it out with her?"

"Because I love her, I've always loved her and I always will, I admit the first time I seen her have melt down I was a little scared and concerned but even at that point I knew there was no turning back because I was already head over hill for her, I guess you can say her good outweighed her low moments and it still does, you don't just walk out on someone you love because they have a bad moment."

"So if you knew the moment you asked her out everything you would go through with her and all her problems would you have asked her out?"

"I would."

"Why?"

"Because she's worth it, everyone has problems, doesn't mean they don't deserved to be loved." Joe said.

Devin gives him a closed smile.

"Okay so I'll end on that note, I'll see you tomorrow."

Watching his wife struggle to get up Joe asked.

"Do you need help getting up?"

"It`s this part of the couch it sucked me in."

"Excuses excuses…"

"Do you need help?" Joe asked

"Yeah because I`m soo fat."

"You are not fat you`re…"

"I`m what?"

"You`re perfect."

"Yeah yeah." Devin says as Joe helps her up.

Devin and Joe walks out of her office and climbs in their car in dead silence, driving Joe takes one of his hands off the wheel and rubs it on her thigh feeling her tense up he quickly pulls his hand away, she didn't have to say a word.

.

.

"Back so soon?" Rachel asked looking up.

"Yeah." Devin said.

"Well they're all in the back taking a nap." Rachel said getting up.

"I wish they would take a nap for me!"

"Then I should feel lucky?"

"Very lucky!"

"Hey so Raquel and I are hanging out later you should come with!"

"I don't know, I just have so much to do around the house."

"I can do it, you go have fun!" Joe said.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright."

"Sweet so I`ll call you when we're heading out." Rachel says.

"Sure."

"Alright, I`ll see you later." Rachel said hugging Devin and then walking out.

Devin locks the door then turns and walks to the kitchen Joe follows behind. As Devin began to wash the dishes; Joe walks behind her and puts his arms around her waist, Devin turns around and begins to kiss him as Joe lifted her up and placed her on the counter and continued to kiss her lowering his hand to pull up her shirt, Devin's heart begins to beat really fast.

"Joe stop." Devin said as Joe continued to kiss her moving his kisses to her neck.

Starting to panic Devin says. "Joe I said stop!"

Joe sighs and pulls away from her, and with frustration he turns and grabs his hair, they hadn't had sex since before the incident which was almost three months ago. Joe turns around to see Devin still on the counter, she had pulled her legs on top of the counter as close as she could to her, lowering her head in between her legs with her arms wrapped around her legs, without saying anything Joe walks back over and lifts her head from between her legs and wraps his arms around her.

"I`m sorry." Devin whispers.

"Shh." Joe says as he continued to hug her.

"Hey you said we couldn't sit on the counter!" JoJo said.

"JoJo go back to your room." Joe said already knowing which child it was.

.

.

"Mama had another anxiety attack." JoJo said walking back in her room.

"But we did everything right, we we're good for auntie Rachel and we cleaned our room we even ate all our food." Joelynn said.

"I know, but daddy is in there trying to make it better."

"But what if he can't make tee-tee better?" Jenn said.

"He can- he always make things better."

.

.

"So how are things at home?" Rachel asked breaking the silence.

"Fine."

"How are things with you and Joe?" Rocky asked.

Devin rises one eyebrow and asked. "Why- what do you know?"

"Nothing that's why I asked."

"Mmm."

"Devin, I wish you would just talk to us, we're worried about you." Rachel said.

"You don't have to worry about me, I`m fine." Devin says.

"Are you really?" Rocky asked lifting her eyebrow.

"I am."

"If you can't be honest with your best friends who can you be honest with?" Rachel asked.

"I feel like screaming but I can't, not without anyone looking at me funny, I feel trapped inside, my emotions are everywhere one minute I want to be touched, next minute I can't stand being touched and it sets off my anxiety, I think I`m going crazy." Devin said as tears built up in her eyes.

"You're not going crazy, your feelings are understandable for someone who went through what you went through, I couldn't imagine." Rachel said.

"I just want everything to go back to normal."

"And it will." Rocky says.

"When, when will I feel better because I feel like nothings ever going to be the same again?!" Devin asked crying.

"You're right nothing will ever be the same- it will be better- I promise." Rachel said hugging her.

.

.

"Did you have a good time with Rachel and Rocky?" Joe asked as Devin walked into the room.

"It was alright." Devin said taking her jacket off.

"Why just alright?"

"They kept trying to pry." Devin said grabbing her pajamas out of her dresser.

"They probably thought they were helping." Joe said as he watched Devin pull up her shirt up.

"I`m sure they did." Devin said looking back.

Not really sure if he was watching her she asked.

"Do you like what you see?"

"I do!"

"All of this?"

"Every last bit." Joe says.

Without saying anything she turns and walks into the bathroom and comes out in her underwear and one of his shirts.

"I hope you don't mind, I think I like your shirt better."

"Well it looks better on you anyways."

 _"_ _Nope, I`m starting to think there`s something wrong with me." Devin says._

 _Joe laughs to himself._

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _There`s defiantly nothing wrong with you, you`re perfect."_

 _"_ _Perfect, right I could point out ten things about myself that is not perfect at the least."_

 _"_ _I could point out twenty things that are absolutely perfect about you- at the least." Joe replied._

 _Devin turns and looks at him and says._

 _"_ _If I wasn't mistaken I would think you were flirting with me."_

 _"_ _You`re a smart girl." Joe says winking._

 _"_ _Well I was valedictorian in high school."_

 _"_ _I bet you were."_

 _"_ _It`s getting cold." Devin says looking up noticing her best friend was now staring at her._

 _"_ _What?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Nothing."_

 _Joe so badly wanted her wrapped in his arms while they shared a passionate kiss but he didn't want to ruin their friendship, if there was one thing that meant the world to him besides his daughter it was his friendship with Devin so he had to keep his feelings at bay no matter how hard he was falling for her._

"Joe?" Devin called.

"Yeah babe?" Joe said snapping back into reality.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

Shaking her head Devin says." You were just zoned out- what were you thinking about?"

"You."

Devin gives him a closed smile and climbs into bed and lays her head on his chest. Looking down Joe gives her a close smile and wrapped his arms around her.

"So do you want to do me the biggest favor?"

"Depends what it is."

"Do you want to go to the store and get me a big bag of sour gummy worm and Nutella?" Devin asked lacing her fingers with his.

Sort of chuckling Joe says. "Not really."

Pulling her hand away then scooting over Devin says. "Fine."

Kicking his feet over the bed Joe sighs and says. "Fine I`ll get your sour gummy worms but I`m not getting the Nutella for you to dip in it that's just gross."

"Never mind you don't have too."

"Fine I`ll get the Nutella."

"No it`s fine I don't want it anymore."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright." Joe says laying back down.

Laying down Joe pulls Devin back under him, doing that Devin makes herself comfortable again and Joe kisses her forehead and wraps his arms back around her as they both fell asleep.

A:N/ thank you for reading this chapter and for reviewing so far... Dont forget to review what you thought about this chapter your questions your theories or whatever...


	5. Chapter 5

"No- stop please!" Devin yelled kicking and screaming.

"Devin!"

"Devin!"

"Devin wake up, you're having a bad dream!" Joe said shaking his sleeping wife.

"PLEASE STOP!"

"DEVIN!" Joe yelled as Devin eyes finally open.

"Are you okay?" Joe asked.

With a look of fear Devin shoots up and quickly wraps her arms around Joe as he wrapped his arms around her, he could feel her heart still beating extremely fast.

"It's okay your awake now." Joe says softly.

Devin doesn't say anything, Joe runs his fingers threw her hair as he kissed the top of her head.

Devin looks up and pecks him on the lips and says. "I`m going to go in the rooms with the girls."

.

.

"Mommy!"

"Mommy!"

"Yes baby?" Devin said opening her eyes.

"Did you sleep in here the whole night?" Joelynn asked.

"Not the entire night." Devin said sitting up.

"So you came in here in the middle of the night?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I just wanted to lay with my baby."

"Then you should have laid with Joseph I`m not a baby."

"Of course you're not a baby."

"Do you want to play my barbie's with me?"

"Maybe later Mommy has to get ready for something."

"Okay, is Auntie Rachel coming back today?" Joelynn asked.

"Not today, today you guys are going to Papa and Grandma's house."

"Jenn too?!"

"Yes Jenn is going too."

.

.

"Thanks mom- dad." Joe said kissing his mom as the kids ran in.

"It`s no problem, I just love having the grandbabies over and Jenn should be no problem if she's anything like her auntie she's be a piece of cake." Patricia says.

Devin gives her a closed smile.

"Oh Joseph is in the process of getting potty trained but he might not tell you when he has to go especially if he's playing you're going to have to make him go." Devin says.

"Okay."

"But I brought pull ups just in case he has an accident, but I forgot it in the car so I have to go back and get it."

"Alright."

Devin turns on her heels and walk down the steps and over to her car.

"Is she okay?" Sika asked.

"What do you mean?"

"How has she been since- you know your dad and I have been worrying about her." Patricia said.

Joe sighs and says. "We're going to therapy."

"Well that's good son you guys need to talk to someone about what you guys been through besides each other."

"Last night she..." Joe began to say as Devin walked back up.

"We have to go we're going to be late." Devin says passing her mother in law Josephs Dipper bag.

"Alright bye mom- dad." Joe says hugging them and then turning on his heels.

"Bye Devin." Sika says.

Devin turns around and hugs them both and says. "Bye mom, pops." And then turns to walk away again.

"Oh I almost forgot Jenn is allergic to fruit, so she can't have any but for some odd reason she going to still try and eat it." Devin said turning back on her heel.

"Josephs getting potty trained and Jenn can't have fruit- gotcha." Patricia says.

"See you later daughter." Sika said.

Devin gives them a closed smile and says." Bye."

"They're going to be alright." Joe whispers as they walk away.

Devin takes a deep breath and says. "I know."

"So what were you talking about when I walked up?"

"Don't worry about it." Joe says opening the passenger door for her and closing it then walking to the driver's side.

.

.

"So yesterday we talked about how your parents treated you today I want to talk about your siblings." Dr. Carmichael said.

"Okay, what do you want to know?" Devin asked.

"Are you close to them?"

"Some more than others- or at least we use to be, I haven't really spoken to any of my siblings I spoke to Rebecca here and there but that's it."

"Has she asked how you were since your incident?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Nope."

"So it was just small talk with you two?"

"Pretty much."

"Okay so tell me about your siblings."

"Well Richard, who is the oldest he's your typical older brother very protective."

"What about your other siblings?"

"David is kind of a go with the flow type of guy, Jessica she a know it all she has to be right about everything even when she's dead wrong, Diamond like Richard is very protective but she that type of person that`ll let you know exactly how she feels with no sugar coat…

"And Rebecca…" Devin sighs.

"Rebecca is a brat she thinks she's entitled to everything."

"How well do you get along with her?"

"We're actually pretty close- or at least we were." Devin said.

"What about your other siblings?"

"Diamond and I were just as close, Jessica eh she annoys me the most, David and I would probably be closer but he always wants to be alone, Richard we have a pretty good relationship I wouldn't say we're close but we're not, not close, I guess you could say we're a little above the big brother little sister relationship." Devin said.

"What about you Joe are you close to your siblings?"

"Yeah, I talk to my brother Matt more than my sisters but I think we're all pretty close Summer is my Jessica we butt heads a lot."

"Do you all live in Pensacola?"

"Um, no my little sister Vanessa lives in Atlanta and my older sister Summer lives in New York, and Matt lives in Tampa." Joe explains.

"So Devin tell me more a stories about your siblings." Dr. Carmichael says.

"Okay, I'll tell you about David first."

 _"_ _You wake him up!" Rebecca whispered loudly._

 _"_ _No- you wake him up!" Devin whispered._

 _"_ _Why do I have to wake him?"_

 _"_ _Because she called you and asked you not me!" Devin whispered back._

 _"_ _GUYS stop fighting and one of you ask him!" Diamond asked._

 _"_ _One of you?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Did I stutter- yes one of you!"_

 _"_ _She's always makes us do the dirty work, I say we gang up on her and fight her!" Rebecca said jokingly._

 _"_ _Nah, she could probably take both of us." Devin said looking at her older sister._

 _"_ _I`m going to lay back down tell Kim I`m sorry!" Diamond said turning around._

 _"_ _Fine, Fine I'll ask, but next time…"_

 _"_ _Ask me what?" David asked waking up out of a dead sleep._

 _The three girls stood there in dead silence exchanging glares when Diamond and Rebecca pushed Devin to talk._

 _"_ _Um could you take me- us to go pick Kim up?" Devin asked._

 _David doesn't say a word._

 _"_ _Her boyfriend hit her again."_

 _"_ _Okay." David said throwing his legs over the bed._

 _"_ _But we have to be quiet we're kind of sneaking out." Rebecca said as David climbed out of bed._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _So why isn't she at home?" David asked as he drove._

 _No one said anything._

 _"_ _Dev?"_

 _"_ _I don't know all I know is what Rebecca told me._

 _"_ _Which is?"_

 _"_ _That she called her crying asking her if we could pick her up."_

 _"_ _Hey what's with the third degree, if we wanted to answer twenty-one questions we would have asked Richard?" Diamond said._

 _"_ _Maybe you should have."_

"Now tell me about Diamond." Dr. Carmichael says.

 _"_ _When mom ask it was my idea!" Diamond says_

 _"_ _Di we can't let you take all the blame we all chose to sneak out and we all got in the car, you didn't hold a gun to any of our heads." Devin said._

 _"_ _Devi if she wants to take the blame let her." Rebecca said._

 _"_ _Rebecca is right, let me take the blame, there is no use in all of us getting in trouble." Diamond said._

 _Devin just looked around._

 _"_ _Alright guys?" Diamond asked._

 _"_ _Yeah." Rebecca said._

 _"_ _Devin?"_

 _"_ _Fine."_

 _"_ _Dave?"_

 _"_ _Whatever." David responded._

 _"_ _David is 18 year's old he can go out without permission." Kim said still holding her face._

 _"_ _Not in our house." Devin said._

"Well, did she take the blame?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Devin shakes her head no.

"Go on- to your next sibling."

 _"_ _What the hell are you doing out this late?!" Beverly Devin's mom asked._

 _"_ _Umm…" Devin stuttered._

 _"_ _Go to the room." Rebecca whispered pushing Kim._

 _"_ _Well I`m waiting!" Beverly yelled._

 _"_ _It…" Diamond began to say before she got cut off by her eldest brother._

 _"_ _I told them they could go pick up Kim, they said it was an emergency, I didn't want them waking you, you looked tired." Richard said walking into the room._

 _"_ _You guys know better if you guys are going to leave this house you need to ask an adult and I don't mean your 19 and 18 year old brothers." Bev said._

 _"_ _And David I don't want you driving them anywhere without checking that it's alright with me- alright."_

 _"_ _Whatever." A sleepy David said dragging his feet to his room._

"Was that the end of it?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Yeah- but only because it wasn't me who said it was my fault." Devin said.

"So tell me about your other two sisters."

A:n/ This chapter probably would have been ridiculously long so the rest of the chapter will be in the next one where you`ll learn more about her siblings and her moms craziness, how they reacted when they found out about her eating disorder and you`ll hear about Devin`s nightmare which brings me to the question what do you think her night mare was about? Don't forget to review and thank you to everyone who`s been reviewing or has reviewed (Cough cough WolfGirl2013, Ads611 and Caz21)


	6. Chapter 6

"So how is everything at home?" Patricia asked her granddaughter.

"Fine." JoJo said plainly.

"Mommy has…" Joelynn began to say before getting cut off by her sister and her cousin.

"Shh!" JoJo said as Jenn elbowed her.

"You can tell grandma."

"No we can't." JoJo said.

"Why not?"

"Because we can't." JoJo said as they continued to draw.

"Joelynn?"

JoJo gives her sister a you better not say anything glare.

"We can't talk about it." Joelynn says.

"Did your mommy tell you guys not to tell anyone about what's going on?"

"Pat!" Sika said.

"What these are my grandchildren I have the right to know!"

"Do you?"

"It's not that." JoJo says.

"Then did your daddy tell you not to talk about it?" Patricia asked.

"No." JoJo said.

"Then you can tell grandma and Papa.

"Mommy has anx-anx…" Joelynn tried to say but gets cut off by her older cousin.

"Anxiety attacks." Jenn says.

"Oh my gosh, is she okay?"

"Mama said she'll be okay." JoJo said.

"How long has she been having anxiety attacks?"

In unison both Jenn and Joelynn shrugs.

"Since the Incident I think." JoJo guessed.

"Mmm." Patricia says.

"Have you seen her have these anxiety attacks?" Sika asked with concern.

JoJo nods her head and says. "Twice, once when we went to work with her, she tried to send us away so we wouldn't see her, she told us to go back with cousin Josh but I went to go get daddy and daddy made her better."

"What about the other time?" Patricia asked.

"We were at home and I woke up from a nap, and I was thirsty so I went into the kitchen and Mama was sitting on the counter and daddy was hugging her."

"So how do you know she was having an anxiety attack?"

"Because daddy told me to go back to the room- he didn't even look at me when he said it." JoJo said.

"Did they talk to you about her anxiety?" Sika asked.

JoJo nods her head.

"What did they say?"

"Well mama came in our hotel room and she talked to us about it first she apologized for yelling at us…"

"Why did she yell at you guys?" Patricia asked.

"We kept asking her for something- I can't remember what, but she said ever since the incident she's been mad in general and that's why she yelled and she still loved us the same, then she told us about her anxiety she said it's when your mind thinks you can't breath and you panic and you shake and stuff and she said she going to be okay so we didn't have to worry." JoJo said.

"Where was your dad?"

"In their room."

"Did he talk to you guys about your mom's anxiety?"

"Yeah."

"What did he say?"

"He said it could get triggered, Jenn, Lynn and I went off with cousin Josh without telling mama where we were going cause she told us to stay in a specific spot, while she went in her meeting and when she came out she couldn't find us and he said that triggered her anxiety attack."

"Well…"

"Pat that's enough- if they wanted us to know they would have told us them self." Sika said.

"You won't tell Mama and Daddy we told you right?"

"Don't worry our lips are sealed." Patricia said.

.

.

 _"_ _You ask!" Devin said._

 _"_ _No you ask!" Diamond said._

 _"_ _STOP- I`ll ask." Richard said._

 _"_ _Mom won't let us go if we don't take Rebecca." Jessica said._

 _"_ _We don't have to always take her everywhere we go." Devin says._

 _"_ _Yeah we know that, but does mom know that?" Jessica asked._

 _"_ _All yal went to six flags and left me!" Devin said._

 _"_ _Devin get over it, that was years ago!" Jessica said._

 _"_ _So am I going to ask or not?" Richard asked._

 _"_ _Yeah-go go!" Diamond said pushing her brother._

 _They all slowly walk into the kitchen._

 _"_ _Um- mom." Richard says._

 _"_ _Yes Richard." Bev says looking up from her Jet magazine._

 _"_ _Could we have some money to go to San Francisco?" Richard asked._

 _"_ _For what?"_

 _"_ _Gas and to buy things."_

 _"_ _Ion got no money, I only have money for bills."_

 _Richard looks back at his siblings._

 _"_ _David you have to ask!" Jessica whispered as she pushed her older brother._

 _"_ _Whatever." David said as he stumbled forward._

 _"_ _Hey mom can we…"_

 _"_ _I already told your brother no." Bev said cutting him off._

 _David shrugs and says. "Okay."_

 _"_ _But mom!" Jessica whined._

 _"_ _Jessi what did I say to your brothers?"_

 _"_ _I know but…"_

 _"_ _But nothing!"_

 _Jessica rolled her eyes and walked back to her siblings._

 _"_ _Diamond you go next."_

 _"_ _If the princess Jessica couldn't get it from her I defiantly can't!" Diamond said._

 _"_ _Come on you have to try-right guys?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Yeah!" Jessica and Richard said in unison._

 _"_ _Whatever." David said._

 _"_ _Alright but if she says no…"_

 _"_ _You don't know until you try!" Devin said._

 _"_ _When did you get so smart?" Jessica asked._

 _"_ _When you weren't paying attention to me." Devin said plainly._

 _"_ _Hey mom, I know you already said no to Jessi and them but- pleeeeaaaassee can we have some money!" Diamond said getting on her knees._

 _"_ _Sure I`ll give you money." Bev says._

 _Diamond looks back at her siblings._

 _"_ _If you give all those new clothes I just bought you back."_

 _"_ _Never mind I don't want to go that bad." Diamond said getting off her knees and walking back to her siblings._

 _"_ _Devin you're our last chance!" Jessica says._

 _"_ _You know and I know mom defiantly won't say yes to me!" Devin said._

 _"_ _What happened to you never know until you try!" Richard said._

 _"_ _That's when it wasn't me!"_

 _"_ _Dev!" David said._

 _"_ _Oh you shut up you didn't even try!" Devin said._

 _"_ _Yeah I did."_

 _"_ _Not hard enough!"_

 _"_ _So."_

 _Devin rolls her eyes._

 _"_ _Come on!"_

 _"_ _Alright, but be prepared to never get a single gift of the next two years after I ask!" Devin said._

 _"_ _Hey mom."_

 _"_ _NO!"_

 _"_ _But…"_

 _"_ _But nothing the answer is no!"_

 _Devin looks back at her sibling, and they signaled her to keep asking._

 _"_ _I haven't asked you for anything in a long time…"_

 _Bev sighs and puts her magazine down and says. "Devin, if you`re going to be begging for money for anything you should be begging for money for a perm for your nappy a** hair!"_

 _Devin's face drops, her mom always knew how to ruin her day._

 _"_ _What are we doing?" Rebecca asked walking up._

 _"_ _Devin's trying to get money so we can go to San Francisco." Diamond said not looking back at her little sister._

 _"_ _I`ll ask."_

 _"_ _Why you're not going."_

 _Like a light bulb went off in her head Jessica said. "If Rebecca ask we defiantly will get it- mom never says no to her."_

 _"_ _Soo." Rebecca says._

 _"_ _Ask away!" Richard says._

 _Devin walks back over with a sad look on her face._

 _"_ _Sticks and stones…" Jessica began to say._

 _Devin doesn't say anything._

 _"_ _Come on Dev- sticks and stones…"_

 _"_ _Will break my bone but words will never hurt me." Devin says._

 _Every time their mom would say something to hurt Devin's feelings, she would say that to her to remind her that what she says could never hurt her, it's been their thing since they were younger._

 _"Mom can I have some money?" Rebecca asked._

 _"_ _Sure baby." Bev says digging in her pocket and passing her money._

 _Every one of her sibling's mouth dropped._

 _"_ _Thanks!" Diamond said as she tried to grab the money from her sister._

 _"_ _She gave me this money, why would I give it to you, you weren't even going to invite me!" Rebecca said pushing pass her siblings._

 _"_ _I should have saw that coming."_

"Did your mom always do that?" Dr. Carmichael says.

"Not with money but with other things- yeah."

"Okay, tell me about your other sister Jessica."

 _"_ _We should have known she's been losing weight like crazy." Richard said._

 _"_ _And she's been refusing to eat, she lies and says she already ate but she really hasn't." Diamond says._

 _"_ _Come on you don't believe this, all you have to do is tell her to eat." Jessica says._

 _"_ _I`m going to pretend you didn't just say that!" Richard said in disbelief of his sister's ignorance._

 _Diamond narrows her eyes at her older sister and says. "You're ignorant, it doesn't work that way we have to get her help."_

 _"_ _Yes it does one time I didn't eat for a couple of days and I just went back to eating."_

 _"_ _Jessica I know you think your super smart because you go to Harvard and because you graduated from high school a year early, but you're an idiot."_

 _"_ _Yeah, we need to get her some help- she needs to go somewhere they specialize in eating disorders." Richard said._

 _"_ _Where's David?" Diamond asked looking around._

 _"_ _Somewhere in his own little world."_

 _"_ _You guys, I`m not sending her to no hospital I aint paying for that!" Bev says._

 _"_ _Then I`ll pay for it!" Richard said._

 _"_ _Rich you just bought a house you can't afford it!" Jessica said._

 _"_ _It doesn't matter my little sister is sick and I`m going to do whatever it takes to get her better!" Richard said._

 _"_ _What are you guys talking about?" A Frail Devin says walking in with her arms folded._

 _Devin was now 100 pounds she went from 180 to 100 in a matter of a few short months, she had dark rings under her eyes and her once thick hair was now thinning out._

 _"_ _Sit down." Richard said with a straight face._

 _"_ _What is this about?" Devin asked as she sat down._

 _"_ _I`m sorry I`m late!" David said running through the door._

 _Richard, Diamond and Rebecca just stared at David._

 _"_ _What- what did I miss?" David asked as he walked around the couch and hugged everyone._

"You had an eating disorder?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Devin nodded her head.

"Well congratulations on beating it."

"Thanks." Devin said giving her a closed smile.

"So do you have any good memories with your siblings or are they all bad?"

"No I have good ones."

"Could you share one?"

"Sure, this was before the eating disorder when we were all in high school, David, Jessica, Diamond and I, Rebecca was in middle school."

 _"_ _Shh." Devin said as they all giggled._

 _"_ _Someone grab the Ice cream!" Jessica whispered._

 _"_ _You know we're going to get in trouble if mom catches us up this late!" Rebecca yells._

 _"_ _That's why we're whispering you idiot!" Jessica said._

 _"_ _And besides it's the last week of summer we have to have some fun!" Diamond said._

 _"_ _Do we have everything?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Yeah I think so!" Jessica said._

 _"_ _Then let's go before big mouth wakes her up." Devin says referring to her baby sister._

 _So the girls walk out of the kitchen and put all their snacks on the living room table and sat on the couch watching titanic as they shared one cover._

 _"_ _Hey can we sit on the roof and watch the sun raise?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _When it's time- yeah." Jessica says._

 _"_ _What are you guys doing up this late?" Richard asked startling the girls._

 _"_ _We're watching titanic wanna watch?" Diamond asked._

 _"_ _Ion wanna watch no dang titanic!"_

 _"_ _Come on we won't tell anyone!" Rebecca says._

 _Rolling his eyes Richard says. "Fine let me go get my cover."_

 _"_ _And tell David to come too!"_

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _This is beautiful!" Devin said holding her Knees._

 _"_ _We have to make the best out of our last week of summer!" Devin continues._

 _"_ _We will." Jessica says._

 _"_ _Promise!" Devin said._

 _"_ _I promise._

"Did you guys have a lot of times like that?"

"We did."

"I can tell it was important to you." Dr. Carmichael says.

"How?"

"I`ve noticed the only stories you remember every detail on was the ones that were important to you." Dr. Carmichael says.

"Yeah it was important."

"Can you tell me another story?"

"This one was the day before school started." Devin said.

 _"_ _Come on!" Jessica said as her and Diamond tried to pull Devin out of the door as Rebecca pushed._

 _"_ _I don't wanna get in trouble!" Devin said._

 _"_ _Weren't you the one that said we have to make the most of our last week of summer?" Rebecca asked._

 _"_ _Yeah but I didn't mean playing hid and seek in our back yard at three in the morning!" Devin said._

 _"_ _Fine were not going to beg you!" Jessica said letting go of her little sister._

 _"_ _We're not?" Diamond asked._

 _"_ _Nope- let her go." Jessica said as both Diamond and Rebecca let go._

 _Devin fell and said. "Good because it wasn't going to work!"_

 _"_ _Devin please!" Rebecca said._

 _"_ _Fine." Devin said rolling her eyes._

 _"_ _I though it wasn't going to work?" Diamond asked._

 _"_ _Shut up." Devin replied._

 _So the girls went outside and met their older brothers._

 _"_ _So you said you wanted to have fun?" Richard said as he stood there in full combat with a paint ball gun in his hand._

 _"_ _Richard we came out here to play hide and seek!" Jessica said._

 _"_ _And we are- extreme version!"_

 _"_ _You're not shooting me with that!" Diamond said._

 _"_ _I am if I catch you!"_

 _"_ _No you're not!"_

 _"_ _Yes I am!"_

 _"_ _If you shoot me with that I`m telling mom!"_

 _"_ _And if you tell mom we're all going to get in trouble for being outside this late!" Richard said._

 _"_ _What are the rules?" Jessica asked._

 _"_ _It's just like hide and seek…"_

 _"_ _In hide and seek you don't carry a paint ball gun!" Devin said._

 _"_ _Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, it's like regular hide and seek except instead of being tagged you get hit with a paint ball gun." Richard said._

 _"_ _Where's base?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _That old shed." David said._

 _"_ _Are you ready?" Richard asked._

 _"_ _I was born ready!" Devin said._

 _"_ _That's because you run fast!" Rebecca said._

 _Devin has always been the athletic one, her and Richard._

 _"_ _Who's it?" Jessica asked._

 _"_ _I am!" Richard said._

 _"_ _Should of known." Jessica said rolling her eyes._

 _They were out there for hours having the time of their lives and everyone got shot except Devin who none of them could catch her even though she was bigger than all of them she was also quicker, until they all got together and made a plan to team up and corner her, that's how they caught her, making her it._

 _At this point within a matter of minutes she caught everyone except her oldest brother Richard._

 _"_ _Come on Rich I`m getting tired!" Diamond said._

 _"_ _I know we have school in the morning!" Jessica said._

 _Neither Devin nor Richard were ready to give up, Devin wasn't going in until she got him and he wasn't stopping until he reached base._

 _"_ _GOT YOU!" Devin yelled running after her brother._

 _"_ _JUST SHOOT!" David yelled._

 _Devin cocked her gun and shot him right in the back._

 _"_ _Ahh you got me!" Richard yelled as he fell to the ground._

 _"_ _Guys!" Rebecca said as she noticed the sprinkler heads popping up._

 _"_ _Not now Becca!" Richard yelled._

 _"_ _But guys!"_

 _"_ _What?!"_

 _"_ _The sprinklers!" Rebecca yelled._

 _Everyone but Devin ran out of reach, Devin just stood there._

 _"_ _Come on Devin before you get all wet!" Richard yelled from across the yard._

 _"_ _No!" Devin yelled back._

 _"_ _Devin you're going to get sick!" Jessica yelled._

 _Just then the sprinklers turned on and Devin started laughing as she spent around in the water._

 _"_ _Devin stop being weird and get over here!" Diamond yelled._

 _Not listening Devin continued to laugh and dancing in the water._

 _"_ _If you can't beat them join them!" Rebecca said joining her older sister._

"Did you get sick?"

"Not that I remember." Devin said.

"How has this therapy been going for you?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I`m starting to feel a tad better- it feels kind of good to talk to someone other than my husband."

"Yeah it's always good to talk to an outsider."

"So on the first day Joe mentioned you were spazzing out on people." Dr. Carmichael said.

"Yes."

"Have you spazzed out on any one lately?"

"No."

"Well that's good, but you probably will, when you feel like you're going to spazz out you should go for a walk okay."

"Okay."

"Well that is all for today's session I will see you guys tomorrow."

Still sitting there Devin says. "Last night I had a night mare."

"About?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"My kids and I were in this abandon hospital like building, and there was this man…"

Devin turned in her seat and continued. "And he was hurting my kids-I couldn't stop him, I couldn't protect them they were screaming for me but there was nothing I could do."

"Ever since the incident, I`ve had a fear of being away from my kids."

"And why is that?"

"Because when they're not with me I can't protect them, someone could be hurting them and I`ll never know, which is why they`re either literally right by my side or their dads- so I know they`re okay and no one could ever hurt them."

"So them not being here with you right now is killing you right?"

Devin nods her head.

.

.

(Devins Dream)

 _"Mama help!" JoJo screamed._

 _Sitting in the waiting room with her legs cross reading a magazine Devins head shoots up._

 _"JoJo?!" Devin yelled shooting up and running in the direction of her oldest._

 _"Mommy, help me they're hurting me!" Joelynn yelled in a different direction._

 _Turning the other direction Devin yelled."LYNN!"_

 _Snatching open doors Devin screams her childrens names._

 _"Ma!" Joseph yells._

 _"Joey?!" Devin yelled._

 _"Mama please make them stop!" JoJo screams._

 _Just then all at once she hears all of her kids screaming at once. When suddenly a man comes out of nowhere with all three of her kids._

 _A:n/ SO what are your thoughts of this chapter? What do you think happened for Devin to be so shooken up? What exactly do you think this "Incident" is? A little hint This dream may or may not have anything to do with it what happened this dream may very well just be symbolic or it might not lol ..any who what are your theories?_


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey Devin, Joe." Patricia said as Devin walked in the room.

"Hey mom." Devin says kissing her mother in law on the cheek.

"So are you guys ready?" Devin asked squatting down to pick up her son.

"Aww we have to go already?" Jenn asked.

"Yes, you can come back tomorrow."

"But we want to spend the night!" JoJo said.

"Not to night."

"Please!"

"I said not to night."

"Please!"

"No!"

"Plea-never mind." JoJo said remembering what her dad said.

"Well they could stay they weren't any problem." Patricia said.

"I`m sure, but tonight's just not a good night."

"Come on Devin, those kids barely leave your side, I'm sure you and Joe could use the alone time."

"We could, but tonight's really not a good night."

"Come on!"

"Mom." Joe said.

"What- at least let the girls stay."

"Fine." Devin said rolling her eyes.

"Yay!" The girls said in unison.

"I`ll bring their clothes in the morning." Devin said.

"Alright."

"Bye girls- give mommy/ tee-tee a hug."

The girls just kept on playing completely ignoring Devin. Devin sighs and looks to the side.

"Girls come give your mom/ tee-tee a hug!" Joe says.

The girls gets up and runs over and gives Devin a hug.

"Now you girls don't give your grandma and papa a hard time, you hear?"

"Yes mom." JoJo and Joelynn said in unison.

"And you be good for Uncle Joe's parent's okay, no teaming up with JoJo against Lynn okay?"

"Okay." Jenn said.

"And no picking on your sister." Devin said turning to JoJo.

"Okay."

"See you guys tomorrow mom, dad." Devin said.

"See you then." Sika says.

"Can I call you grandma and Papa too?" Jenn asked.

"Sure baby." Patricia says.

.

.

"You didn't have to let them stay if you weren't ready for them to be away from you yet." Joe said.

"It's fine."

"Is it?" Joe asked lifting his eye brow.

.

.

Late that night...

Joe rolls over in their bed when he sees Devin sitting in the chair next to their bed with her hands in her hair crying, shaking and hyperventilating.

Shooting up Joe asked. "Dev what's wrong?"

Scooting across the bed Joe puts his hand on her shoulder and Devin moves his hand off her shoulder.

"Come here." Joe said.

Devin doesn't move an inch she continues to let her anxiety get the best of her. Joe pulls her by her arm and pulls her to the bed.

"Remember to breathe baby girl."

"There you go."

"Don't stop."

"Can I touch you?" Joe asked with everything that she's been through Joe has learned to ask before he did anything especially when it came Devin's anxiety.

Devin nods her head, Joe wraps his arms around her pulling her closely as she slowly goes back to normal.

Devin looks up with her tears on her face, Joe whips her tears off her face with his thumb. Without saying anything Devin stands up and walks over to Joseph's room.

.

.

"You're not going to wake him up are you?" Joe asked coming up behind her.

Devin doesn't say anything she just walks over to his bed and grabs him out of his bed and walks over to the recliner and sits down and holds him while he sleeps.

"You're going to stay in here all night aren't ya?" Joe asked.

Devin nods her head.

"Then so am I." Joe said walking over to them.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Devin asked laughing.

"On the recliner with you."

"I don't think will all fit, Joseph and I will, you and Joseph will, but me, you and Joseph, I don't think so."

"Yes we can, watch." Joe said throwing his leg over her and sitting behind her.

"Stand up." Joe says.

Devin rolls her eyes and stands up, as Joe puts his legs on the leg part.

"Alright, sit." Joe said as he opens his legs making room for Devin.

"You're going to have to spread your legs a little further if you want me to sit there." Devin said.

Joe spread his legs wider and asked. "That better?"

Devin chuckles and sits down and scoots back against him.

"Comfortable?" Joe asked.

"Very comfortable." Devin says.

"You know he's getting a little too big for you to hold like this."

Even though Joseph looked just like Devin he was really big for his age kind of like Joe when he was his age.

"He'll never be too big for me to hold."

"Yeah, I`ll check with you again when he's three times this size." Joe said.

A:N/ Thank you for reading this chapter and thank you for your reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

Next day.

"Mommy, daddy!" Joseph said pulling Devin's leg.

"Your son`s calling you." Joe says half asleep.

"Before 8:00 he belongs to you!" Devin joked.

"Mommy, daddy!" Joseph calls again.

"Yes baby." Devin said sitting up.

"Where JoJo and Lynn go?" Joseph asked with the cutest puzzled look on his face.

"They spent the night at Papa's and Gamma house."

"I go to Papa and Gamma house?" Joseph asked titling his head.

"You don't want to play with mama and daddy?" Joe asked.

"NO!"

Joe and Devin both laughed.

"Well then I guess we can take you over to Papa and Gamma's house."

"Yay!"

"But you have to get ready first!" Devin said.

"Kay!" Joseph says running to his closet.

"I better help him, last time I let him get his self-dress he looked like a dirty clothes hamper exploded on him." Devin said.

Joe laughs as Devin stands up and scoops her son.

"MOMMY!" Joseph said laughing.

.

.

"So how are things going at home?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Its going better, I`m not spazzing out but last night I had another anxiety attack."

"Well that's understandable for someone who went through a traumatic experience it happens but the more you talk about it the easier it gets and the less anxiety attacks you'll have."

"I`m not ready to talk about it, to anyone." Devin said.

"And you don't have to, until you're ready."

"So how is things between you and Joe?"

"What do you mean?"

"How is your marriage going, usually when women go through something traumatic they tend to pull away from their spouse?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Devin looks at Joe then back at Dr. Carmichael and says. "I mean it could always be better I guess."

"Do you pull away from him?"

"Well now that you mention it I have."

"And how does that make you feel Joe?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I wish she wouldn't in our vows I said through sickness and health and I meant every word of it, but sometimes she won't let me and I don't want to force myself on her."

"Mmm- how's you're sex life?"

Devin chokes on her spit.

"Are you okay?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I`m fine, that just caught me off guard."

"I see."

"Well." Dr. Carmichael continues.

Devin's eyes grow wide as she said. "Well it's kind of non-existing right now."

"And how does that make you feel Joe."

"Like less of a man."

"And that's what I was afraid of I don't want him to feel like he's less of a man because he's not its just…"

"Just what?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Just ever since that incident I don't want to be touched, one minute I love his touches next minute I don't and I won't for a long time then I go back to liking it for a split second then back to not liking it, it has nothing to do with him." Devin said.

"Have you told him that?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I just figured he'd know."

"And that's where the problem lies, are you guys normally good with communicating?"

"I think were." Devin said.

"What do you think Joe, were you?"

"For the most part." Joe says.

"I`m not a marriage counselor but you guys need to work on communicating and getting your sex life back on track, I know it's hard because of the incident but a lot of marriages end because of those two reasons, and I would hate to see your marriage fall apart over something silly."

"I'll try." Devin says.

"That's all i ask, yesterday you said you had an eating disorder."

"Yes I did."

"Which one?"

"I was anorexic but whenever someone would force me to eat I would throw it up but for the most part I was anorexic."

"Can you share your story with us?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

 _"_ _We can't fit because Devin's sitting down too." Devin's cousin Dani said._

 _"_ _Devin you're so fat!" Devin cousin Stacy said._

 _Devin looked down and says. "I could stand up."_

 _"_ _Good because you're taking up all the space!" Dani said._

 _Devin gets up._

 _"_ _Thanks Devin!" Keisha says scooting over._

 _"_ _Yeah thanks Devi." Rebecca says._

 _"_ _Are you okay?" Diamond asked noticing the change on her face._

 _"_ _Yeah I`m fine."_

 _"_ _Are you sure?" Diamond asked._

 _"_ _Yeah." Devin said looking sad._

 _"_ _No you're not, new rule next person to call Devin fat has to walk home." Diamond says._

 _"_ _Fine." Stacy says._

 _"_ _Smile guys!" Rebecca said._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _Devi you didn't smile!" Rebecca said looking at the picture._

 _"_ _I`m not in a smiling mood."_

 _"_ _You were when we got here." Kendall says._

 _"_ _Well I'm not in one now."_

 _"_ _Who did it who do I need to fight?" Crystal asked._

 _"_ _Stop." Devin said walking off._

 _"_ _You really need to stop talking about her weight I think it's starting to get to her." Samantha says._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _Hey Devin, are you okay?" Bree asked._

 _"_ _I`m fine, you should go back with the group, I don't want to ruin your good time."_

 _"_ _Devin, I came out here to hang out with you, my favorite cousin!" Bree said._

 _"_ _I`m sorry about calling you fat earlier I was just being…_

 _"_ _Honest." Devin said cutting Stacy off._

 _"_ _No I was going to say stupid."_

 _"_ _Whatever."_

 _"_ _Look what we got here Fairfield's hottest." A guy says as him and his friends walk up._

 _"_ _Drop dead." Keisha said._

 _"_ _Ohh feisty!"_

 _"_ _Are you guy's sisters?"_

 _"_ _Cousins." Rebecca says._

 _But those are my sisters." Rebecca says pointing to Devin and Diamond._

 _"_ _Mmmm beauty clearly runs in your family, yal from Fairfield."_

 _Samantha shakes her head no._

 _"_ _Where yal from?"_

 _"_ _Well I`m from Sacramento."_

 _"_ _And I`m from Fresno." Bree said._

 _"_ _Where you from?" the guy asked Keisha._

 _"_ _Oakland." Keisha replies._

 _"_ _OAKLAND?!" The guys says in unison._

 _"_ _Yes Oakland."_

 _"_ _What yal doing out here in Fairfield then?"_

 _"_ _Visiting my family."_

 _"_ _Oh so yal from Fairfield?" The guys said pointing at the rest of the family._

 _"_ _You ask too many questions." Dani says._

 _"_ _Yeah is there a point?" Crystal asked._

 _"_ _Yal just fine and I was just wondering if I can get yal numbers, well except the fat one..."_

 _Devin stands up and storms off._

 _._

 _._

 _A week later.._

 _"_ _You can`t wear that your fat!" Devin thought as she stared at herself in the mirror._

 _"_ _I`m not fat." Devin mumbles._

 _"_ _Yes you are, you`re disgusting no wonder you never had a boyfriend or even kissed a guy who would want to kiss someone as fat and disgusting as you?"_

 _"_ _I`m not thinking about this anymore I`m just fine."_

 _"_ _HA- yeah right you`re fat don`t try and sugar coat it- you`ll probably eat that too fat a**!"_

 _"_ _Devi?" Rebecca called._

 _Snapping out of her thoughts Devin looks back and said._

 _"_ _Yeah?"_

 _"_ _Are you okay?"_

 _Sending her a fake smile Devin says. "Perfect, why what`s up?"_

 _"_ _Oh mom said dinner is ready."_

 _"_ _Don`t do it don't eat it, or you`ll be fat for the rest of your life." Devin thought._

 _"_ _I`m not hungry." Devin says._

 _"_ _Really, you`re always hungry."_

 _"_ _That`s because you`re a fat a**." Devin thought._

 _Trying to shake the thoughts out of her head Devin says. "I`m positive, I`m not hungry."_

 _Shrugging Rebecca says. "Okay."_


	9. Chapter 9

_Two weeks later..._

 _"_ _Come on Dev you look fine." Naomi one of Devin's Best friends said._

 _Devin doesn't say anything she just stares in the mirror and pokes at her fat._

 _"_ _Come on I`m getting hungry lets go eat." Ali Devin's other best friend said._

 _"_ _I`m not hungry." Devin said turning to them._

 _"_ _Well at least come and sit with us." Ali said._

 _"_ _Fine, but we have to be back before my mom gets home." Devin says._

 _"_ _Of course!" Naomi said._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _Are you sure you you're not hungry?" Naomi asked._

 _"_ _I`m sure." Devin said._

 _"_ _You don't want any of my burrito?" Ali asked._

 _"_ _I`m not hungry." Devin said as her stomach growled._

 _"_ _You're not hungry huh?"_

 _"_ _I`ll be back I have to pee." Devin said getting up._

 _As Devin gets ups and walks away Ali and Naomi exchanges glares._

 _._

 _._

 _It was almost two months since the mall incident Devin's eating disorder was now in full affect she has lost over 80 pounds and her once thick hair was now thin her once beautiful skin now looked dull and unhealthy._

 _"_ _Devin you should eat something." Naomi said._

 _"_ _I`m not hungry." Devin said plainly._

 _"_ _You look hungry." Naomi said._

 _"_ _What is that supposed to mean?"_

 _"_ _Nothing."_

 _"_ _Look Devin you haven't eaten all day, you really should eat something." Ali says._

 _"_ _I`m not hungry, I ate a big breakfast."_

 _"_ _No you didn't you said you weren't hungry this morning."_

 _"_ _Right, I`m just not hungry."_

 _"_ _I have to go." Devin continued._

 _"_ _Devin, you're not leaving this table until you eat something." Ali said with concern._

 _"_ _Fine." Devin said picking up her sandwich and slowly ate it._

 _"_ _Can I go now- mom?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Yes you may." Ali said laughing._

 _"_ _I`ll be in the library." Devin said._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _I don't feel good my stomach hurts." Devin said walking in holding her stomach._

 _"_ _Did you eat something bad?" The nurse asked._

 _"_ _I think so."_

 _"_ _I`ll go get you something to make you feel better." The nurse said getting up._

 _"_ _Thank you." Devin said as she watched the nurse walk out of her office._

 _As soon as the door closed Devin let go of her stomach and sat back completely faking a stomach ache._

 _"_ _This should help." The nurse said walking back in the room looking at the bottle_

 _"_ _What is it?" Devin asked grabbing her stomach once again._

 _"_ _It will make you throw up whatever is making your stomach hurt and you should feel better." The nurse said._

 _"_ _Okay." Devin said snatching the bottle out of her hand and gulping it down._

 _"_ _Aye take it easy!" The nurse said snatching the bottle back._

 _"_ _I`m sorry." Devin says._

 _"_ _When is it gonna…" Devin began to say as she threw up._

 _"_ _Throw up in the trash." The nurse said passing her the trash can._

 _"_ _I`ll be back." The nurse said walking out and forgetting to close the door._

 _Ali and Naomi just so happened to be walking pass when they look in as they walked pass and seen Devin throwing her guts up._

 _"_ _She didn't seem sick when she left did she?" Ali asked._

 _Naomi shook her no and said. "I think we should tell her mom about this, it's getting serious."_

 _"_ _But Devin will hate us if we tell, especially if we tell her mom." Ali said._

 _"_ _She'll get over it." Naomi said pulling Ali away from the door._

 _._

 _._

 _Later that night..._

 _"_ _You mean you never noticed anything different with her?" Naomi asked._

 _"_ _We should have known she's been losing weight like crazy." Richard said._

 _"_ _And she's been refusing to eat, she lies and says she already ate but she really hasn't." Diamond says._

 _"_ _Come on you don't believe this all you have to do is tell her to eat." Jessica says._

 _"_ _I`m going to pretend you didn't just say that!" Richard said in disbelief of his sister's ignorance._

 _Diamond narrows her eyes at her older sister and says. "You're ignorant, it doesn't work that way we have to get her help."_

 _"_ _Yes it does one time I didn't eat for a couple of days and I just went back to eating."_

 _"_ _Jess I know you think your super smart because you go to Harvard and you graduated from high school a year early but you're an idiot."_

 _"_ _Yeah, we need to get her some help- she needs to go somewhere they specialize in eating disorders." Richard said._

 _"_ _Where's David?" Diamond said looking around._

 _"_ _Somewhere in his own little world."_

 _"_ _You guys I`m not sending her to no hospital I aint paying for that!" Bev says._

 _"_ _Then I`ll pay for it!" Richard said._

 _"_ _Rich you just bought a house you can't afford it!" Jessica said._

 _"_ _It doesn't matter my little sister is sick and I`m going to do whatever it takes to get her better!" Richard said._

 _"_ _What are you guys talking about?" A Frail Devin says walking in with her arms folded._

 _Devin was now 100 pounds she went from 180 to 100 in a matter of a few short months, she had dark rings under her eyes and her once thick hair was now thinning out._

 _"_ _Sit down." Richard said with a straight face._

 _"_ _What is this about?" Devin asked as she sat down._

 _"_ _I`m sorry I`m late!" David said running through the door._

 _Richard, Diamond and Rebecca just stared at David._

 _"_ _What- what did I miss?" David asked as he walked around the couch and hugged everyone._

 _"_ _Your sister has been starving herself for the past couple of months." Bev said insensitively._

 _Devin's mouth drops as she looks at her friends and then her mom._

 _"_ _I-I…" Devin stuttered._

 _"_ _It's okay Devin- well it's not but it's going to be, I`m going to get you some help."_

 _"_ _Help, what if I don't want help- there's nothing wrong with me." Devin said._

 _"_ _Devin you haven't eaten in the past couple of months, you don't think there's anything wrong with you?" Jessica asked._

 _"_ _What if I say I said I`m not going anywhere."_

 _"_ _Dev you`re 15, you don't have any choice all mom has to do is sign a paper and you HAVE to go." Richard said._

 _"_ _And since when did she care about me?" Devin asked angrily._

"Wow- what was treatment like?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"It was hard at first, I had to get use to alot...

"But it got better."

"What was the hardest part?"

"Overcoming it, the new rules- feeling lonely..."

Devin laughs and says. " Being in there i actually missed my mom..."

"My crazy a**mom." Devin continued.

"How long were you in there for?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"A year and some months."

" Can you tell me about it?"

"Sure..."

A:n/ Thank you for reading this chapter and reviewing it really means alot...


	10. Chapter 10

_It was almost a year into Devin's treatment and none of her family had came to see her not once._

 _"_ _Hey mom tomorrow its family day and everyone's family will be here and I was wondering if you guys can make it." Devin said._

 _"_ _I know, but since you didn't make it last time I just thought- okay well tell everyone I said hi and that I love and miss them, hopefully you can make it…"_

 _"_ _Well, now that I think of it I think we can make it." Bev said._

 _"_ _YOU CAN- thanks mom!"_

 _"_ _Yeah, Yeah."_

 _"_ _I love you!" Devin says._

 _"_ _Bye." Bev said hanging up the phone._

 _"_ _So your family is coming this time?" Michelle Devin's roommate asked._

 _"_ _Yeah and I can't wait to see everyone!" Devin said._

 _"_ _Hey Dev." Michelle called._

 _"_ _Yeah?"_

 _"_ _Don't get your hopes up, something might come up."_

 _Michelle had never met Devin's mom but she's heard stories and from what she heard Bev wasn't a good person._

 _"_ _What are you talking about, she said she could make it."_

 _"_ _Yeah I know but just remember you changed, not your mom, she's the exact same person she was when you came into this place." Michelle said._

 _"_ _You worry too much." Devin said._

 _Devin sat in the wreck room with her feet on the couch watching everyone with their family laughing waiting for her family to show up seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours and it was half way through family day and her family still wasn't there, when Devin gave up hope and got up and went back to her room. It wasn't until she went to her room that she finally broke down crying she couldn't believe her family didn't show up, yeah she kind of suspected her mom not to show up but her brothers and sisters._

 _"_ _Are you okay Devin?" Michelle asked walking in their room._

 _"_ _You were right, they didn't come, and the worst part is I knew they weren't coming fifteen minutes in I just didn't want to give up hope." Devin said._

"That must have felt terrible." Dr. Carmichael said.

"It did."

"It seems like every time you need your family they aren't there for you."

"That`s exactly how I feel."

"You really been through a lot where you depressed at all?"

"Surprisingly no."

"What kept you sane?"

"Wrestling I loved watching wrestling, it took me out of the reality of what was going on." Devin said.

"So wrestling made you happy?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"It did."

"Who were your favorites?"

"When I was younger I LOVED Chyna, Lita, Ivory, Molly holly and Victoria, but as far as this era I liked Natalya, Trinity, Tamina, and Katelynn as far as guys I loved R-truth, Kofi Kingston, Titus O'Neil, the usos."

"Where you a fan of your husbands."

"I actually was."

"So when you met him were you completely fan-girling?"

"On the inside I was, on the outside I was like oh hi."

"What made you approached her?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"She looked so nervous and I wanted to make her first day there a little easier." Joe said.

"You didn't find her attractive?"

"Oh I did, she was and still is the most beautifulest thing I have ever seen but again like I said I was married and I wasn't trying to let that thought manifests into anything other than a thought."

"What were your exact thoughts?"

"I think it was 'Oh my gosh she's beautiful'." Joe said.

Devin smiled.

"Obviously your wife is beautiful what was the reactions of the other guys?"

"They were all- well most drooling over her." Joe pauses and laughs. "They even turned it into a game who could get your number first."

"Who did get her number first?"

"I did, but I wasn't playing their games." Joe said.

"Interesting- so Devin would you say your family is really important to you."

"My family as in my husband and my kids, yes."

"Okay, I will like to have a therapy session with them and you if that's okay with you." Dr. Carmichael said.

Devin looks over at Joe and Joe says. "That's fine."

"Well then I will see you next session."

"Okay."

.

.

"So guys do you remember when I told you guys that mommy and daddy were going to see a special doctor to make mommy feel better?" Devin asked as she watched her niece and children eating there ice cream.

"Yeah." JoJo said.

"Well in two days my doctor wants to talk to all of us- how do you feel about that?"

An awkward silence grew through the air as JoJo goes back to eating her ice cream.

"Girls." Joe says.

"Yes Daddy." Joelynn said innocently.

"Your mom asked you a question."

"What was the question again?" JoJo asked.

"How do you feel about going to the doctors with me?"

"Do we have to get a shot?" JoJo asked.

Devin shakes her head no.

"Then I don't mind."

"Yeah neither do I." Joelynn says.

"Do I get to go too?" Jenn asked.

Devin looked at Joe then back at Jenn and said. "Of course you can go."

.

.

"Joe." Devin says sitting on the edge of her bed as Joe started to undress.

"Yeah hun." Joe says turning around.

"I`m sorry I don't mean to push you away or make you feel like you're less than a man."

Joe turns around and walks in front of her and says. "I know." And kisses her on the forehead. Devin grabs his hand as Joe turns to walk away she pulls him back and kisses him, while Joe wrapped his arms around her waist trying to keep his composure, in the back of his mind he knew any minute she would tell him to stop and pull away which was worst then not doing it at all. Devin slowly walks backwards and pulls Joe with her to the middle of the bed as she continued to kiss him as their tongues tangled, Joe lowers his hand starting to tug on her shorts but hesitates, pulling back from the kiss Devin softly says. "It's okay." Giving him full permission to snatch her shorts right off of her. Joe slowly lowers her shorts as they go back to kissing and she unbuttons his shirt, when their door swings open.

"Lynn you know better than to just walk in mommy and daddy's room like that." an upset Joe says.

"I know but." Joelynn said looking down.

"What do you want sweetie?" Devin asked.

"JoJo said there is a monster under my bed!"

Devin sighs and says. "We already talked about this monsters aren't real."

"Yeah huh!"

"Sweetie monsters aren't real."

"Yeah huh!"

"Do you want to give this a try?" Devin asked Joe.

"Lynn there is nothing under your bed." Joe says calmly.

"Uh huh!"

"Do you want mommy to come show you there is no monster under your bed?" Devin asked.

"Yes please!" Joelynn said innocently.

"Alright." Devin said scooting around Joe.

"Don't go." Joe said grabbing her hand.

"But I need mommy with me!"

"Well I need mommy too!" Joe said.

"Well you're going to just have to wait aren't you?" Joelynn asked putting her hand on her hip.

Devin couldn't help but laugh, even though Joelynn looked exactly like Joe when it came to looks but there was no denying she has Devin's sassiness.

"I`m sorry." Joe said throwing up his hands

.

..

Almost four thirty in the morning...

Devin was sitting outside on her balcony watching the sun rise when Joe rolls over in the bed noticing Devin still wasnt in bed, looking up he sees her sitting out on the balcony and he kicks his legs over the bed and walks over to her.

"What are you doing out here?" Joe asked.

"I`m watching the sunrise- come sit." Devin said patting the chair next to her.

Without saying anything Joe walks over to her and pulls her up and sits down in her chair and then pulls her on his lap.

"I waited for you to come back last night." Joe said.

"Lynn was scared and wanted me to sleep in there with her, you know it was her first night in her own room, I waited until she went to sleep to come back but you were already sleep." Devin said turning on his lap.

"Mmm."

"What?"

"I thought I was being stood up." Joe said.

"Me stand you up- never." Devin say drifting into a long silence.

"What`s on your mind?" Joe asked lacing his fingers with her then bringing them to his lips and kissing them.

"The same thing that`s always on my mind."

Pulling her closer to him Joe says. "I know you know this but its going to be okay."

"So they say."

Letting go of her hand and turning her face towards his Joe says. "Hey- it will."

Allowing her unexpected tears to drop Devin says. "I keep playing that day in my head over and over again."

"Trying to pinpoint what went wrong…"

Whipping her tears Joe says. "What happened that day…"

"Mommy." Joelynn says.

"Lynn I told you to knock before you come in." Joe said looking up at his daughter .

"I forgot."

"Well if you forget again you're going to get in trouble, you hear me."

"Yes daddy."

"Joe." Devin whispers.

"What do you want baby?" Devin asked.

"I had a nightmare can I sleep with you and daddy?"

"No." Joe says.

"Sure." Devin says picking Lynn up.

 _"_ _Hey Dev." Joe says walking up to Devin._

 _"_ _Hey Leati." Devin says not even looking at him._

 _Joe sort of smiles and then asked._

 _"_ _Can I ask you for a favor?"_

 _"_ _And before you say no can you please consider it." Joe continued._

 _Devin looks up and says. "_ _Sure."_

 _"_ _Okay so some friends from college are having this thing at a club and people are going with their wives or girlfriends…"_

 _"_ _And you want to know if I want to go with you since you and Galina are separated?"_

 _"_ _Exactly."_

 _"_ _Eh, Joe you know I don't like parties."_

 _"_ _Please do it for me, your best friend."_

 _"_ _And what are they going to think when you come with me- your friend?"_

 _"_ _You just let me worry about that."_

 _"_ _Alright but I better not regret it."_

 _"_ _You won`t."_

 _"_ _When and what time?" Devin asked._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _That`s her that`s your girlfriend?" Joe`s old friend asked._

 _"_ _Nah, she`s just a friend." Joe replied._

 _"_ _But you want her, otherwise you wouldn't have invited her here."_

 _Joe looks at his friend and says._

 _"_ _Shut up."_

 _Watching her walk up Joe smiles and walks towards her. Greeting her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek Joe says._

 _"_ _You look nice as usual."_

 _"_ _Thanks."_

 _"_ _Well let me introduce you to my friends." Joe says guiding her to the group with his hand on the middle of her back._

 _"_ _Guys, ladies this my friend Devin, Devin these are my friends and their wives."_

 _The same friend that was giving Joe a hard time earlier says._

 _"_ _You must be someone special Joe`s never introduced us to any of his other friends before."_

 _"_ _Adam." Joe calls._

 _"_ _We are, Joe`s my best friend." Devin replies._

 _"_ _Is that right?" Adam asked._

 _Devin innocently nods her head and says. "Yeah, Joe and I do everything together, well not everything but a lot of things, or at least we do when we`re on the road."_

 _"_ _Do you?"_

 _"_ _Uh-huh."_

 _Already knowing where his friend was going with this Joe asked._

 _"_ _Do you want to dance?"_

 _"_ _Sure." Devin says taking off her long jacket revealing her dress that hugged all of her curves._

 _Joe caught himself starring at her with lust but quickly takes his eyes off of her as they walk away._

 _"_ _That`s um an interesting dress."_

 _"_ _Yeah, I thought since I`m out might as well try and catch me a man." Devin joked._

 _"_ _You don't want to meet a guy here."_

 _"_ _And why not?"_

 _"_ _Because guy`s here wouldn't know how to treat a lady like you."_

 _"_ _And how should I be treated?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Like a jewel." Joe replies._

 _"_ _Well you`re here." Devin says as they reached the dance floor._

 _"_ _I mean guys who normally hang out here."_

 _"_ _Mmm." Devin says as they finally start dancing._

 _Unlike the very first time they danced together this time their bodies wasted no time getting close. Joe tired his hardest not to lust after his friend but ever since the fourth of July a couple of weeks ago he`s found it harder to not to want her and not just in physical way but as his girlfriend too, but by the way she moved her body against his and the tightness of her dress was sort of making it hard for him._

 _Closing his eyes Joe sighs trying to redirect his mind, her body moving up against his was the sweetest torture, the worst part was she didn't even know what she was doing to him._

 _Turning around Devin grabs his hand and placed it around her waist as she innocently moved her body close to him with her hand still on his. Joe`s hand slowly started to make his way to her thigh at this point he couldn't stop his mind from lusting after her everything was becoming too much for him._

 _"_ _What are you doing Joe?" Joe thought to himself._

 _"_ _I`ll be right back." Joe says quickly walking away before Devin even got the chance to say anything._

 _Devin looking confused as she just watched him walk away faster than the speed of light._

 _Walking over to the empty table they were at when they first walked in Devin sat down and wondered what she did wrong and why Joe ran off like that when all of a sudden she is brought out of her thought`s by Joe`s friend Adam._

 _"_ _What are you waiting on?" Adam asked._

 _Pointing to the bathroom across the room Devin says. "Joe went to the bathroom."_

 _Adam lifts his eye brows and asked. "You know he likes you right?"_

 _"_ _I like him too." Devin replies._

 _"_ _You do?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, he`s my best friend."_

 _Adam shakes his head._

 _Leaving the bathroom, Joe searches the dance floor for his friend when he spots her at the table he walks over to the table and takes a deep breath and asked._

 _"_ _Do you want to go back to dancing or do you want leave now?"_

 _"_ _Sure."_

 _"_ _Which one?" Joe asked laughing._

 _"_ _We could go back to dancing, the nights young."_

 _"_ _Good."_

 _"_ _I`ll meet you on the floor."_

 _"_ _Okay." Devin says jumping up._

 _Watching her walk away Joe turns to Adam and asked._

 _"_ _What were you talking to her about?"_

 _"_ _Nothing, just you, her, you and her together."_

 _Joe takes a deep breath and says. "I don't need your help, leave her alone."_

 _"_ _Got it?"_

 _"_ _Sure." Adam says throwing his hands up._

 _Joe makes his way to the dance floor. Jealously Joe watches his best friend and coworker dance with someone else nothing like she danced with him, which made him wonder if she did know what she was doing when they danced before, Devin noticed Joe standing there and she stops dancing with the guy and walks back over to him._

 _"_ _Do you want to dance- buddy?" Devin asked._

 _Joe just grabs her hips and starts dancing with her nothing like they danced before but they still stood pretty close._

 _"_ _Do you dance like that with everyone- every guy?" Joe asked._

 _"_ _Like what?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _Like you were dancing earlier?"_

 _"_ _Oh that..." Devin shakes her head and says._

 _"_ _No, never, I don't even like parties so when would I ever dance, I was just having fun."_

 _"_ _Good." Joe mumbles._

 _After dancing for a while Joe looks at his watch and says._

 _"_ _We should get going, we have an early flight, or at least I do."_

 _"_ _Yeah so do I."_

 _Walking back to the table for her jacket Joe grabs it and opens it for her to put it on. Putting her arms through Devin quickly closes it._

 _"_ _You ready?" Joe asked._

 _"_ _Yeah."_

 _Joe and Devin walks off with Joe`s hand on Devin`s lower back until they reach the car and he opens her door._

 _Driving in silence Joe finally speaks up when he asked._

 _"_ _Did you have fun?"_

 _"_ _I had a better time then I normally do at things like that."_

 _Joe laughs and glances over and asked. "Why can`t you just admit you had a good time?"_

 _"_ _If I had a good time I would`ve said it."_

 _Joe laughs again and says. "Yeah right."_

 _._

 _._

 _Pulling up in front of her hotel room Joe and Devin talked for a while when all of a sudden Joe just stares at her plump lips followed by Devin playfully biting them and looking at his when Joe leans over and cups her face causing her to lean in and letting go of her lip when all of a sudden her phone rings it was her cousin._

 _Devin leans back and pulls her phone out of her pocket and answers it._

 _"_ _Hello."_

 _"_ _Yeah I`m on my way to my room now." Devin says opening the car door._

 _"_ _Alright meet you there."_

 _"_ _Bye." Devin says hanging up the phone._

 _"_ _Thanks for inviting me tonight, I`ll see you tomorrow." Devin says as she stood outside his car just before she closed the door._

 _"_ _Bye doll face."_

 _As soon as he see her reach the elevator Joe bangs his fist against the steering wheel in anger._

 _"_ _S**t, s**t ,s**t!" Joe cursed beating his hands against the steering wheel._

 _Once Devin got inside of the elevator out of Joe`s sight she bangs her head against the wall cursing her cousin out in her head._

A:n/ Fun fact this last flash back was really supposed to be in the first story but at the last minute i decided i hated it and didnt post it and then after i was done with that story i kind of wished i did post that chapter... But i didnt which is why i decided to post it as a flash back... Any who like always thank you for reading this chapter and for the reviews and new fav! Dont forget to let me know what you thoughts about this chapter! In the next therapy session you will hear how the "Incident" affected their kids... If it affected them at all..


	11. Chapter 11

Opening up her brown eyes Devin reaches over to her dresser to grab her phone.

"Hello?" Devin said in a raspy tone.

"No I`m awake." Devin says causing Joe to open his eyes.

Sitting up and kicking her feet over the bed Devin said. "I`ll get right to it."

"Who is that?"

"No one go back to sleep." Devin says putting her hand over the bottom of the phone.

"Devin it`s three in the morning, tell who ever it is they can call back later."

"Dear go back to sleep." Devin says.

"Yeah, I`m here…" Devin says walking out of the room.

Grunting and turning over Joe mumbles. "It`s too damn early for all this."

After thirty minutes goes by Devin comes back and climbs into bed and goes back to sleep only to be woken around four and does the exact same thing and then comes back and then gets waken up a third time this time around five this time Joe quickly shoots up and reaches for the phone only for Devin to quickly grab it.

"Give me the phone!"

"Joe stop."

"Devin I`m not joking give it to me, this is way past disrespectful, and since you won't tell whoever it is to stop calling i will!"

Devin throws her hand up and answers it and walks out again.

After nearly an hour of her being gone Joe climbs out of bed in search for his wife.

Sitting at the desk in her office Devin turns her computer off and gets up and makes it half way to the other side when she could feel her heart beating out of her chest walking over to the wall Devin puts her head up against it and starts breathing in and out slowly when she feels a hand touch her shoulder.

"Dev, what are you doing in here?" Joe asked.

"What`s wrong?" Joe asked after Devin didn't respond.

"I`m dying and I can't breathe." Devin says in between deep breaths.

"You`re not dying you`re having another anxiety attack."

"My heart hurts, I can`t breathe." Devin says crying.

Grabbing her face with both of his hands Joe says. "Breathe in..."

Placing one of her shaking hand Devin says. "I can`t Joe I`m going to die."

"You`re not going to die babe just listen to me breathe."

Devin starts hyperventilating.

"You`re not listening to me, come on, in- now out."

"You`re going to get light headed if you don`t stop hyperventilating." Joe says.

Letting go of him Devin slides down the wall, Joe quickly gets down next to her. Devin`s anxiety quickly got worst.

"Joe I can`t do this anymore."

"Devin what do you want me to do, do you want me not to touch you, what do you want?"

"How can I make this better?" Joe asked.

"You can't."

"Just tell me what i can do."

"Hold me." Devin managed to push out.

Joe wraps his arms around her.

"Joe I…."

"Shh." Joe says as he pushes her loose curls out of her face.

Devin slowly stops crying, hyperventilating and shaking as she slowly falls asleep.

.

.

"Where`s tee tee?" Jenn asked.

"She`s sleeping."

"This late?"

"She had a long night, so we`re going to let her sleep alright?"

"Okay!"

"Uncle Joe?"

"Yes Jenny winny."

Jenn giggled and then asked

"Can we go play outside?"

"Sure." Joe says looking up.

"Yay!" Joelynn says running past her dad.

"You don't want to go outside with your sisters and cousin?" Joe asked.

"No."

Walking into the kitchen Devin asked.

"Why did you let me sleep this late now I have a head ache?"

"Sorry."

Walking over to her son Devin says.

"Come here Joseph."

"No!"

"Please you`re going to make mommy sad."

Pushing her away Joseph says. "No."

"Can mommy at least have a kiss?"

"NO!"

Walking back into the kitchen Joe says. "Jay give your mom a hug and a kiss."

Squatting down to his level Devin stretches her arms out as Joseph runs into her arms.

As Devin was giving her son a hug her phone vibrated on the counter. Looking over Joe see`s the name Wwe on her screen and answers it.

"Hello?" Joe says.

"Hey Joe is Devin there?"

Looking up at his wife and son across the room Joe asked. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to talk to her about the status on her current assignment."

Taking his eyes off his wife Joe turns and walks out of the kitchen and in a low voice says.

"Do not call her again."

"Excuse me?"

"Shane and Linda said we can both have this time off to heal and you`re making things worst by calling..."

"Don't call again." Joe continues.

"I`m sorry Joe I won't call again."

"Make sure that you don't."

Looking down Joe deletes the incoming call and turns to walk back in the kitchen Joe places her phone down undetected and then walks over to his son and wife and scoops his son up and pecks his wife`s lips and says

"I`m going to be in the back yard if you need me."

 _"_ _We`re going to get in trouble!" Devin whispers._

 _"_ _Not if we don`t get caught!" Keisha says._

 _"_ _How are we all going to sneak in the movies without getting caught?" Their cousin Stacy asked._

 _"_ _Easy."_

 _"_ _I think this is a bad idea let's just go back out and I`ll pay for everyone." Devin says._

 _"_ _Ooh don't be such a wet blanket!" Raven their other cousin says._

 _"_ _You`re going to wish I was a wet blanket when they arrest us!"_

 _"_ _Devin we're not going to get arrested because we`re not going to get caught!" Crystal says._

 _"_ _You`re saying that now but I feel it in my stomach we're going to get caught!"_

 _"_ _Gurl that`s just the pizza you ate earlier member you didn't chew it all the way?" Keisha said._

 _"_ _So are we going or not?" Diamond asked._

 _Each of her cousins look over at Devin._

 _Rolling her eyes Devin says. "Fine."_

 _"_ _I knew you had it in you Devi!" Rebecca says._

 _"_ _Shut up."_

 _Devin and her cousins one by one walk past security without getting caught, just as the thought they got away with it a man flashes his light in their eyes._

 _"_ _Can I see your tickets?"_

 _Devin turns to walk away when Kendall pushes her back._

 _"_ _Our tickets?" Keisha asked._

 _"_ _Yes your ticket."_

 _"_ _We don't have our ticket." Their cousin Dani says._

 _"_ _And why not?"_

 _"_ _Because we`re sneaking in!" Kim says happily._

 _Hearing her say that they all throw their hands up._

 _"_ _KIM!" Rayshaun yelled._

 _"_ _What?" Kim asked._

 _Looking over Devin noticed Keisha running so they all take off running._

 _._

 _._

 _Devin is sitting in the security room with her arms crossed extremely pissed._

 _"_ _Thanks a lot Keisha!" Bree says._

 _"_ _Whhhhat it aint my fault Kim`s slow as hell and tripped."_

 _"_ _Yeah and Samantha didn't have to go back for her!" Diamond said._

 _"_ _Yeah what eva happened to every man fo they self?" Keisha asked._

 _"_ _So yal was going to leave us?" Kim asked._

 _"_ _Not us you- we came back for Samantha!" Kendall says._

 _"_ _Yal messed up!"_

 _"_ _You got us caught, you tripped, you get taken to the security room…"_

 _"_ _Its only fair!" Devin said turning her head to Kim._

 _"_ _Alright your mom is here to pick you up."_

 _"_ _Oh gosh." Devin said banging her head on the wall._

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _What were yal thinking got me missin my show, I bet this was Devin`s idea wasn't it?" Devin`s mom asked._

 _"_ _No auntie it was mines." Kendall lied._

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _I talked everyone into it and they all went along with it except Devin, Devin told us not to and left."_

 _"_ _Then why is she back here with you?"_

 _"_ _We called her and told her to come back when we were running and when the security caught us we were with Devin so they thought she was in it too."_

 _"_ _Is this true?"_

 _Devin doesn't say anything._

 _"_ _Huh?" Devin`s mom asked._

 _"_ _Yes mom." Devin said._

 _"_ _Mmm, come on yal." Devin`s mom said turning and walking away._

 _"_ _You didn't…" Devin began to say._

 _"_ _Yes I did." Kendall says cutting her off_

 _"_ _I could have taken the punishment."_

 _"_ _I`m sure you could, but this time you don't have to." Kendall says walking off._

A:n/ How do you feel about Joe going behind Devin's back and telling her job to stop calling and deleting the call so she wouldnt know they called... How do you think she'll react when she finds out? Thank you all for reading and leaving reviews next chapter you will hear how this whole incident affected the kids..


	12. Chapter 12

The next day

"Hmm." Devin says looking down at her phone.

"What?" Joe asked.

Shaking her head Devin said. "Nothing."

"What?"

"Sarah- from creative department hasn't called me back, she had me working on something and I sent it to her, she said she would get right back to me and she never did."

"She called you about work when you`re supposed to be on vacation?" Joe asked playing as if he didn't already know.

Lifting her eyebrows Devin says. "I`d hardly call this a vacation, more like quieting my inner crazy."

"Whatever you call it she shouldn't have called, Shane and Linda said we could have it off."

"Yeah well."

"It`s just weird she said she would call around four yesterday and she never did." Devin continued.

"Well everything happens for a reason." Joe says quickly turning around.

"What did you do?"

Still not looking at her Joe says. "Nothing."

"Look at me and say that again."

Joe turns his head to look at her and repeats his self.

"Leati, you are such a bad liar."

"I sort of told her to stop calling, that every time she calls you she`s making it worst for you."

"Joe!"

"Devin, let`s not argue, we have to go."

"We're not going anywhere until we talk about this." Devin says folding her arms and blocks the door.

Joe laughs and asked.

"Do you realize i'm more than capable of not only moving you out of the way but also picking you up and carrying you to the car?"

"Joe I'm serious."

"Yeah yeah , I'm sure you are."

"Now lets go." Joe says as he reaches for his arm.

Devin slaps Joe's hand and says." Don't touch me!"

Joe sighs.

"Why did you do it?"

"I already told you why."

"You are emotionally unstable and they don't need to be calling bothering you while you're trying to heal."

"Emotionally unstable?" Devin asked.

Joe rolled his eyes and said.

"Sorry, bad choice of words."

"Joe this is my job, MY JOB ."

"Your only job right now is to fix yourself, f**k the creative team."

"Joe i understand why you did it, thank you, but don't do it again."

"Okay."

"Can we go now?" Joe asked.

Devin moved out the way.

Joe lied, if put in this situation again he would do the exact same thing with no regret. He honestly didnt feel bad or sorry for telling them not to call her again.

.

.

"This isn't a doctor's office." Jenn said as they walked in the room.

"It's a different kind of doctor office." Joe said.

"Hi I`m Dr. Carmichael." Dr. Carmichael said with her hand extended.

"I`m Joelynn." Joelynn said as they sat down on the couch.

"Did your Mommy tell you guys why you are here?"

"She's not my mom." Jenn said.

"Then who is she?"

"She's my tee-tee."

"She's visiting us for a couple of months." Devin said.

"Do you like visiting your tee-tee?"

"Yeah."

"So which one of you are Joelle?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"It's JoJo."

"I`m sorry- JoJo."

"That's me." JoJo says.

"What do know about what your step mom is going through?"

"My what?"

"Your step mom."

"Who?"

"Devin." Dr. Carmichael says.

"She not my step mom she just my mom." JoJo says.

"Well if she didn't give birth to she's not your mom."

"Galina isn't my mom she's my mother Devin is my mom." JoJo said.

"What's the difference?"

"Anyone can be a mother but not everyone can be a mom."

"What does a mom do that a mother doesn't?"

"A mother gives birth and that's it, but a mom loves you, takes care of you, feeds you and holds you when you're scared and had a nightmare and they check under your bed for monsters even though they already know there isn't really anything there."

"That was pretty wit for an ten year old." Dr. Carmichael says.

JoJo looks at her parents confused.

"Smart." Devin said.

"So JoJo what do you know about what your mom is going through?"

"I know that she's been having anxiety attacks since the incident."

"Do you know what happened, exactly?"

"Yeah, but we don't talk about it."

Devin looks like she wants to stop the conversation but Joe stops her.

"Why?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Because it makes me sad, and it makes Mama and Daddy sad too." JoJo said.

"And you don't want to make your mama and daddy sad?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

JoJo shakes her head no.

"Okay so we won't talk about it."

"Thank you."

"Have you seen your mom have an anxiety attack?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

JoJo nods her head.

"How did you feel?"

"Scared that's why I went to go get my daddy." JoJo said.

"What did she say to you when she was having her anxiety attack?"

"She put her head between her legs and told us to go back to our cousin Josh but I went and got my dad."

"Why did you get your dad?"

"So he could make her feel better, she said she was fine but I knew she wasn't."

"Did he make her better?"

"Yeah, he always does." JoJo says.

"Yeah because he's super man!" Joelynn said butting in.

"He is?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Mmhm and mommy's superwoman."

"But sometimes even superwoman has her breaking point that's why she has superman to make her feel better!" Joelynn said.

"And who makes superman feel better?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Superwoman DUH."

Dr. Carmichael chuckles and then says. "How do you feel since the incident?"

"Sometimes I feel real sad but I pretend to be happy."

Joe and Devin's face drops.

"And sometimes I cry when I go to sleep."

"Do you ever tell your mommy or daddy?"

Joelynn shakes her head no.

"Why not?"

"Because daddy has to worry about fixing mommy and mommy has to worry about keeping it together." Joelynn says.

"Sweetie." Devin begins to say as she grabs Joelynn's small hand.

"You know you can come to your mom and I no matter what and we will always listen, and we'll always have time for you, all of you." Joe says.

"Yeah but sometimes I just don't want to bother you."

"You're not bothering us baby, if there is something wrong then you have to tell us so we can make it better." Devin says.

"How else will we be able to protect you if we don't know anything is wrong?" Devin asked.

"I`m sorry next time I'll tell you." Joelynn says.

"Is that all?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Joelynn shakes her head and says.

"Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I can hear mommy crying…."

"I want to make her feel better but I don't know how..."

"When mommy`s sad it makes me sad..."

"I just wish everything can go back to how it was before, when everyone was happy." Joelynn continues.

"Can I talk to your parents alone?"

"Sure." Joelynn says.

"You can go in to that little room it has everything you can think of in there so you won't be bored while I talk to your mom and dad."

"Okay." JoJo says as Devin puts her little brother's hand in her hand.

They all watched the kids walk into the sound proof 'fun' room.

"I think you should look into getting them therapy too, this incident obviously hurt them just as much as it hurt you." Dr. Carmichael says.

"Okay." Devin says.

"We have a wonderful child phycologist here, I can give you her card if you like."

"Yeah that would be great." Joe says.

"Tell me how that felt hearing your kids say what they said.

"It broke my heart, I feel like a failure, my kids are hurting just as bad as I am and all I`m worried about is how I feel." Devin explains.

"You`re not a failure."

"That's how I feel."

"You know what I seen when I saw your kids?"

"Hmm."

"I seen very intelligent, healthy, loving, caring kids if you had failed none of that would be the case, yes they`re sad but they went through something, sorrow is a normal part of life, if they went through what they went through and didn't feel sad or any emotions I`d be concerned."

"Okay."

"So to a happier note tell me about your wedding and honey moon."

Devin gave her a closed smile and then said. "My wedding was perfect I couldn't have asked for a better wedding or someone better to marry."

 _"I`m getting married, I`m actually getting married." Devin said as she got her hair done._

 _"I know my little sister is finally getting married, and before me!" Jessica says._

 _"And who fault is that Darrell has purpose to you how many times?" Devin asked._

 _"I know I know."_

 _"I am so happy for you and the journey your about to start." Rebecca says wrapping her arms around her big sister._

 _"Thank you, and why aren't you two in your dresses yet?" Devin asked._

 _Rebecca, Diamond, Bree, Jessica, Trinity, her high school friends Ali and Naomi. And Joe's sisters Vanessa and Summer were her bride's maids while Rocky and Rachel shared the roll of her maids of honors._

 _"Mom hasn't dropped it off yet."_

 _Devin sighed._

 _"Dev it'll be here don't let mom ruin your day." Diamond said._

 _"Your right."_

 _._

 _._

 _"Nervous man?" Richard asked._

 _"Just a little. Joe says._

 _"You have nothing to worry about." Jon said._

 _"Yeah I know." Joe says._

 _Joe's groom's men included Richard, David, Matt, Josh, Jon, Colby, three old friends from college and his best man was Jonathon._

 _._

 _._

 _"Devin its time." Crystal said popping her head in the room with her hand over her eyes._

 _"Oh my gosh, my heart is beating hecka fast." Devin said grabbing Rachel's hand and placing it on her chest._

 _"I don't think I`ve ever seen you this nervous!" Rachel said._

 _"I don't think I`ve ever been this nervous!"_

 _"But it's a good nervous right?"_

 _"Right."_

 _Devin takes a deep breath and says. "Alright I`m ready."_

 _A:N/ Thank you for reading this chapter, don't forget to review how you felt about this chapters.._


	13. Chapter 13

_As Devin walked down the aisle Joe mouth went a gape she looked stunning the way her dress hugged her curves yet looked very elegant at the same time he didn't know it was possible for her to get any prettier._

 _"_ _I Leati Anoa'I affirm my love to you Devin as I invite you to share my life. You are the most beautiful, smart, and generous person I have ever known, and I promise always to respect you and love you with kindness, unselfishness and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together. I take you Devin to be my lawful wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live."_

 _"_ _You have been my best friend, mentor, playmate, confidant and my greatest challenge. But most importantly, you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I could ever thought possible… you made me a better person, as our love for one another is reflected in the way I live my life. So I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together." Devin said._

 _"_ _Do you Leati take Devin to be your lawful wedded wife?"_

 _"_ _I do."_

 _"_ _Do you Devin take Leati to be your lawful wedded husband?"_

 _"_ _I do."_

 _"_ _Then by the power invested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss your bride." The pastor says._

 _"_ _Eww." JoJo and Jenn said in unison._

 _"_ _Mr. and Mrs. Anoa`i!"_

 _._

 _._

 _The reception..._

 _"_ _If I could have everyone's attention!" Jessica says tapping her glass._

 _"_ _I just wanted to make a toast to the bride and groom, my little sister and new brother in law."_

 _"_ _I`m going to try not to cry, but Devin you know I love you, you couldn't have picked a better man to marry, I wish nothing but a lifelong of happiness because you deserve it." Jessica continues._

 _"_ _I just want to congratulate my little sister and let Joe know that if he ever hurts her I have a gun with his name on it in my garage- no but seriously take good care of her and I know you two will be happy." Richard says._

 _"_ _Gosh Devin we talked about this day since we were kids, given I thought I would be getting married first but that's what ever I`m just glad you finally found someone who loves you like Joe does I wish nothing but happiness for the two of you." Diamond says._

 _"_ _I don't really know Joe that well but I knew from the minute I seen you two together that it was meant to be, the way you glow when your with him, I have known you Devin for practically our whole life and I have never seen you smile the way you do when your around Joe, someone even mentions his name and you're smiling ear to ear, but I`m rambling now I just want to say congratulations and I hope nothing but happiness for the both of you." Naomi says._

 _"_ _You know as a kid I was never good with sharing, in preschool I use to go home with those little sticky notes about how my day went and it would always say Rachel is a great student but she needs to learn to share, I don't want to have to share my best friend with anyone its already bad enough that I have to share her with Raquel but if I have too I couldn't think of anyone better then you Joe."_

 _"_ _I just want to say welcome to the family sis." Matt says._

 _"_ _You know talking isn't my thing but I thought I could make an exception for my little sis, It feels like just yesterday you were bringing him to dinner and now you two are getting married and becoming a step-mom, I couldn't have been happier for you I love you to pieces Devin and I can't wait to see what the future has for you two." David says._

"So everything went according to plan?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"For me it did."

"So how was your honeymoon?"

Both Joe and Devin looked at each other and smiled.

"Ohh."

"No it's not that JoJo just kept calling every five minutes." Devin says.

 _"_ _You look beautiful in this dress but it would look better on the ground." Joe says as he aggressfully kissed her trying to unzip her dress._

 _"_ _It's stuck!" Joe says pulling back from kissing._

 _"_ _No it's not your just overly excited." Devin said putting her arm behind her back to unzip her dress._

 _"_ _You would be too if you could see you in that dress from my eyes."_

 _Devin smirked as she finally unzipped her dress. Joe's phone started to ring but they ignored it as they go back to kissing but his phone kept ringing causing Devin eyes to glance over at it._

 _"_ _Don't worry about it." Joe says as he silenced the phone without looking and continued to kiss but his phone kept ringing Joe seemed to have toned it out but Devin couldn't, she keep glancing over at it. Joe silenced it again and pulls the top of her dress down when his phone rings again._

 _"_ _Maybe you should answer it." Devin said as Joe began to kiss her on her neck._

 _"_ _Maybe I shouldn't."_

 _"_ _Joe."_

 _"_ _Everyone important knows we're on our honeymoon." Joe says as Devin picks his phone up and answers it._

 _"_ _Hello?" Devin said answering the phone._

 _"_ _Is my daddy there?"_

 _"_ _It's JoJo." Devin said passing Joe the phone._

 _"_ _Hello JoJo." Joe said walking over to the bed._

 _"_ _Yes I`m trying to have a good time, are you having a good time?"_

 _"_ _Okay well I`ll talk to you when I get home I love you pumpkin."_

 _"_ _Mmm." Joe growled as he pulled his new wife closer to him._

 _Just then his phone rang again, it was JoJo again._

 _"_ _Yes JoJo."_

 _"_ _Well daddy is very busy right now."_

 _"_ _It's okay I love you!"_

 _"_ _See you when I get home."_

 _"_ _Bye."_

 _"_ _Now where were we?" Joe asked._

 _"_ _I think we were right about here." Devin said sitting on his lap._

 _Joe phone rings again._

 _"_ _Yes."_

 _"_ _When are you coming home?"_

 _"_ _Next week."_

 _"_ _Aww but that's forever."_

 _"_ _I know baby but Devin and I need time to ourselves." Joe said._

 _"_ _Okay." JoJo says._

 _"_ _Now give the phone to your uncle."_

 _"_ _Hello?" Matt said._

 _"_ _Matt don't let her call me again I love her but I'm trying to enjoy our honeymoon."_

 _"_ _No problem bro."_

"Interesting- well that's all for today, um Joe can I talk to you for a minute alone?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Sure."

"I`ll just get the kids and wait in the car." Devin said.

.

.

"You`re not mad because what I said in there are you mommy?" Joelynn asked.

"Of course not."

"Sorry I took so long." Joe says snatching the door open.

"What was that about?" Devin asked as Joe and climbed into he car.

"Huh?" Joe asked as he quickly fastened his seat belt.

"What were you guys talking about when I left?"

"It was nothing really don't worry about it."

"Mmm."

"Daddy." Joelynn calls.

"Yes pumpkin."

"Can we stay up late and watch movies with you and mommy when we get home."

Joe looks over at his wife.

"Um..."

"Please Uncle Joe!" Jenn begged.

"Alright alright."

"Yay!" the girls cheered.

"Can I pick the movie?" JoJo asked.

"No I wanna pick the movie!" Joelynn yells.

"No I wanna pick it!" Jenn echoed.

"How about I`ll pick a movie." Joe suggested.

"Eww no!" JoJo says.

"Yeah you`ll pick a boring movie!" Joelynn says with her cousin agreeing.

"Well then I guess you three will have to agree on one movie or I get to pick."

"Any thing will be better then what you pick uncle Joe." Jenn sassed.

"I`m sure you believe that." Joe says as they pull up in front of their house.

"Can I unlock the door daddy?" JoJo asked.

"No I want to unlock the door!" Jenn says.

"No me!" Joelynn yells.

Taking the keys out of the ignition Joe says.

"Who ever catches the keys can open the door." and tosses them back.

Each girl dives in with no mercy, looking back at the chaos he caused Joe chuckles only for Devin to nudge him and say.

"See what you started."

"Wwwhat?"

Dangling the keys above her head Joelynn says.

"I got it I got it!"

Only to have them snatched out her hand by her older cousin who mocks her and says.

"I got it I got it!"

Only for it to be snatched out of her hand by her older cousin who quickly opens the door and jumps out of the parked car only to have her little sister to jump on her back then her younger cousin jump on her back.

"Hey hey hey!" Joe says laughing.

"Girls be careful!" Devin says.

"And Jenn come help Joseph out of his car seat."

"Aww man!" Jenn says climbing off her cousin.

Through the rearview mirror Joe watches his niece help her cousin out of the car then slam the door. Devin takes a deep breath when Joe reaches over and grabs her hand causing her to look down then back at him. Bringing her hand to his lips Joe kisses it and then looks up at her with his gray eyes and asked.

"How are you feeling?"

Letting out a sigh Devin says. "Fine."

"That sigh doesn't sound fine."

"I`m just trying to figure out what to do next."

"What do you mean?"

"I need a new game plan, because this one isn't working out."

"What plan is that?"

"I was only thinking about my self."

"Sometimes you have too."

"Not when you have a family to take care of."

"Devin let me take care of this..."

"Joe..."

"Will get through this, me, you, the kids all of us we just have to take it a day at a time, we can`t look at the big picture just yet." Joe explained.

"You know in the mist of this I never once asked you how you felt, it was just about me me me me."

"I`m fine, sweetie, you don`t have to worry about me." Joe says rubbing his hand on her cheek.

Knocking on the window JoJo asked.

"Are you guys coming in?"

Joe leans over and pecks his wife on the lips and says

"Yeah will be right there."

JoJo walks away and Joe says.

"One step at a time, if it were easy to get over the anxiety and the incident you would have been over it."

"I know."

"I just don't want you to set yourself up for something unrealistic."

"Being there for my kids is unrealistic?"

"No but expecting the anxiety and pain to go away in a matter of minutes is."

"I can't be here for my kids and take car of myself?"

"You can but..."Joe began to say.

"I'm going in now." Devin said opening the door.

.

.

"Mommy." Joelynn says looking up from laying on her moms lap in the family room.

"Yes."

"I love you."

Devin smile and says.

"I love you more."

Closing her eyes as Devin played with her hair Joelynn asked.

"You know you`re the best mommy ever right?"

"I do now."

"Good and don't forget it."

"You`re so smart some times."

"Only some times?"

"No all the time." Devin replied.

"Thanks, I get it from you."

Devin sends her another smile and asked.

"Don't you want to help pick a movie out?"

"Oh yeah!" Joelynn says jumping off the couch.

A:n/ thank you all for reading this chapter and for reviewing so far it means a lot... Don't forget to tell me how you felt about this chapter


	14. Chapter 14

Devin, Joe the girls and Joseph were all sitting on the couch watching hotel Transylvania 2 it was the only movie the kids could agree on, eating m&m's and popcorn when Joe looks down and noticed the kids were all a sleep.

"I think they're sleep." Joe says nudging Devin.

"Should we put them in bed or leave them here?"

Joe looks at them and says. "Let's put them in bed."

"You take Joelynn and I take Joseph and then we come back for Jenn and JoJo?" Devin asked.

"Sounds like a plan." Joe Says as Devin stands up with Joseph in her hand.

"You got him?" Joe asked standing up with his daughter in his arms.

.

.

"I want to sleep with Lynn." Jenn says waking up in her uncle's arms.

"Alright just go back to sleep." Joe says pushing her head back down.

"Yeah me too." JoJo says.

"Alright." Devin says.

.

.

Placing JoJo into Joelynns small bed that they insisted on sleeping in and then turns to walk away.

"Mommy." Joelynn calls rubbing her eyes.

"Yes sweetie." Devin says turn back to her daughter.

"I thought we were watching the movie."

"The movies over."

"Did i fall a sleep?"

"You did, all of you did."

"Even you and daddy?"

Devin chuckles and say.

"Everyone except me and dad"

"How did the movie end?"

"I don't want to spoil it for you."

"Does that mean you weren't paying attention?" Joelynn asked

Devin laughs and says.

"That's excatly what that meant, can't get anything past you can i?"

"Nope!"

Looking up and seeing her dad at the door Joelynn yells.

"Daddy!"

"Shh." Joe says as he walks a side his wife wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

"I thought you were going to lay down?" Devin asked.

"I thought you were going too to." Joe replied.

"We were talking." Joelynn says.

"Oh were you?"

Nodding her head Joelynn says. "Yes we were."

"Then i will leave you two to that." Joe says as he lets his hand run down her then letting his hand slowly run across around her butt causing Devin to look up at him to which he winks and then walks away.

Turning her head back to her daughter Devin asked.

"SO- what were we talking about?"

Joelynn yawns and asked

"Can we finish this talk tomorrow?"

Running her hand across her soft cheek Devin says.

"Sure."

.

.

Pulling back from their kiss Devin pulls Joe`s shirt over his head and then snatched his hair tie from around his hair letting his hair fall past his shoulder. There was something about him having his hair down while they were intimate that drove her crazy. Standing up from his lap Devin tugs on his pants and pulling them completely off as Joe`s eyes watched her body it had been so long since the last time he saw her with out any clothes on so he was absolutely loving this moment.

Pulling her back to his lap Joe immediately crashes his lips back against hers and then turning around and placing her on the bed as they continued to kiss. Slowly taking his kisses from her lips to her jawline then to her neck then to the rest of her body. Coming back up Joe kisses her neck again he whispers in her ear.

"You have no Idea how good you look right now."

 _._

 _._

"JoJo promise me you will never go away." Joelynn whispered.

"I`m not going anywhere." JoJo said.

"Good."

"Now go to sleep."

"Do you love me?"

"Of course you're my sister." JoJo said.

"Then can I tell you something?" Joelynn asked.

"What is it?"

"Joey dropped your tooth brush in the toilet, but don't worry I got it out."

"WHAT?!" JoJo said turning around quickly.

"Gnight!" Joelynn said.

 _"Devin what are you doing?" Kendall asked walking up to her cousin who is on her knee`s crawling._

 _"Shhh get down!" Devin says snatching her cousin down._

 _"What are you doing?" Kendall asked as she`s being snatched down._

 _"Okay so I mentioned to my roommate how I hadn't seen Kim in like forever…."_

 _Kendall and Devin went to school together, while Keisha, Diamond and Rayshaun went to another school in a couple cities over while Samantha and Bree went to the same school for fashion and photography while Crystal went to some cosmetology school with Kim who studied makeup but was also studying business so she took classes at the school Kendall and Devin went to too._

 _"So why are we on the ground Devin?!"_

 _"I was getting there."_

 _"So she tells me Kim`s been prostituting and I tell her I don't believe her so she told me where she be at….."_

 _"So we`re spying on Kim?" Kendall asked._

 _"I wouldn't have used those words but yeah!"_

 _Shaking her head at her cousin Kendall says. "Devin."_

 _"She`s leaving!" Devin says jumping up._

 _Running around to the driver's side Devin looks at her cousin and asked._

 _"Are you coming?"_

 _Rolling her eyes Kendall opens the passenger`s door and climbs in._

 _"We better make it back before my next class!"_

 _"Don't worry about it we will." Devin says driving off._

Laying in her bed Devin looks over her shoulder to see her husband sleep moving his hand from around her waist, sitting up and kicking her feet over the bed Devin grabs her robe covering her naked body and making her way out of the room.

Walking into her sons room Devin walks over to his bed and watches him sleep for a while then leaned over and kissed him and turns to walk away. Walking over to the girls room she walks in and pulls the cover over them kissed each girl.

Watching their angelic faces sleep Devin sighs and asked her self.

"How am i going to do this?"

After a few minutes of watching them Devin tightens her robe and turns to makes her way back to her room. Standing in the door way Devin watches her husband sleep when Joe turns around and asked.

"Do you always watch me sleep?"

Devin gives him a close smile.

"Come to bed."

Without saying anything she walks back to bed and climbs in and lays her head on his chest as she fell asleep.

A:n Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far! Quick question after today do you think things will take a turn for the good? Or do you think things will remain the same or get worst?


	15. Chapter 15

_"He looks soo good." Kim says twirling her long black hair._

 _"You know he's in a relationship right?" Devin asked._

 _"Yeah so."_

 _Uh-Uh I know that look that is the sixth guy this month with a girlfriend that you went after someone's going to kick you're a**!" Crystal said._

 _"Yeah right." Kim said._

 _"Devin come with me!" Kim says dragging Devin with her._

 _"So we agree if someone tries to fight her again we're going to stay out of it?" Kendall asked._

 _"Of course." Diamond said._

 _Crystal snickered and says. "Poor Devin." And walks away._

 _._

 _._

 _"Hey there Jarvis." Kim said twisting her hair._

 _"Hey." Jarvis says rolling his eyes._

 _"Oh hi Devin." Jarvis says turning his attention to her as a way of ignoring Kim._

 _"Hi." Devin says shyly._

 _"Aren't you on the football team?" Kim asked bringing the attention back to her._

 _"Uh yeah- quarterback." Jarvis says._

 _"Mmm- impressive." Kim says sitting next to him._

 _"Thanks."_

 _"So what are you doing later on?"_

 _"Listen Kim I have a girlfriend."_

 _"Who said I was hitting on you?" Kim asked scooting closer to him and placing her hand on his lap._

 _"Just a feeling." Jarvis says scooting over and pushing her hand over._

 _"Do you have a car?"_

 _"Uh yeah a 2004 Chevy."_

 _"Can I see it?" Kim asked._

 _"Sure."_

 _"This is my cue to go now." Devin says turning to walk away._

 _"No come with us."_

 _Devin puts her hand on her chest and says. "Excuse me- what are you asking me to do?"_

 _Kim rolls her eyes and says. "Just keep watch."_

 _._

 _._

 _"You promise not to ever speak of this moment again?" Jarvis asked pulling his pants up in the back seat of his car._

 _"It`s our little secret." Kim said putting on his shirt._

 _"What are you doing?"_

 _"Keeping a souvenir." Kim said with a smirk._

 _"Take it off!"_

 _"If you insist." Kim said sitting on his lap taking her shirt off._

 _"No Kim."_

 _"Oh come on."_

 _Just then there was a knock on the window looking around Kim's shoulder Jarvis noticed his girlfriend and six other girls._

 _"Jarvis get you're a** out the car right now!" His girlfriend yelled with her hand on her hip waving her finger._

 _"And who are you?"_

 _"Umm." Devin says nervously._

 _"You know i was just sitting on the car its so com..."_

 _"GET OUT THE CAR B***H!" Lupe yelled banging her hand on the window quickly turning her attention back to the car._

 _Kim sat there in fear when Lupe snatches the door open and pulls her out._

 _"Give me one reason I shouldn't kick your white a**!" Lupe said._

 _"I didn't know he had a girlfriend!" Kim said throwing her hands up._

 _"Yeah right b***h- you said that last week when you were sleeping with my man!" Another girl said._

 _"And the week before with mines!" Another girl said._

 _"And mines!"_

 _"So let me see if i got this right, yal just got together and created an army to confront her?" Devin asked laughing._

 _Each girl sends Devin a dirty look and one girl says._

 _"Anyways."_

 _"So you do this all the time- this is some kind of hobby for you?" Lupe said pushing Kim._

 _"No I swear!"_

 _"So you calling us liars?" The first girl said walking up to her like she wanted to fight._

 _"No."_

 _"So you just lied to me?!" Lupe asked._

 _"No." Kim said as all the girls who boyfriends she slept with cornered her and Devin._

 _"You know I have absolutely nothing to do with this, so I`m going to go." Devin says turning to walk._

 _Stopping her Lupe says. "Uh- no you`re not going anywhere."_

 _"Devin?" Kim calls._

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Do you know how to fight?"_

 _"We`re about to find out." Devin says as a girl grabs her by her shirt_

 _"What are you doing?" Diamond said snatching Lupe back by her arm._

 _"Di this has nothing to do with you!"_

 _"This has everything to do with me, if you think yal gonna jump my sister and Kim, yal have another thing coming!" Diamond said._

 _Seeing the rest of Devin`s family walking up each girl starts to back up knowing they didn't want any of that._

 _"I wish I could say that was the last non single guy she messed with but that would be a bold face lie Kim had slept with over fifty non single guys and that was just in high school could you imagine how many in college- after college, even though that wasn't the last for Kim it definitely was the last time I played watch out for her."_

"We got in a lot of crap because of Kim." Devin explains.

Devin laughs and said. "So much crap."

"Are you still close to her?"

Devin shakes her head no.

"What happen?"

"Well we were never super close, but…" Devin pauses.

"I don't even know how to go about explaining what happened." Devin continued.

After another quick pause Devin says. "Kim- wanted Joe, I had Joe she was jealous and that`s what broke up our friendship."

"She eventually attacked me, with two other coworkers."

"Did they go to jail?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"They did, I don't think, they got what they deserved Nikki and Eva only got two years Kim got five."

"Why didn't they get maximum sentence?"

"Nikki and Eva pled guilty."

"What about the third one Kim?"

Devin shrugs and says.

"The whole thing was a joke, instead of the trial being about them attacking me Kim`s lawyer turned it into trying to make me look like I was the evil one, like I was this superficial person who got everything that I ever wanted and every guy Kim had shown interest into since I`ve met her until Joe I took from her and she just snapped."

"He twisted stories to make it benefit her." Devin continued.

"Explain."

"Well there was this time I asked Joe to rate Kim, and he rated her like a 9.5 or 9 in a three quarters or something like that and he said she was really pretty, her lawyer tried to make it seem like they were into each other and I was something like a homewrecker and broke that up, even if that were the case how does that justify what they did- they broke my ribs in five places they broke my spine but all they cared about was Kim supposedly liking Joe."

"What were the charges brought against them?"

"Assault, battery and attempted murder."

 _"Devin Lobdell may look like the innocent beautiful girl next door but underneath it all she`s cocky, self-centered, and shes entitled. she knows all she has to do is flash her pearly whites and let her pretty face do the rest…." Kim`s lawyer says._

 _"Now I`m going to need you to close your eyes, let your mind take you back to high school, you`re a little nerdy, a little over weight, guys don't really like you but you get this one guy that you know is completely out of your league attention, things are going well you both like each other you plan to move forward with each other but all of a sudden some beautiful cheerleader with the total package comes out of nowhere and takes him from you."_

 _"How would you feel, mad, upset, angry?"_

 _"What if it happened a second time or a third time, or every time you get a guy here comes this same girl to take your man, not because she just so happens to like him too but because she can, imagine that person is your closes friend…." Kim`s lawyer continued._

 _"Your honor what does this have to do with his client assaulting my client?" Devin`s lawyer asked._

 _"Get to your point." The Judge says._

 _"I was getting there." Kim`s lawyer says._

 _"Like I was saying imagine that person was your closes friend, I`m not saying what my client did was right, because it wasn't but, what you need to understand is my client snapped, maybe she went there to confront her, maybe she went there to fight we don't know, but what we do know is that things got out of control and someone was left badly hurt, when my client seen her she didn't see her childhood friend she saw a woman who took everything she ever wanted away from her and she snapped, I`m not saying she shouldn't face a consequence she just shouldnt face the maximum time."_

 _._

 _._

 _"That was very pretty picture the defender painted of Kim and Devin to bad most of it was true, before I bring the case back to what it`s actually about, I will like to poke a hole in that nice little bubble he created."_

 _"The defender was correct when he stated she was and is beautiful but everything else was a bold face lie Devin was the one with the low self-esteem Devin was fifty pounds overweight that`s hardly the picture he was trying to create."_

 _Holding up a picture Devin`s Lawyer says. "This was Devin in high school, isn't she adorable?"_

 _Putting the picture down Devin's lawyer then asked. "Joe did you tell Kim you thought she was attractive?"_

 _"I did." Joe replied._

 _"Why?"_

 _"Devin asked me to rate her and I did."_

 _"Did you ever have feelings for her?"'_

 _"Her as in Kim?" Joe asked._

 _"Yes."_

 _Joe laughs a little and says. "No."_

 _"Not even a little, why not?"_

 _"Because I was secretly trying to win over Devin."_

 _"Now that I manage to poke holes into everything the defender has said let me get into what this is actually about."_

"How were you able to stay calm while they demolished your character?"

Devin shrugged and rolled her eyes and said. "I kep telling myself they were going to get what they deserved and if in the process someone spit on my name it was okay because at the end they were going to be locker up for years."

 _"My client's spine was broken, her ribs were broken in five places, she was in acoma for a week, where they had to revive her twice... twice you seen the pictures her face was almost unrecognizable and the defender is trying to justify it by saying she went after a guy who she liked? Joe didn't want her you heard that today, Kimberly Kingsley was jealous of my client because she was everything she wasnt and could never be so she tried to take it from her, the Defender kept bringing up the fact that Devin is beautiful, being pretty is not a crime but attacking someone and almost killing them is..._

 _._

 _._

 _"We the Jury find Kimberly Anne Kingsley guilty of all charges."_

 _"Kimberly, you will serve a minimum of five years in prison." The judge says._

"How did you feel when the judge said how long they got?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I felt cheated, they took so much from me it didn't seem fair, I had to retire early because of them, I almost lost my life because of them, for so long I was afraid of walking places by myself because of them, I started questioning my relationship with everyone because of them and all they got was two and five years?"

"Do you hate them?"

Shaking her head Devin says. "No, I know I probably should but I can`t let her or them have any power over me."

"After all i been through with those girls especially Nikki and Eva i just wanted to win once."

"What else did they do?

"What didn't they do- they bullied me my entire career they spiked my drink with a date rape drug- a date RAPE drug and they had the nerve to be like i didnt mean blah blah blah what the hell did they think was going to happen they drugged me and then left me in the mist of a bunch of creepy a** men."

"Did anything happen to you."

Devin shook her head and said.

"No, thank God Joe got me out of there before anything could happen."

"So with this on their record why were they even given a pled bargain?"

"I never went to the police."

"Why not?"

"I was told not to by the company."

Dr. Carmichael arched her eyebrow and asked.

"Why would a company do that?"

"All they cared about was protecting their company no good would come out of them openly firing them or me going to the police about this, the media would jump all over this and they already had a bad image of us, and stephanie couldn't have that."

"How could they keep this a secret?"

Devin shook her head and laughed a little and said.

"That company was so good at keeping secrets they covered sooo much, if people knew what that company kept no one would watch the show."

"Why are you with them still?"

"They're under new management Shane and Linda took control of the business, Vince and Stephanie are no longer affiliated with it."

"On a happier note, how are your kids?"

"They`re fine they`re starting they're therapy."

"That's good, how are you feeling?"

Devin opens her mouth to answer when Joe responds.

"I think shes doing alot better, i know its only been twenty four hours since the last therapy session but i think between all these sessions and the last one with the girls really helped her, she use to have multiple attacks a day, but she hasn't had one in a couple of days, so whatever it was it's working." Joe explains.

"I'm glad to hear that, i wasn't really sure how she would take that so I'm glad it was recived it well."

"So am i, I know it was good for the girls to express how they were feeling but i thought it would make her anxiety worst, i knew that i was able to receive what they said and help them get through this too but because the state of mind she's in i wasn't sure she could handle that too."

"Devin do you agree with what Joe said, you're doing better?"

Devin gives her a fake smile and nods her head.

.

.

Washing the dishes after dinner as the kids ran around the kitchen and Joe collected the plates from off the table.

Walking behind her as he placed the plates on the counter Joe kisses her on neck and says.

"I'm proud of you."

Walking to the side of her Joe says.

"We're actually moving forward with this and getting back to our normal lives."

Devin flashes him the same fake smile she gave her therapist and says.

"I'll be right back."

As she walked away Joe grabs her arm causing her to turn back around.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Giving her a look that said he didn't believe what she was saying Joe says.

"Devin."

"Joe I'm fine, i have to do something real quick, just stay with the kids I'll be right back."

.

.

Walking into her walk in closet Devin slides down and quickly puts her head in between her legs as she tried not to let her anxiety get the best of her, finally pulling herself together Devin knew that if hiding this from her entire family including Joe meant they would get the healing they deserved even if it meant she never did, then that was what she had to do. Yeah she would be back pedaling a bit for her but at least her family was happy and right now that was her top concern.


	16. Chapter 16

"You know you`ll never really get past it unless you talk about it." Dr. Carmichael says.

"I don`t want to talk about it, I don't want to talk about the incident."

Throwing her hand up Dr. Carmichael says.

"I know you`re not ready, that`s not what I was saying.

"Then what are you saying?" Devin asked.

"We`re going to do an exercise."

"Okay." Devin says.

"First I`m going to need you to lay your head on Joe`s lap."

"Okay." Devin says as she reaches for his hand and slowly lays back.

"Now close your eyes."

Devin closed her eyes.

"Now I`m going to mention a situation that accord in your life and I want you to mentally take yourself back to that very moment and I want you to confront it."

"Okay."

"Take yourself back to the day your cousin talked you into sneaking into the movies…"

"You didn't want to sneak in did you?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"No."

"So tell her."

"I did."

"This time put your foot down and don't do it."

"Okay." Devin said.

"Say it out loud..."

"I know it feels silly but just do it anyways."

"Keisha don't want to sneak in to the movies."

"Come on Devin you`re such a goody good you never do anything bad live a little!" Dr. Carmichael says imitating Keisha.

"I`m not going to do it." Devin says.

"You hella scary!"

Devin opens her eyes and stares at her therapist.

Dr. Carmichael laughs and says.

"Close your eyes we`re going to do two more."

Taking a deep breath Devin says. "Okay."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah."

"Okay take me back to the time your mom made scrub the floor with your tooth brush and face towel."

Joe could feel her tense up on his lap. As Joe rubs her arm Devin gets a little less tense.

"Tell your mom it was an honest accident you didn't mean to over sleep and you didn't mean to bleach her red shirt."

"Mom."

"What do you want Devin?" Dr. Carmichael asked pretending to be her mom.

"I don't think it`s fair that I have to clean the whole house on my knee`s with my tooth brush for something that was an accident." Devin said.

"Well life`s not fair sweetie now take your a** in that bathroom and start scrubbing."

"Mom why do you hate me so much?"

"I don't have to answer you now take you're a** in that bathroom."

A single tear drops down Devin`s cheek struggling to sit up Joe helps her to sit up when Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Are you okay Devin?"

"Yeah, that just felt a little too real."

"We can stop if you like."

"No, we only have one more left."

Laying back in her husband's lap Devin says.

"Alright."

"The day of the incident- go back to that place."

"I can`t do it…"

"I can`t do it, I can`t go back there I can`t." Devin said freaking out

"I won't."

"It`s okay you don`t have too." Dr. Carmichael said not expecting her to react like that.

"No you don't understand Dr. Carmichael I can`t relive that I can`t …" Devin began to say before her breathing pattern started to change then slowly her heart started beating really fast.

"Devin." Dr. Carmichael calls.

"I cant go back there, I just won`t."

"I can`t go back to that day."

"Devin sweetie, you don't have to ." Joe says placing his hand on her lap.

Finally calming down Devin says

"I`m sorry."

"Don`t apologies." Dr. Carmichael says.

"I just can`t bring my self to relive that."

"And you don't have too, so we`re going to move past this.."

"Your cousins mean a lot to you?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"They do were raised close." Devin says

"You must have gotten in a lot of trouble together huh?"

"Not in a lot but some."

"Tell me about it."

 _"_ _Okay Devin you`re going to knock on the door and then you`re going to run and then we`re going to throw eggs at them and their house." Keisha explained._

 _"_ _Why are we doing this again?" Kim asked._

 _"_ _Because it`s fun!"_

 _"_ _Okay go Devin!" Diamond said pushing her._

 _"_ _I`m going to regret this, I`m really going to regret this." Devin says to herself._

 _Devin knocks on the door lightly._

 _"_ _You gotta knock harder!" Keisha yells._

 _Devin knocks a little harder._

 _"_ _They`re not answering!" Devin turned around and yelled._

 _"_ _Knock again!" Crystal yelled._

 _"_ _Knock on the window!" Samantha yelled._

 _Knocking on the window Devin knocked a little too hard and her fist goes through the window causing the owner of the house to come to the door. Hearing them coming Devin snatched her bleeding hand and took off running giving the owner the view of her back._

 _"_ _They're coming!" Devin yelled as she ran with her bleeding hand in her other hand._

 _"_ _GO!" Raven their cousin yelled as they all threw the eggs and then taking off running with Devin leaving them in the dust._

 _"_ _Who`s house was that?!" Kim asked._

 _"_ _I dunno!" Keisha said._

 _"KEISHA!"_

 _Keisha laughs and asked. "Whhhat?"_

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _Thanks a lot Devin you had to stop!" Samantha says._

 _"_ _My hand is bleeding what did you want me to do keep running and bleed to death?!" Devin asked._

 _"_ _That be nice."_

 _"_ _When mama gets here we`re going to get killed!" Rebecca says._

 _"_ _Alright guys we can`t contact your parents looks like you`re going to have to go into public population."_

 _"_ _In there?" Kendall asked pointing._

 _"_ _That`s the public population."_

"How long did you guys stay in the juvenile hall?"

"I started crying so we didn't actually have to go in there." Devin said with a chuckle.

"But we did have to pay for the window and scrub the eggs off the house and pay for a paint job for their car." Devin continued.

 _._

 _._

Rolling over Joe heard Devin sniffing.

Still half a sleep Joe asked. "What`s wrong babe?"

Sniffing again Devin says. "I`m fine go back to sleep."

Sitting up on his arm Joe says. "Tell me what`s wrong."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not, is this about what happened earlier at therapy?"

"I said I'm fine."

"Devin lets not go back to shutting people out."

"I'm not shutting you out."

"If you say so."

With her back still towards him refusing to look at him, Devin remains quiet.

"Well, I'm going back to sleep."

"Good night." Devin says finally speaking


	17. Chapter 17

Next day...

"So where's Joe?" Rocky asked.

"Out." Devin replied.

"And he left you here?" Rachel asked placing her hand on her chest. "Alone?"

"I'm not a child, i don't need to be watched."

"Does he know that?" Rocky asked.

"Yeah, he hasn't left your side since you guys took time off from work."

"I'm surprised he doesn't follow you to the bathroom." Rachel continues.

"He's just trying to help, he's worried thats all."

"And what stopped him from worrying?" Rocky asked.

"He thinks I'm doing better."

"Are you-doing better?"Rocky asked.

Devin sways her head back and forth and then replied "Not really."

" Then why does he think you're getting better?"

"Because he's not seeing me have the anxiety attacks." Devin replied.

"Why?" Rocky asked.

"Because I`m hiding them from him."

"Devin, that`s so selfish." Rachel says.

"No Rach, for once during this whole thing I`m not big selfish."

"Let me tell you why you`re being selfish, you`re letting Joe and I`m sure your therapist think that everything is fine, and your healing when you`re not."

"Wanna know why it`s not, did you know Lynn and JoJo cries their self to sleep at night, did you know every time they see me having anxiety attack it hurts them, did you know they hear me crying late at night, and that just breaks their little hearts."

"Who said that?"

"THEY DID- and for these past couple of days with them in therapy and me hiding my anxiety they`ve been doing soo much better, so if me being alone in this Is making them better then I don't see why hiding it is a problem." Devin says.

"I`ll tell you how it`s a problem what happens if they walk in on you having an anxiety attack?"

"You don't think it`s going affect them worst then because they thought you were better?" Rachel continued.

"They`re not going to find out."

"You don`t know that, you know what`s going to happen when they do, they`re not going to trust you anymore, they`re going question everything you tell them, they`re going to think you`re a liar!"

"Tell me how you really feel." Devin says.

"Devin."

"Rachel I know my family and we`re going to be alright, none of that`s going to happen, I got this."

"But..."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, change the subject."

"So what are we doing here again?" Rocky says

"I can`t just want to see my two best friends?" Devin asked.

"You can but…"

"I need help moving this bed, I can't sleep on it anymore"

"What is Mr. save everything going to say when he finds out you replaced your mattress?" Rocky asked.

Devin shrugged and then said.

"Hopefully the new bed will be here before Joe even gets home and he`ll never know."

"How are they going to get in?" Rocky questioned.

"Well I was hoping the queens of the tag team would watch the kids today since they don't have therapy today."

"Mmm, that`s what you wanted."

Devin smiled.

"Well you know it`s never a problem for us to watch them soo." Rachel says.

"Well besides this what`s new?" Rocky asked.

"I`ve been emotionally eating a lot lately."

"Well depressed people often emotionally eat soo." Rachel says.

"I`m a lot of things but depressed isnt one of them."

"If you say so."

.

.

 _"_ _Excuse me do you guys have a bathroom?" Devin asked walking into the building._

 _"_ _Uh yeah." The man said staring at her._

 _A little creeped out Devin asked. "Can you tell me where it`s at?"_

 _Shaking his head the man says. "I`m sorry it's right over there."_

 _"_ _Thanks." Devin says walking to the bathroom._

 _Devin walks in the bathroom and does her business and walks back out._

 _"_ _Thanks again." Devin says turning to walk out._

 _"_ _Wait." The man said._

 _Devin closed her eyes and then turned back around and said._

 _"_ _Yes." Giving him a fake smile._

 _"_ _Sorry about staring at you earlier."_

 _"_ _Its cool." Devin said turning to walk away._

 _"_ _It`s just you have a really nice look."_

 _"_ _Thanks."_

 _"_ _Have you ever thought about a career in professional wrestling?"_

 _"_ _Sorry can`t say I have."_

 _"_ _Do you know what it is?"_

 _"_ _Yeah I watch Wwe all the time." Devin replied._

 _"_ _What do you have planned for the rest of the day?"_

 _"_ _Um nothing I guess I was just going to drive back home."_

 _"_ _You live here in Sacramento?"_

 _"_ _Fairfield." Devin says._

 _"_ _Oh -well, since you don't have anything to do you should try it out and if you don't like it you don't have to ever come back."_

 _Devin twists her mouth and says. "Fine."_

 _"_ _This way." The man says._

 _"_ _Hey Rachel."_

 _"_ _Yeah coach." Rachel says turning around._

 _._

 _._

"So I don't know if Joe told you this orr…" Dr. Carmichael began to say.

"Tell me what?" Devin asked cutting her off looking over at Joe.

"I was going to but I thought it would be better if I told her here." Joe says.

"Okay what's going on?!" Devin asked.

"Calm down babe its nothing that bad."

"The fact that you said nothing 'that' bad alarms me."

"We just thought it would benefit you if you had a session with your mom and siblings." Joe said.

Devin lets Joe hand go and readjust herself and says. "Okay when are they coming?"

"Tomorrow." Joe said.

"Where are they staying?"

"Not with us if you don't want."

"It's not a matter of what I want, it's about what you told them." Devin says.

"I didn't invite them to stay with us."

"Good."

"Now I didn't ask Joe about this but I think it will be a good idea if your kids came to this session too." Dr. Carmichael says.

"Not going to happen." Devin says without thinking it over.

"What why not?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I don't want Beverly anywhere near my kids."

"You called her Beverly."

"What you expected me to call her mom?" Devin asked.

"I guess not, I see where JoJo got that from."

"She messed me up I`m not giving her a chance to do the same to my kids!" Devin says.

"If you don't want them to come in contact its fine."

"Are we done now?"

"Yes."

"Good." Devin said slapping her lap and getting up.

.

.

"What's wrong?" Joe asked glancing over at Devin who's breathing pattern started to change.

Realising Joe noticed how fast her chest was moving Devin grabs the door attempting to open it but her shaking hands prevented her from doing so.

"Devin?" Joe called looking back down noticing she was trying to open the door in the moving car he pulls over to the side of the road.

"Devin what's wrong?" Joe asked placing his hand on her shaking shoulder.

After coming to terms that she wasn't getting out of the car and he already knew she was having an anxiety attack she lays her head on the dash board.

Joe sighs and unbuckles his seat belt and turns to Devin and unbuckles her seat belt.

Placing his hand on her back he rubs her back as she slowly pulls herself together.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Joe asked whipping her tears with his thumb.

"I`m not ready to see my mom, I promised myself when I left California that I would never see her again."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, we can go back and tell Dr. Carmichael and I can call Richard and tell them not to come."

"No its too late, she's probably gone and there probably half way here." Devin says.

"It doesn't matter all I care about is you and what you want."

"It's fine, let's just go."

"Devin, you just had an anxiety attack because I said your mom is coming to see you."

"I didn't say 'I' was fine I said 'it's' fine."

"It's not fine if you're not fine." Joe said.

"Just leave it alone." Devin said.

"Fine." Joe said pulling back into traffic.

"Are you still up for dinner at my parents?"

"Sure."

Glancing down Joe says.

"If you don't want to go we don't have to, I'll just tell my mom we couldn't make it or I'll just make up a reason ..."

"I said sure which means I'm okay with going."


	18. Chapter 18

"Whats up." Dwayne said.

"Hi." Devin said as her and Joe approached the table.

"I didn't think you would make it." Patricia said.

"You told me how important this dinner was, why wouldn't we make it?" Joe asked.

Patricia shrugs.

"Oh my gosh Vanessa what are you doing here?!" Devin asked as she hugged her favorite sister in law.

"Mom called and said she was having a family dinner and I had to be here so…"

"So how are you feeling Devin?" Sika asked.

"I`m feeling fine." Devin says taking her seat next to her husband

"Are you really?"

"Yes sir."

"You wouldn't lie to me would you?"

"Dad- she said she`s fine." Joe says.

"Devin could speak for herself Joseph, he`s just asking her a question." Summer says.

"Summer just stop." Joe says throwing his hand up.

"What she has a problem with answering his question?"

"Summer you're out of line, and you have no idea what you`re talking about so if you can please shut the hell up that be great kay."

"Leati, Summer, please." Patricia says.

"Sorry mom." Summer says.

"You`ve only been here for what, thirty minutes and you`re already starting stuff." Joe says.

"Leati I said stop!"

Joe throws his hands up.

"So how has everyone been?" Sika asked

"Leati where are the kids?" Patricia asked.

"They're at Rachels, they've been begging to go over her house for a while now."

"I wish you would've brought them."

"I know i barely see them i was hoping they'd be here tonight." Vanessa says.

"We'll bring them next time." Joe says.

For almost an hour they went back and forth in conversation while Devin sat there in dead silence not saying a word enjoying her Samoan dinner.

"Hey are you okay Devin?" Solofa also known as Rikishi asked placing his hand on his cousin in laws.

"Huh- yeah I`m fine." Devin said snapping back into reality.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Devin said flashing a fake smile.

It was obvious there was something bothering her, they knew her too well to even believe what she was saying even with the fake smile.

Pulling her shirt straight down Devin pushes back from the table and says.

"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom."

Taking note at how fast she walked out Joe knew Devin was trying to hide that she was having another anxiety attack. Being that none of his family knew about Devins anxiety Joe had to play off how fast he went after her.

Watching her walkout the room Janet asked. "What's wrong with her?"

"And don't say nothing because no one actually believes that." Summer says.

"Mom this is really good did you make this?"

"Joe- what`s wrong?" Patricia asked.

"You guys never tell us what's going on with you two anymore..."

"Everything is a secret." Trinity continues.

Joe sighs and says. "She's been having really bad anxiety attacks since the incident, and that`s the reason neither of us have been at work, her anxiety gets so bad that she can't even function like she should when she has them, and just about anything can trigger them." Joe said scooting from the table

"Is she going to be okay?" Matt asked.

"One day." Joe said standing up.

"Where are you going?" Afa asked.

"To check on her."

"Joe." Summer calls.

"Yeah."

"I`m sorry about earlier."

Joe nods his head and walks away.

.

.

Devin sits on the toilet with her head between her legs shaking trying to get her breathing together when she hears a knock on the door.

"Devin."

"Devin."

"Devin." Joe continued to say as he knocked on the bathroom door.

"It`s me- let me in."

Sitting up she opens the door to let him in.

"Can I touch you?"

Devin shakes her head no.

"Well can I just sit in here with you then?"

Devin nods her head yes.

 _"_ _What are you doing?" Joe asked walking in his living room._

 _"_ _Mixing M &m`s and skittles together." Devin said looking up as she tore open the bags and poured them in one bowl._

 _"_ _How do you know which ones which?"_

 _"_ _You don't that`s the point, they taste really good when you get both and eat them together."_

 _"_ _Well I`m just going to have to take your word on that one."_

 _"_ _Try it!" Devin says grabbing the bowl._

 _"_ _No thank you."_

 _"_ _Try it!"_

 _Joe rolls his eyes and sticks his hand in the bowl and grabs some and throws it in his mouth. Chewing it Joe gets the weirdest look on his face and looks for somewhere to spit it out._

 _Devin laughs and says. "You have to swallow it."_

 _"_ _This is disgusting!"_

 _Laughing again Devin says. "No it`s not now swallow!"_

 _Forcing himself to eat it Joe says. "You`re a bully!"_

 _"_ _Oh am I?" Devin asked laughing still._

 _"_ _Yes you are!" Joe says pulling her to him and wrapping his arms around her._

 _"_ _You`re such a baby."_

 _"_ _I guess it's an acquired taste." Joe says._

 _"_ _I guess so."_

 _Sitting down on the couch Joe grabs a hand full of the skittles and M &m`s._

 _"_ _What are you doing?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _If you like it then so do I."_

 _Throwing it in his mouth Joe gives her a fake smile knowing he really wanted to spit it out._

 _Devin laughs and says. "You don't have to like it just because I do."_

 _"_ _Good because this taste like dog s**t." Joe says spitting it out._

 _"_ _Its not that bad."_

 _"_ _To you." Joe said as Devin laid back into his arms._

 _"_ _I wonder where Kim went." Devin said to Joe as they cuddled by the fire._

 _"_ _I kicked her out." Joe said looking down._

 _"_ _Why?" Devin said turning around._

 _"_ _She's been flirting with me for a while now and earlier she tried to kiss me."_

 _"_ _She what?!"_

 _"_ _Yeah she was flirting with me while you were in New York and she came into the guy locker room and pretty much dropped her robe."_

 _"_ _Pretty much?" Devin asked._

 _"_ _No, she did."_

 _"_ _But I turned my head." Joe said quickly._

 _To his surprise Devin didn't say anything._

With her face still in her hands Devin asked.

"Why are you still here?"

"Is that a rhetorical questions?"

"Go away."

Shaking his head Joe says.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"And thats your problem, you and Dr Carmichael keep trying to fix me can't you see i can't be fix, i am unfixable."

Grabbing for her Joe says. "You're alot of things, frustrating for example, stubborn, and you're a little rude at times, but you're not unfixable."

Pushing him away Devin says. " Joe yes i am, you're just too blind to see it, you want to believe everything is going to be alright when in all actuality nothings ever going to be okay, I'm never going to be okay ever again!"

"Which is why i need you to take the kids and go far away from me so that you guys can finally be happy."

"If you're not there we won't be happy."

"You didn't sign up for this, you guys don't deserve this- you guy deserve to have me at 100% and right now i can't be that!"

"If i can't deal with you at your worst then i don't deserve you at your best." Joe replies.

Whipping her tears Devin asked. "What fortune cookie said that?"

"When i said through sickness and health til do us part i meant it, I'm not giving up on you."

For the first time since he entered the bathroom Devin looks up at him.

Joe puts his hand on her lap and rubs it, and with the other hand he reaches for her purse that was under her legs.

Pulling his hand off of her lap Joe opens her purse and pulls out a pill bottle. And without saying anything he pours two pills in his hand and stands up and walks over to the sink and opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out a cup turns on the water and fills it up and turns to Devin and opens his hand attempting to give her the pills.

Shaking her head Devin says.

"I'm not taking them."

"You need to take them." Joe replied.

"I don't want to."

"I know you don't want to but the doctor said if you get worst then you need to go back to taking them."

"You said it your self I'm getting better."

"That's before i knew you were hiding your anxiety from me."

"Rocky and Rachel told you?"

"No, you trying to jump out of a moving car going 65 on freeway so i wouldn't see you told me."

Devin takes her anxiety pills out of his hand and tosses them in her mouth and then Joe passes her the water.

Rubing her leg again Joe says.

"We should head home, these pills should make you drowsy soon."

Devin nods her head. Walking out the bathroom and passing the kitchen Joe said.

"Alright guys we're going to head out now."

"So soon?" Janet asked.

"Yeah I forgot i took some new allergy medicine, i should be getting drowsy any minute now."

.

.

Driving and glancing over every now and again Joe noticed how drowsy Devin looks and says.

"When we get to the house you can wait in the car until I unlock the door if you`re too tired to get out."

"Mmhmm."

'"Devin?"

"Okay."

Joe reaches over with one of his hands and rubs her leg.

Seeing his wife pull out her phone Joe asked.

"Who are you calling?"

Shaking her head Devin said.

"I`m not calling anyone..."

"I was checking to see if I had a miss call from Bree."

Joe shakes his head and then asked.

"Did you?"

"No, but maybe something happened to her phone or something."

"Mmm."

It was no secret to how Joe felt about Bree right about now, but he didn't feel it was an appropriate time restate that.

.

.

Walking into the dark and empty house Joe walks towards their room while Devin walks towards the couch. Sitting down Devin pulls her feet to the couch and then slowly lays down.

Walking back into the living room Joe searches around for his wife when he spots her on the couch walking over to her he noticed she was sleeping. Walking back towards his room Joe grabs a cover and makes his way back to the living room where he tosses the cover on the coffee table and goes to pull off Devin`s shoes and then her pants and neatly folds them and then turns around places them on the table then grab`s the cover and throws it over her. Standing there watching her sleep Joe forms a small smile on his face she looked so peaceful which was rare now a days.

 _"We had to sedate her, and we gave her the highest we could possibly give her."_

 _Joe put`s his hands on his hips and took a deep breath._

 _"When she does get out she`s going to need to be on some serious medicine, anti depressions or anxiety medicine maybe."_

 _"Anxiety medicine?"_

 _"Oh she`s going to have really bad anxiety..."_

 _Walking off and back into his wife`s hospital room Joe watches his wife sleep._

Turning to walk away Joe stops and turns back towards his wife and pulls the big pillows off of the couch and climbs over her and makes him self comfortable and slowly falls a sleep.

A:n/so next chapter will be the chapter where she comes face to face with her mom after years of not speaking to her, things are definitely going to be different for Devin once she walks out now the only question is will it be a good different or a different that will finally push her to a place of no return.


	19. Chapter 19

"Good morning Devin." Dr. Carmichael said as Devin and Joe walked in.

"Morning Doc." Devin said sitting down.

"How was your morning?"

"Pretty good."

"You're not scared to see your mom?"

"Nope."

"Psh- I had to literally drag her out of the car and last night she had an anxiety attack just thinking about seeing her mom." Joe says.

"Devin! I thought we built a relationship of trust." Dr. Carmichael says.

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus babe." Devin said letting go of his hand.

"It's why I`m here." Joe says jokingly.

"Dr. Carmichael your guest are here." Someone said over the inter box.

"Thank you Susie, send them in."

Devin quickly grabs Joe's hand as her heart began to beat extremely fast.

"Feel my heart." Devin said pulling his hand to her chest.

"You're going to be fine." Joe said as the door slowly opens.

"I can't do this!"

"Did someone forget to put on their big girl panties today?"

"Yes."

"Devin." Jessica says walking in to the room.

As her siblings and later her mom walks in Devin just stares at them with fear which later turned into anger the only one she spoken to since the incident was Rebecca, and even she didn't check to see if she was okay and that made her angry and sad at the same time, why were they showing up now how much money did Joe have to offer them for them to be there, why did they care now- or did they even care at all?

"Hello Jessica." Devin said.

"Why so formal- come here and give us a hug."

With hesitation Devin gets up to go across the table and hug her siblings when Joe holds onto her hand tightly not wanting to let go, with his teeth tight upset for the same reason Devin was they could have at least called or sent a post card or something but they didn't and that made Joe angry and who really wants to make someone 6ft3 and a solid 265 angry.

"You can let her hand go-we won't bite." Beverly says with a smirk.

Joe bit down harder on his teeth, if there was one person Joe hated it was Beverly, from the moment he first met her at that dinner table until now he hated that woman he didn't know it was possible to hate someone that much but he did, his parents always taught him how its not good to hate anyone but Joe couldn't help it he HATED that woman for what she did to Devin who didn't deserve anything her mom threw at her.

"Hi guys." Devin said with her eyes on the ground as she gave them quick hugs but stopped at her mom she wasn't even going to pretend to be happy to see her.

"So where's the kids?" Richard asked.

"I didn't want Beverly around them." Devin says boldly.

"Excuse me, don't nobody want to be around your raggedy headed mutts anyways." Bev says.

Joe jumps up and puts his hand in her face and yells. "DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY KIDS LIKE THAT!"

" I don't care how up set you are, don't you ever get in my mom's face like that again!" Richard said shooting up.

Joe and Richard looks like they're about to fight when Devin quickly gets in between her brother and Joe and pushes Joe back.

"I`m going to have to ask you guys to refrain from getting in anyone's face's, if you want them to hear you guys out you're going to have to act like the adults you are." Dr. Carmichael says.

"Thank you!" Bev said.

"I didn't say you were right."

"I don't like him!" Bev says.

"Well the feeling is mutual!" Joe said.

"You don't have to like anyone but you have to respect them." Dr. Carmichael said.

"I don't HAVE to do a damn thing- especially respect someone like him."

"You're right you don't HAVE to but can we at least pretend to respect each other?"

"I can't make any promises." Joe says.

"So it's clear you too don't like each other- why?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"She hasn't done anything but belittled Devin since the moment I met her, and for what reason- she doesn't have any except she's an evil miserable b***h!"

"And I don't like him because he controls my Devin." Bev says.

"What are you talking about?" Devin asked narrowing her eyes.

"You seen how he wouldn't let her hug us and he made her move all the way across this country."

"I moved across the country to be with my husband and to get away from you." Devin says.

"Why couldn't you be with your husband in Fairfield or anywhere in California?"

"Can you stop pretending you care about me because we both know you can careless about me." Devin said.

"See I should of aborted you when your dad asked me too!"

Devin's heart sunk at her mom's statement as she said. "You're lying!"

"Why would I lie?"

"Because you're miserable and you want everyone to be miserable with you, it kills you that I`m happy."

"You're not happy, if you were you wouldn't be in a therapist office right now would you..." Beverly pauses and laughs then asked. "And do you know what's going to kill you?"

"Hmm- what's going to kill you is when you find out that your dad wrote to every last one of your siblings except you, he never wrote you one damn letter, he never gave a damn about you just like i don't give a damn about you, he didn't even want me to give birth to you…"

"That's enough!" Dr. Carmichael said as tears built in Devin's eyes as she stared at her mom in anger.

"Yeah mom that's enough!" Rebecca said.

"No she needs to hear this, tell her Jessi, Dave, Rich, Di, Becky how your dad wrote you guys for years after he left and you guys kept it from her, go on tell her." Beverly says.

"Why else do you think you`re the only one with abandonment and daddy issues- huh?"

"What you're doing is not going to work!" Devin said still with tears in her eyes.

"Look in the mirror it already did."

Devin takes a harsh breath.

"Let's go Devin." Joe said trying to protect her from further damage that he knew would come from this.

"No."

"Dev, i said let's go!" Joe said.

"If she doesn't want to go you can't make her." Beverly says.

"Go to hell!" Joe said.

"Not without making sure I ruin Devin's life first." Beverly said with an evil smirk.

"Mom you hurt me!" Devin said letting her tears finally drop.

"Ever since I was a kid you went all out your way to hurt me, and for what what did I ever do to you, why do you hate me so much?!" Devin asked as her tears continued to flow.

"I don't have to answer you, you're my child, I`m your mom!"

"Some mom." Devin says.

"See with your disrespectful a**, that's why I hate you!"

"You shouldn't have been able to have kids!"

"Oh I`m such a bad mom, you're still here aren`t you?"

"Barely."

"I fed you every night didnt i?"

"No you didn't."

"Then you just make sure you're a good mom."

"I am, I'm a better mom then you will ever be!"

"Dev there is no need to bash her mothering skills, she did the best she could." Diamond says.

"No there is when you're so screwed up in your adult life because of the things your mom use to say or do, I have every right to bash her mothering skills." Devin says.

"Well..."

"Well nothing..she was never mean to you like she was to me, so of course you think she was an award winning parent of the year."

"I never said she was mother of the year."

"She kicked bleach in my face who the f**k does that- she made me clean the dirt off the floor with my own tooth brush and then made me use it and countless other insane crap and I'm just supposee to get over it?"

"Everyone else turned out alright, its just you that turned out 'screwed up' as you put it." Bev said.

"And who do you think is the reason for that?"

"If you were as good of a mother as you thought you were none of your kids would be screwed up." Devin continued.

"Shut up, just shut the f**k up Devin, you fat, ugly, worth less b***h! Bev said hurt.

"Because of you I never thought I was good enough, even when I excelled I never thought that I was good my self-esteem was shattered, I always thought someone was going to hurt me."

"Oh cry me a river."

Devin looks to the ground and sighs.

"Sticks and stones…" Jessica started to say waiting for her sister to finish it off.

"May break my bones but words will leave psychological wounds that may never heal." Devin said looking down then back up at her sister.

Everyone sat there in silence.

"Mom she's right you were never a good mom there was no off switch when it came to how mean you were to Devin, nothing she did was ever good enough even when she did the best anyone could possibly do, she beat an eating disorder, she was valedictorian in high school and she has three masters degree's all by twenty, she reached the top in her career in the Wwe, Devin should be the poster child for what you or any parent should want your child to grow up and be like but its still not enough for you." David said.

Everyone's mouth dropped that was the most they had EVER heard him speak in his entire life.

"And I`m sorry for not being a better big brother to you, especially after the…" David began to say.

Throwing her hand up and cutting him off Devin says. "It's okay you don't have to say it, I know, you know, we know, what happened there is no need to speak about it."

"Right."

"Devin did you ever tell them how you felt about them not being there for you after the incident?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Devin shakes her head no.

"Now would be a good time."

A:n/ Thank you for reading this chapter be sure to tell me what you think in the review's! Next chapter things will get VERY intense... If you could imagine that lol


	20. Chapter 20

"Devin did you ever tell them how you felt about them not being there for you after the incident?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Devin shakes her head no.

"Now would be a good time to tell them."

"I felt abandoned, but at the same time I didn't, you guys are never around when I need you guys the most, going back to when I had an eating disorder you guys never showed up to the family day, I waited there for an hour hoping you wouldn't disappoint me, when I went into Acoma Diamond was the only one there, when I went paralyzed all you cared about was going back to your hotel room, when the incident happened I didn't get a phone call, I didn't get a visit to see if I was okay, and I know I`m a grown woman who's married with kids and with my own life now, but it would of meant the world to me if my siblings were there." Devin said.

"Visit…mom said- wait you were in Acoma?!" Jessica asked.

"Yeah it was back in my Wwe days I almost died twice."

"Devin we didn't know you were in Acoma."

"We thought you wouldn't have wanted them to know." Diamond said.

"Yeah, I wouldn't have but the point was if I had they wouldn't have been there anyways." Devin said.

"Do you know how much I've cried after the incident, did you know I have anxiety attacks now because of it?" Devin asked.

"Devin." Richard said grabbing for her hand.

Devin snatches her hand back and says. "I`m not the little girl that left Fairfield over eight years ago I`m a different person that none of you would recognize as your sister because none of you have tried."

" Boohoo, my life is terrible i want everyone to feel sorry for me." Beverly says.

Joe shakes his head and says. "Unbelievable,your daughter is crying her eyes out and you still don't care."

"You can't be that cold hearted." Dr. Carmichael says in shock.

Devin looks down at the ground and sighs running her fingers through her hair. Unexpectedly before anyone could stop her Devin runs across the coffee table, between the two couches , and jumps over on her mom before anyone could register in their heads what was going on Devin had her hands wrapped around her throat.

"Devin let go!" Richard said trying to pull his mom from under his sister but his sister grip got tighter as she held a look of hate in her eyes.

"Devi stop!" Rebecca yelled.

"Devin!" Jessica screamed fearful for her mom`s life, Devin had a tight grip on her that no one was able to get her to let go, her reality became a blur she couldn't hear a word anyone was saying to her all she could hear was every mean thing her mom had ever said to her causing her grip to get tighter she didn't even notice her mom's eye's were now a blood shot red.

"Devin, babe let her go!" Joe says pulling his smaller wife back as she held that tight grip on her.

"Babe babe,let her go." Joe says as Devin loosens her grip and slowly lets her go.

With Devin still in his arms Joe opens the door and takes her out in the hall as Beverly sat there trying to catch her breath in complete shock.

A:N/ Thank you for all the reviews they are greatly appreciated.. What is your overall opinion of Devins mom? What do you think about the fact that Devin is pouring her heart out to her siblings and mom and her mom still doesnt care? What do you think about Devin jumping up and chocking her? Did you see it coming ?


	21. Chapter 21

"Joe put me down!" Devin yelled.

Putting her down Devin slid down the wall and put her head in her hands and looked back up and asked. "Why did I do that, I could have killed her?!"

"Devin, you snapped, I`m not going to lie I was scared for you, I`m not saying what you did was right but I don`t blame you, I`m just surprised it didn't happen sooner."

"Is that what you would have said to the girls or Joseph had they been in that situation?" Devin asked.

"No."

"Exactly had I killed her I would be in jail, I'm too cute to be in jail..."

"I`d probably be on death row..." Devin rambled.

"Wait is death row legal in Florida?" Devin asked.

"I don't know."

"Well beside the point I would have had to explain myself to a jury and to a judge…"

"But you don't have too, you're fine, she's fine, we're all fine." Joe said.

"I know but…"

"But nothing."

"When I had my hand`s around her throat I couldn't hear a thing anyone was saying to me, all I heard was my mom, my mom yelling and screaming at me I heard every terrible thing she had ever said to me so i squeezed tighter..."

"It was like a was a whole different person." Devin continued.

"You`re not a different person you're the same person you`ve always been, except this time you were pushed." Joe says leading both into a silence.

Breaking the serious moment with his laughter Joe says.

"I already had my speech ready for when the police questioned me."

"She didn't do it- i don't care what they said she didn't do it!"

Devin gives him a small chuckle.

"Are you- I`m sorry am I interrupting you guys?" Rebecca asked.

"No your fine."

"Do you want to come back in and finish this session, or is it too soon- mom agreed to act civilized I think you choked some since into her." Rebecca said.

Devin looks at Joe.

"It's up to you." Joe said.

"Alright..."

.

.

"Are you okay?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Yeah I`m fine." Devin said.

"I`m pressing charges." Beverly mumbled.

"Mom shut up." David said

"So where were we before you went Wwe on her?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I was going to say that mom said when you were at the hospital for your eating disorder that you weren't allowed to have any visitors." Jessica said.

Devin glares over at her mother and then back at her sister and said. " I called Beverly and asked for you guys to come to family day and she flat out said yal couldn't make it the first time and the second one she said you guys would come and never came."

"Mom told me your eating disorder wasn't getting any better and they wanted to keep you away from people because it might make it worst." Rebecca said.

"That doesn't even make sense." Devin says.

"Why would you do that?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"Because I wanted to hurt her." Beverly said.

"Why?" Devin asked squinting her eyes.

"Same reason why you ran across this table like a wild animal."

"Mom you promised." Jessica said.

"Because of her."

"Who her me?" Devin asked.

Bev shook her head and said. "My sister."

"Who auntie Catharine?"

"No."

"Auntie Karen?"

Beverly shook her head.

Auntie Sally?"

Beverly shook her head again.

Devin went through all her known aunties when her mom shakes her head again and said.

"No its not any of them, we had another sister name Gina."

"And what does she have to do with me?" Devin asked.

"She was beautiful, smart, talented everyone loved her and she looked exactly like you."

"Me?" Devin asked.


	22. Chapter 22

"Yes you, you're a spitting imagine of her- she always got everything handed to her, she was so cocky and all the boys loved her my parents treated her like a princess and me like dirt."

"So kind of like how you treated me?"

"All those times i tried to hurt you was because of all the things my sister caused..."

"When I yelled at you and belittled you in my head I was getting back at her- for once i was winning..."

"When you were born you were the prettiest thing I had ever seen, prettier than any of my other babies I couldn't believe I gave birth to such a beautiful baby, then I realized who you looked like you looked exactly like her- Gina, and I promised from that day forward that I would make it my mission not to let you turn out like Gina all conceited and thinking your better then everyone so I went out my way to put you down so you would never turn out like her, like Gina!"

"Of course you couldn't have done it like a normal parent would have." Devin said sarcastically.

"She use to alway take my barbies from me, she didn't even want it, she just didn't want me to have it, she never wanted me to have anything..."

With a puzzled look Devin said. " I went nights without eating, you were going to let my eating disorder kill me, i ate out of a dogs bowl like i was a dog, people who were deemed enemies of the state got treated better than me and it was all because i looked like your sister who took your barbie?"

Beverly shakes her head and said. " It was more than that.."

"As you know there was ten of us, because of that my parents had to stretch our food, you know make it last so they hated when we would waste food, there was this one time when my siblings and i were eating dinner Gina didn't want to eat it so she threw it away and blamed it on me, my parents made me eat everything she threw away, i ate everything, every banana peel, throw up, cat litter, everything that you would put in a trash can i had to eat it, it was all mixed with the food there were no separating it..."

"And then In high school my parents made me sleep in the dog's house because Gina wanted to make my room into her walk in closet... gosh i haaatte her."

"Where is she and why haven't we heard of her?" David asked.

"After she went to college she ran off with some rich guy and we never spoke to her again, she thinks she`s too good for us now she didn't even go to our parents funeral..."

Beverly laughs and says."And she was the golden child and she didnt even go, but i did the kid they hated."

After a moment of silence beverly throws her hands up and says.

"So there you go the family secret to why I hate Devin so much."

Shaking her head then turning to walk away for good Devin says. "You're insane."

"Says the one who attacked her own mother." Bev said.

"Wait Devin- I have a surprise for you." Dr. Carmichael said.

"Can you do this another day, I`m really over talking to my mom."

"Can I at least show you the gift?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Rolling her eyes Devin says. "Fine."

"Send um in." Dr. Carmichael says pushing the button.

The door slowly opens, as it did a scent flows in a scent that Devin loved but couldn't remember why she loved it so much or what it reminded her of, as the door fully opened Devin and her siblings mouths drop.

A:N/ Sooo who do you think walked in the door? Thank you for all the reviews and for the new follow i really appropriate it... Don't forget to tell me what you think in the reviews..


	23. Chapter 23

The door slowly opens, as it did a scent flows in a scent that Devin loved but couldn't remember why she loved it so much or what it reminded her of, as the door fully opened Devin and her siblings mouths drop. Devin quickly looks to her siblings who were just as shocked as she was.

"Dad." Devin said softly.

"Devin you grew up into such a beautiful woman just like I expected." Her dad says trying to hug her but she pushes back.

Instead of the warm reunion it should have been Devin quickly rejected him much to every one`s surprise. So many questions ran through her head and instead of being happy to see the man who use to mean the world to her, she quickly puts a guard up refusing to let him back in after causing her so much pain which was so unlike her forgiving nature.

"Did you tell mom to abort me?" Devin asked.

"Devin what you have to understand." Her dad said trying to hug her.

With her arm stretched out in front if her Devin asked.

"Did you or did you not tell mom to abort me?"

"Yes."

"That's all I needed to hear- don't touch me."

"But Devin its not what it sounds like."

"You wanted me dead, is that why you were so nice to me because you felt bad?" Devin asked.

"Devin just listen."

"Fine, you have 2 minutes before I turn around and walk out that door this time I promise none of you will EVER see me again."

"Your mom had a difficult pregnancy with Diamond and we almost lost her and your mom and the doctor said it wasn't safe for her to get pregnant again so I didn't want to chance it again."

"If that was true, then why didn't you tell her to do the same with Rebecca?" Devin asked.

"I did, it wasn't because I didn't love you two, it's because I didn't want to lose her and you and your sister."

"Well you lost us when you walked out didn't you." Devin said fighting back tears.

"Don't cry baby girl." Her dad said touching her cheek.

Devin pushes his hand away and said. "Don't touch me and don't call me that."

"Because of you I thought every man was going to one day leave me, because you left me I thought I was unlovable, if the one man in the world who HAD to love me didn't love me why would any other man love me." Devin said crying.

"I am so sorry Devin I tried to call you, I wrote you letters and you never wrote back and your mom would pick up the phone and say you don't want to talk to me."

"Why didn't you take me with you-why didn't you want me?" Devin asked crying hysterically.

Joe grabs her hand in support but doesn't shut it down because he knew she needed to get this off her chest.

"Baby gir- Devin I always wanted you and your brothers and sisters, I just thought it was best for you guys to be with her." Ezra Devin's Dad said.

"Really, did you really think we- I was better off with her- you seen how she treated me!"

"I'm not making excuses by any means because i was dead wrong, but the night I left i had all i could take from your mom i had to leave so i did..."

Devin rolls her eyes.

"You`re a woman and I thought even though she was a b***h there was stuff she could teach you that I could never teach you, but clearly I was wrong and I`m sorry that`s one of my biggest regrets, is leaving you guys, when i left your mom i shouldn't of left you kids too..."

"Why didn't you visit, you leaving wouldn't have hurt as bad as it did."

"Your mom wouldn't allow me to visit you..."

"F**k my mom we're your kids."

"Your mom went to the court made it so I couldn't come in contact with you I could call, I could write letters but I couldn't come in contact with you and that killed me and when that ran up she put a restraining order on me so I couldn't come near you guys no matter how much I wanted too."

Devin letting out a deep breath as she sat on the arm of the couch and mumbles.

"Of course she did."

"You never gave her, her letters?" Ezra asked.

Beverly remain quiet for once in her life she had nothing to say.

"Wait this whole time she was actually getting letters and you just kept them from her?" David asked squinting his eyes.

"You're all kinds of evil." Jessica says.

Without saying anything Devin gets up and genuinely hugs her siblings and then her dad and then said.

"I love you..."

"But I have to go, while I still have my sanity or what's left of it." Devin said walking out of the room.

Joe quietly gets up and goes over to each of her siblings and does the same and then stuck his hand out to shake Devin's dads hand and then he too walked out.

.

.

"Devin!" Joe called.

"You needed all that to happen exactly how it did."

Devin just looks at him.

"We need to find a way to get pass this incident and we can't get pass that unless you learn to deal with things, you can confront and deal with this, you can deal with anything else."

Looking at him Devin starts crying, Joe wraps his arms around her and says.

"It's okay they can't hurt you anymore."

A:n In the past chapters i said this session would have a big affect on her now that you read it what affect do you think this will have on her in the upcoming chapters?


	24. Chapter 24

Both Devin and Joe remain quiet as they drove back to their Pensacola home both some what exhausted from there day, Devin more than Joe.

"What are you thinking about?" Devin asked looking over at her husband as he drove.

Shaking his head Joe says.

"Nothing really, just about today."

"Today was a crazy day, my mom is f**king insane."

Glancing down at her Joe asked.

"You just learned that today?"

"I mean I knew that but it`s just I never knew the degree of her insanity i guess, like the fact that she wouldn't let my dad see us and she made it seem like he just walked out and never looked back, when in reality he left her and she was just butt hurt he didn't want her so she was like you cant have any of them no matter how it affected us, I mean obviously she doesn't care about how it affected me but you would think she would have thought about the others."

"She did that`s why she let them get the letters he wrote." Joe replied.

"This is true but..."

"Hey I don't want to talk about her anymore."

"Okay what do you want to talk about?" Devin asked.

Stopping the car Joe opens the gate in front of their house and pulled into the drive way and turned off the car and said.

"Get the box out of the truck."

Devin lifts her eye brow and unbuckles her seat belt and makes her way to the trunk and pulls the box out of the trunk and opens it. Revealing a pair of beautiful red heels with straps around the ankles.

"Where am I wearing these too- better yet with what?"

Joe doesn't reply he just walks towards the house.

Meeting him in the house Devin asked.

"Where are the kids?"

"With my mom." Joe responds as he makes his way to their room.

.

.

Devin flops down on their bed and then lays back and sighs as Joe walks into the bathroom.

"Are the kids staying the night?" Devin asked looking over at the bathroom.

"No." Joe replies.

Devin and Joe go back and forth in conversation with Joe only giving yes or no answers. When finally Joe walks out side the bathroom with both his hands behind his back Devin looks up and asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Pick a hand."

Devin laughs and asked.

"What?"

Repeating him self Joe says.

"Pick a hand."

Devin laughs again and says.

"How old are we?"

"Just do it.."

"Okay-umm that one." Devin said pointing to his right hand.

Joe pulls out a fancy gift bag and passes it to her as he held his left hand behind his back. Taking the bag out of his hand Devin opens it and pulls out laced panties then a matching laced bra.

"Can I ask you something?" Devin asked.

"Anything doll face"

"What`s the occasion?"

"You don't know?"

"No." Devin replies.

"You really don't know what today is?" Joe asked lifting his eye brow.

"Okay now I feel bad, it`s not our anniversary, it`s not Christmas- I have no idea."

"Wow."

"You`re not going to tell me are you?" Devin asked.

"Nope." Joe says pulling a beautiful box from behind his back.

"Open it."

Looking at the box Joe placed on her lap Devin says.

"Now I feel bad I didn't give you anything."

Shaking his head Joe says.

"You don't have to give me anything."

Twisting her mouth Devin opens the box and pulls out a short black form fitting v neck cocktail dress with lace at the upper portion in the front that stopped just above her chest and continuing in the back that ended at the lower end of her back.

"Who helped you pick this out?"

Joe laughed and asked.

"Does this mean you like it?"

Looking back at it the dress Devin said.

"I love it."

"Good now put it on."

"Why?"

"You`ll see."

"Joe."

"I made us a reservation at restaurant, now get dress!"

"Okay okay seriously what's the special occasion?"

Joe walks away with out saying anything.

"Leati!"

"Why can't I just want to go out with my wife?" Joe asked.

.

.

Pulling up in front of a place called Jackson`s steak house Joe looks over to his wife and says.

"Wait right here." And unbuckles his seat belt and climbs out of their car and makes his way to the passenger`s door and opens the door then put`s his hand out for her to grab.

"If I break my neck I`m killing you!" Devin says stepping out the car.

Joe smiles as they made their way to the door. Walking into the restaurant just before they turned the corner Joe whispers into her ear.

"No one should spend their birthday crying especially when they`re as blessed as you are."

"Happy birthday mommy!" Joelynn says running to her mom.

Covering her face Devin says.

"Oh my gosh."

"You forgot your own birthday didn't you?" Saraya asked.

"I did." Devin says walking up to her chair.

Pulling out her chair Joe wait`s until she sits down and pushes her in and then whispers.

"You look breath taking by the way."

"Dev I can`t believe you forgot your birthday." Sarona says.

"I know."

"Well welcome to the thirty club." Rocky says.

"Gosh that sounds so old."

"Mommy JoJo, Jenn, Joey and I made you a gift!" Joelynn says.

"Did you?"

"Can I give it to you now?"

"Why don't we give it to her after dinner?" Joe asked.

"Okay!" Joelynn says as she skips to her seat.

"Don't tell me you guys came all the way out here just for my birthday?" Devin asked.

"We did." Danielle says.

"Gurl you know you lyin, we were already out this way we have a show in Tampa." Ariane says.

Devin laughs and says.

"I was about to feel real special."

"I mean we did use our only day off this week for you." Danielle says.

"Devin stand up and let me see your dress." Vanessa says.

Standing up Devin does a little twirl and then sits back down.

"Ooh girl I see you." Trinity says.

"Joe actually bought it, like by his self."

"Husband goals." Renee joked.

.

.

"I know you`ve been going through a lot lately but if you take the time and just reflect on your life you`ll really realize how blessed you truly are you're alive you`re healthy..." Mercedes began to say.

Joe shakes his head real fast.

"What?" Mercedes asked.

"I`ll be back." Devin says pushing back from her table.

"What did I say?" Mercedes asked.

Becky shakes her head.

.

.

Pacing back and forth out side of the restaurant taking deep breaths when she see`s her husband and stops pacing.

"Are you okay?" Joe asked.

"Yeah I`m fine."

Looking straight into her eyes Joe says.

"Tell the truth."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure."

"Yeah, it`s just been a long day and I haven't had a moment to my self , I just need to breathe."

"Okay." Joe says sliding his hands into his pocket.

"I promise you I am fine."

Taking his hand out of his pocket Joe rubs It on her cheek and says.

"If you say so."

After a moment of silence Joe says.

"Come on let`s go back inside it`s getting dark out here."

Devin grabs his hand and walks with him back inside.

"I`m sorry Dev, I didn't meant to..." Mercedes began to say.

"No you`re good, I just had a long day." Devin says sitting back down.

"I ordered you a drink." Rachel says sliding it over to her best friend.

"You know I don't drink."

"Oh come on it`s your birthday!" Brandi says.

Devin twist her mouth.

"You know you want too." Rachel says poking her best friend.

"No I don't actually."

"Just one!" Pamela says.

"I feel like I`m in high school."

"Come oon!" Saraya says.

"Where`s Fox and Cj?"

"They couldn't make it but Catherine said to tell you happy birthday." Becky says.

"Now drink!" Rachel says.

"Fine, fine." Devin says putting her lips to the straw of her alcoholic beverage.

"You girls are bad influences!" Sika says.

"It`s all fun Mr. Anoa`I." Saraya says.

"Sika."

"Sika." Saraya says.

"Let`s make a toast to the birthday girl!" Trinity says.

.

.

"Alright Dev, enjoy the rest of your birthday." Brandi says hugging and kissing her friend good bye.

"Of course, thanks for coming."

Devin says good bye to her in laws and to the rest of her guest and makes her way to her car with her family.

"Mommy."

"Yes Lynn."

"I like when you're happy."

"I like when I'm happy too." Devin says looking down then off to the side.


	25. Chapter 25

_Hearing a knock at his hotel door Joe kicks his feet over his bed and makes his way to the door looking though the peep hole he sees its Devin quickly opening his door and says._

 _"Hey what's up?"_

 _Devin laughs and says._

 _"This is kind of embarrassing."_

 _"What's wrong?"_

 _"I locked myself out my room.."_

 _"Do you want me to go down to the front desk with you?" Joe asked._

 _"Actually i was wondering if i could spend the night in your room?"_

 _"And then maybe i could get them to open the door tomorrow." Devin continued._

 _"Uh- yeah let me get dressed first." Joe says closing the door then walking over to his suit case and pulling his sweats out and then made his way back to the door._

 _Walking in the room Devin say`s ._

 _"Thanks."_

 _"Yeah it`s no problem." Joe says letting her walk past._

 _"You had company over?" Devin asked._

 _"Huh?"_

 _Devin points to the underwear on the counter._

 _"Oh no some of the guys thought they were funny." Joe says snatching the underwear knocking the coffee that was on top of it over spilling all over on Devin._

 _"Crap, I am so sorry."_

 _"It`s fine, do you have something I could put on- I would go back to my room but it`s locked and all."_

 _"Yeah, no I can get you something."_

 _Joe walks over to his bag and pulls out one of his shirt and passes it to her. Taking the shirt Devin goes inside the bathroom to change and makes her way to the bed._

 _"You look nice- er I mean I`m glad it fits, I mean I`m sorry forget I said anything." Joe says._

 _Devin laughs and says._

 _"Okay."_

 _"So what were you doing before I came?"_

 _"I was actually on my way to sleep."_

 _"Oh well that`s not fun." Devin says._

 _Joe laughs and says._

 _"It`s fun for me, i don't know about you but I`ve had a total five hours of sleep for this entire week."_

 _"But you have company and I don't want to go to sleep."_

 _"So what do you want to do?"_

 _Snatching the pillow from under his head Devin stands up on the bed and hits him with it and says._

 _"Let`s have a pillow fight!"_

 _"A pillow fight?"_

 _"Yes, it`s standard sleep over policy you have to have one."_

 _"Girls really have pillow fights at sleep overs?" Joe asked._

 _Devin shrugged and hits him with the pillow again and said._

 _"I don't know, I`ve never been to one, but they have them on all the movies."_

 _Joe laughs and says._

 _"Devin sit down."_

 _"Nope." Devin said as she starts jumping on his bed._

 _Joe tried not to stare as the shirt he gave Devin came up when she jumped._

 _"Come on!" Devin said as she jumped and hit him with the pillow once more._

 _Joe rolled his eyes and grabbed a pillow and hits her with it hard making her stumble back a bit._

 _Catching her fall Devin gives him a evil smile and with all her strength she hits him with the pillow. Back and forth the two went when Devin throws her pillow down and starts to play fight with him when Joe grabs her and she locks her legs around his waist as Joe slammed her on the bed breaking the playful moment with her giggles and suddenly a knock at the door._

 _Jumping up and pulling her shirt down Devin says._

 _"I`ll get it!"_

 _"Mmhmm." Joe says watching her._

 _Walking to the door Devin opens it and see`s that it`s Kim._

 _"Devin what are you doing answering Joe`s door?" Kim asked._

 _"I..."_

 _"And you`re in a shirt- his shirt, let me guess what you two were doing."_

 _Shaking her head as she rolled her eyes Devin says._

 _"Kim you know it`s not like that."_

 _"Right, because you two are 'just friends'." Kim says mocking Devin`s voice._

 _"What do you want?"_

 _"Joe."_

 _"Can I come in?" Kim asked._

 _"Uh- sure."_

 _Kim noticed Joe with out a shirt and the random panties and Devin`s clothes on the chair and looks at Devin._

 _"They aren't mines."_

 _"Right."_

 _"Well the clothes are but not the panties."_

 _"So what do you want?" Joe asked._

 _"Right- so I was originally looking for Devin but since you guys are obviously sharing rooms..."_

 _"I locked my self out my room." Devin says folding her arms._

 _"Whatever- the company forgot to book my room and I was going to ask Devin could I sleep with her but since she`s here..."_

 _"You want to ask Joe if you could sleep here?" Devin asked._

 _"Yes."_

 _"Why don't you sleep Diamond and them?" Joe asked._

 _"I mean I could if you guys want to be alone." Kim says with a smirk._

 _Devin rolls her eyes and Joe just stares at her._

 _"But they`re hotel is across the town and I cant get in contact with them."_

 _"Welll..."_

 _"SURE!" Devin says sitting on the bed and scooting in the middle closer to Joe._

 _Devin pats the spot next to her._

 _"Actually." Kim says walking to the other side of the bed causing Joe to scoot into the middle._

 _"I sleep better on this side." Kim say smiling at Joe._

 _"Um you can sleep on the couch." Joe says._

 _"Yeah right I`m not sleeping on no couch."_

 _"Good night!" Kim says flopping down and turning over._

 _._

 _._

 _Waking up the next morning Joe finds himself under the person next to him with his arm draped over her and her black hair in his face. Smelling it Joe says._

 _"Mmmm- your hair smells good."_

 _Turning around Kim says._

 _"Thanks I use wild berry shampoo!"_

 _His eyes shooting open and then Joe shoots up and says._

 _"Get out!"_

 _Kim laughs and says._

 _"What you were expecting Devin?"_

 _Joe doesn't respond._

 _"Speaking of, where did she go?"_

 _Joe searches around the room with his eyes noticing she was gone but his shirt was folded neatly on his dresser._

 _"Kim, get out!"_

 _Kim kicks her feet over the bed._

 _Laughing Kim says._

 _"Your hair smells nice too by the way."_

 _"Do you really only like her just as a friend, because the way you held on too me_ _said something totally different."_

 _"Kim, its too early for your insanity- now can you please leave so I can get ready?"_

"Mama the phone- it's for you." JoJo says slowly walking in her parent's room.

"Who is it?" Devin asked.

JoJo shrugs.

"You didn't ask who it was?"

"He said it was your dad, but do you even have a dad?"

Devin gives her a closed smile and says.

"Give me the phone."

"Hello?"

"Devin- this is your dad."

"Yeah I know who this is." Devin replied.

"Was that your daughter?" Ezra asked.

"Yes."

"My little girl has really grown up, how many kids do you have?"

"Three."

"Oh wow, is the dad around?"

"Yes, we`re married."

"That's good." Ezra says.

"How did you get my number?" Devin asked.

"Your sister gave it to me."

"Mmm."

"You're not mad are you?"

"No."

"Good because I wanted to see you – maybe tomorrow."

"I don't know dad, I`m pretty busy." Devin said.

"Well after you do whatever- please."

"Fine, I`ll come after my therapy session and after I pick up the kids and drop them and Joe off at home."

"Can I meet my grandkids?" Ezra asked.

"One day."

"Okay I understand- I love you Devin."

"I love you too, I have to go."

"Bye." Ezra says.

"Bye." Devin said hanging up the phone.

"Who was that?" Joe asked walking into the room from the bathroom.

"It was my dad, he wanted to meet with me somewhere tomorrow."

"I`m going." Joe said without any hesitation.

Devin sighs and says. "Joe."

"I`m going no if's and's or but's about it."

"Whatever."

"I`m only trying to protect you."

"From what?" Devin asked.

"Anything that might hurt you." Joe said climbing into bed.

Joe moved around on the bed and said.

"You replaced our old mattress didn't you?"

Devin laughs and says. "Here I was hoping you didn't notice."

"Well I did."

"The old mattress was starting to bother my back."

"Yeah well if it was causing your back to hurt then I guess it`s fine."

"So, I was thinking." Devin says.

"About?"

"Joe, I'm just like my mom."

"Devin, you are NOTHING like your mom."

"I'm exactly like her, my mom hurt me for years because of something that badly affected her- I'm doing the exact same thing to our kids."

"Dev, no you're not."

"Joe yes I am, it might not be as drastic or coming from the same place but it is the same thing, i don't want to screw up the rest of their lives because of one bad incident like my mom did with me, there are things she's said or done that can't be undone,I don't want our kids to grow up and say the exact same thing about me, I want to raise kids that don't have to recover from their childhood - like i have too..."

After a short pause Devin continued with

"I think I`m ready to talk about it."

"About what?" Joe asked

"The incident."

"Okay."

"Tomorrow with Dr. Carmichael." Devin says.

"Okay, if you're ready."

"I am."

"Then so am I." Joe said.

"Mama can we sleep with you guys tonight?" JoJo asked holding her little brother as her, her cousin and her sister stood at the door.

"Sure." Devin said.

"I love you mommy!" Joelynn said as the climbed in bed.

"I love you too."

Joe smiled.

"Jenn you know you go home tomorrow right?" Joe asked.

"Aww already?!" Jenn asked.

"Yup."

"I don't wanna go home." Jenn says.

"We don't want you to go home either, but you knew this day was coming." Joe said.

A:n/ SO the chapter everyone has been waiting on is almost here! Just one more chapter! Thank you all for reading this chapter don't for get to review i really enjoy reading how you feel about the chapter.


	26. Chapter 26

"How are you doing Devin?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

"I`m doing pretty good, my dad wants to see me after the session."

"Are you ready to talk to him one on one?"

"I guess, I mean it's not like this will be the first time we seen each other." Devin says.

"You should really consider getting a new couch doctor like every time I sit in that specific spot Joe has to help me up." Devin says.

"I`ll make a note of it." Dr. Carmichael says.

"Hey does your mom know- you know about the incident?"

"I doubt it, she would have throwin it in my face."

"No doubt."

"Yeah, decided yesterday was the last time i will ever talk to her."

Yeah, i usually don't like to encourage a stuff like that, but no good will ever come out of that relationship."

"Devin's ready to talk." Joe says.

"I thought we were just talking." Dr. Carmichael said.

"About the incident."

Dr. Carmichael readjust herself in her seat and says. "Okay."

Devin takes a deep breath and immediately starts to cry.

"A couple of months ago I was -pregnant, for most of my pregnancy I had no idea I was pregnant and I did a lot of stupid things I wouldn't have done had I known I was pregnant, when I did find out I was pregnant I was a little worried, because i wasn't taking any prenataIs, i wasn't taking care of my self like i should have or would have, but when I went to the doctors,to see if they were okay and they said not only were they okay despite the danger i put them in but i was pregnant with twins and things proceeded as normal, every time I went to doctor's appointments they said the same thing they were healthy no sign of anything wrong…" Devin said then taking another deep breath.

"A week before their due dates I started feeling a little odd so I went to the hospital and they checked on them and they said everything was fine, I knew something was wrong but they sent me home anyways, when I went into labor everything still looked fine until I delivered them…

"And she was dead- she was dead and there was nothing the doctors could do about it." Devin said crying hysterically.

"Devin, it wasn't your fault." Dr. Carmichael said.

"I know that it wasn't my fault, I know and it wasn't Joe's fault, and it wasn't anyone's fault and that's what makes it worse because you can't prevent it, we want more kids but who's to say this won't happen again, since it wasn't no one's fault how do you prevent it- you can't, it would have been easier had It been someone's or somethings fault because I could have avoided it but I can't and that's the hardest thing." Devin says sending the room into a silence.

"He died almost a week after his sister…"

"Who did?"

"My son."

"He- he was born with some of his organs on the outside..."

"Omphalocele is what they called it, he also had to be on breathing tube, he didn't stand a chance..."

Looking down and scratching the paint off her nail Devin says. "They would have been three months."

.

.

"We we're supposed to have another baby brother and sister but they died." Joelynn said.

"What happened to them?" Their therapist asked.

"They died didn't you hear her?" JoJo asked with an attitude.

"I mean how did they die?"

Joelynn looked at JoJo and JoJo said.

"One died while my mama was giving birth- or maybe she was already dead, I don't know all I know is that they died." JoJo said with a single tear falling from her eye.

A:n/ Thank you for reading be sure to review what you thought!


	27. Chapter 27

_Packing her bag`s for the hospital a couple of days after her due date Devin was going to get induced. Finally collecting her stuff Devin starts to head down to the family room where Joe and a few of his buddies were, they had stopped by real quick to say hi but end up staying and watching the game until Devin was ready._

 _"Joe." Devin calls._

 _Not taking his eyes off of the tv Joe says. "Yeah babe."_

 _"I`m ready."_

 _"Okay." Joe says with his eyes glued to the television._

 _"Joe did you hear what I said?" Devin asked._

 _"Yeah, yeah you look nice."_

 _"Joe, I`m ready to go to the hospital."_

 _Joe slowly gets up as he keeps his eyes on the Tv. Annoyed Devin picks up the key`s and turns around to walk away when suddenly her water breaks._

 _Walking into the family room Jonathon says._

 _"Oh my gosh." with his eyes wide._

 _"JOE!" Devin yells hunched over._

 _Finally taking his eyes off the tv Joe runs over to his wife noticing that her water had just broke, Joe scoops her up and takes her to the car and heads his way to the hospital._

 _._

 _._

 _"You don't look ready just yet but I`ll get you hooked up and check again later." The nurse says._

 _"Okay." Devin says._

 _Watching the Nurses walk out Devin says._

 _"Oh my gosh this time tomorrow will be home with our babies."_

 _"I know."_

 _"There`s going to be twenty little toe`s!"_

 _"And twenty fingers." Joe says._

 _"They`re going have that new baby smell."_

 _"Gosh you`re not going to be sniffing them are you?"_

 _"I am, I have too!"_

 _"You don't HAVE to."_

 _"No I do, I have to."_

 _"Yeah okay."_

 _"Did you call your mom, and tell her my water broke?"_

 _"I did she and my dad are on there way with the kids."_

 _"Joseph`s still with Josh and Janet?"_

 _"Yes and I called them too."_

 _"Good because I don't want the kids to miss it." Devin says._

 _"They`re going to be so excited, last night they kept asking if you had them yet."_

 _Suddenly Joe`s phone rings._

 _"We`re in room 107..."_

 _"Alright..."_

 _"See you then."_

 _"Bye." Joe says hanging up the phone._

 _"Who was that?"_

 _"Jon and Trin."_

 _._

 _._

 _"Knock knock!" Janet said as her and Josh walked in._

 _"Hi guys!"_

 _"Hey beautiful." Janet said kissing Devin on the cheek._

 _"Hey uce." Josh said hugging his cousin._

 _"Did you guys just get here?" Devin asked._

 _"Yeah, how are you doing?" Janet asked._

 _"I`m fine, I`m really hungry but besides that I'm good."_

 _"They'll let you eat after you give birth." Janet says._

 _"Yeah I know."_

 _"Mommy, mommy!" Joelynn said running in the room._

 _"Hi baby."_

 _"Are you going to have my little brother and sister today?" Joelynn asked._

 _"That's the plan."_

 _"Baby?" Joseph asked climbing on the bed._

 _"That's right Joseph, there's a baby in here." Devin said._

 _"How it get in there?" Joseph asked._

 _"She ate them!" Janet said laughing._

 _Joseph's eyes grow wide._

 _"Janet!" Devin said hitting her lightly._

 _"Is anyone else here?" Joe asked._

 _"Yeah, Rocky, Rachel, Johnathon, Matt, Jon, your parents and Trinity." Josh said._

 _"They didn't want to come in?"_

 _"They said there was already too many people back here." Janet said._

 _"Okay so we're- oh look what we have here, are we having a party or what?" The nurse asked walking back in._

 _"No we're just waiting for my baby brother and sister to be borned!" Joelynn says._

 _"Are you?"_

 _"Yeah!" Joelynn says excitedly._

 _"What do you think they're going to look like?"_

 _"Mmm like a potato!"_

 _"A potato?"_

 _"Yeah babies are ugly when their first born, but when they get older they get really cute- like me!"_

 _"Well you are pretty cute."_

 _"Thank you."_

 _"You're welcome."_

 _"Well I have to check and see if you are ready to push now." The nurse said clapping her hands as she turned to Devin._

 _"That's our cue to leave." Josh says grabbing Joseph off his mom._

 _"Come on kiddo." Janet said grabbing Joelynn._

.

.

 _It was now an hour into the delivery and the pain was almost unbearable but she was pass the point of getting an epidural._

 _"You're doing great honey." Joe said holding her hand._

 _"I can see a head when I say go I want you to push as hard as you can- okay?"_

 _Devin nods her head._

 _"Go!" The doctor says._

 _Devin pushes as hard as she could as she squeezes hard on Joe's hand._

 _"Come on he's almost here." The doctor says as Devin continued to push._

 _"Come on one more push!" The doctor says as Devin pushes one more time delivering her baby boy who came out crying._

 _"Do you want to cut the cord?" The doctor asked almost at an angle so he couldn't really see the baby_

 _Joe nods his head and cut`s the cord, and t_ _he doctor passes the baby back as he goes back for the second baby everything happened so quickly that Joe was barely able to see him._

 _"I can't do this." Devin said with intense pain._

 _"Yes you can." Joe said._

 _"No I can't!" Devin said shaking her head._

 _"She's almost out, its almost over."_

 _"I`m going to need you to push the same way you did with the first baby."_

 _"Ready?" The doctor asked._

 _Devin shakes her head no._

 _"Go!" The doctor says as Devin pushes until her little girl came out unlike the first baby she was very quiet, causing a_ _look of concern came across the doctor's face as Joe cut his little girls cord. That look didnt go without notice especially from Devin_

 _As she let out a sigh of exhaustion Devin asked._

 _"What's wrong?"_

 _The doctor rushed the baby around as the medical staff began to panic._

 _"What's going on?" Joe asked walking over to them._

 _"If you can please sit down." The doctor says throwing his hand up._

 _"_ _What's wrong?" Devin asked pushing her self up in the bed._

 _"I`m sorry." The doctor says._

 _"_ _What happened?!" Joe asked._

 _The doctor searched for the right words as he kept silent for a while._

 _"What's wrong with my child_ _!" Joe yelled with anger._

 _Remembering what he learned in school and worked with others in the past the Doctor says_

 _"You didn't do anything wrong, this wasn't your fault_ _."_

 _"What do you mean she didn't do anything wrong, what happened?!"_ _Joe asked._

 _Call It a mothers intuition but even before the doctor could give an answer Devin knew she wasn't going to like what he was going to say, her tears were already building in her eyes when she asked._

 _"Doctor Jonas,_ _What's wrong with my babies?"_

 _"_ _I`m sorry your daughter is dead."_

 _"What the f**k did you do to her?!" Joe yelled at a almost frighting tone._

 _"_ _Shhhe`s what?!" Devin asked chocking on her words._

 _"You lost her_ _and there`s a chance that your son will die too..."_

 _"Whhat- noo." Devin says_ _bursting into tears as Joe tried to be strong but it was easier said then done. Joe wrapps his arms around his wife as she balled in his arms, as he fought back tears._

 _"His intestines and liver are one the out side, we believe we can save him but you should know it may not work ."_


	28. Chapter 28

_Walking_ _into the room Joe looked_ _like he was in deep thought almost like he was trying to figure something out, looking up at his family with no emotions Joe says._

 _"You guys can go home now."_

 _"_ _Are they here- did she have them?" Patricia asked._

 _"Um." Joe says pausing for awhile "S_ _he did."_

 _"Thats great- why did you say it like that?" Trinity asked._

 _"She um she..."_

 _"Joe." Patricia call._

 _"_ _She didn't make it."_

 _"_ _Who didn't make it?" Rocky asked on the verge of tears trying to make sure she knew what Joe was saying._

 _Running his fingers in his hair Joe took a moment to breath._

 _"Joanne- she didn't make it."_

 _Wait- what." Rachel says pausing trying to let what Joe said register in her head. "What about Joel is he alright right?" Rachel asked._

 _Joe shakes his head and says._

 _"He's um he's - breathing through a tube and his organs, they're on the outside."_

 _Joe finished what he had to say and turned around and walked away not giving them the chance to ask anymore questions he didn't want to answer._

 _"_ _Papa why did that happen?" Joelynn asked._

 _"_ _I don't know Lynn." Sika said pulling his granddaughter in as he cried._

 _Joelynn had her head on her Papa's chest and cried with him although she didn't fully understand what was going one she knew what dead meant and she knew what babies meant._

 _"_ _So they're gone?" JoJo asked crying._

 _"_ _Yes baby they're gone." Trinity said crying._

 _._

 _._

 _It was an hour after they found out they would not be going home with what was supposed to be their new addition._

 _"Hey Dev Is there anything I can do for you?" Patricia asked as she watched Devin lay there in silence staring at the wall._

 _Still with her back towards her mother In law Devin asked._

 _"Can you bring me my baby back?"_

 _Turning towards her mother in law as she cried Devin asked._

 _"Can you do that-please, just bring my baby back?"_

 _"Devin..."_

 _"What did I do to deserve this, my life is nothing but one bad event after the other..."_

 _"There's no point in me living." Devin continues._

 _"Devin you have three beautiful healthy kids who love you and need you."_

 _"Healthy." Devin laughs to herself._

 _"I also have a baby that is dead because of me- because of something i did, and another one who`s breathing through a tube- a tube, he can`t even breathe on his own, and his organs- are outside his body."_

 _"It`s all my fault!"_

 _"Devin it`s not your fault!"_

 _"It is my fault- I`m a terrible person!"_

 _"You're not a terrible person."_

 _"Why am being punished- what did i do wrong?"_

 _"You're not being punished, and you did absolutly nothing wrong, these things just happen." Patricia says._

 _After a pause Devin says._

 _"You can go now."_

 _Looking up Patricia see`s Joe walk back into the room so she walks over to him._

 _Sighing as he pushed his hair back Joe says._

 _"Thanks mom."_

 _"Your welcome, if there is anything your dad and I could do don't hesitate to ask."_

 _"Okay."_

 _Patricia hugs her son and then kisses him on the cheek. Looking into her sons eyes she could see the hurt and pain that he tried to hide._

 _"Son."_

 _"Yes."_

 _"This wasn't you guys fault, there wasn't anything either of you could do to change the out come."_

 _Joe doesn't say a word._

 _"I`m going to go out now."_

 _"Alright." Joe replies._

 _Walking into the waiting room JoJo asked her grandma._

 _"Can I go see mama?"_

 _Shaking her head Patricia says._

 _"Your mother needs to be alone right now, maybe later."_

 _._

 _._

 _"_ _Mama?" JoJo said walking in with dried tears on her face._

 _The attachment JoJo and Joelynn had with the twins while they were in the womb was almost as close as the one Devin had, so the death of her baby sister hit her pretty hard._

 _Devin quickly whips her tears._

 _"_ _Yes baby."_

 _"_ _I`m sorry." JoJo said crying again._

 _Seeing her cry made Devin cry all over again. Seeing both Devin and JoJo crying was too much for Joe who had to turn his back from the sight. JoJo climbs into bed with her step mom and says._

 _"_ _But it's going to be okay."_

 _"_ _Of course it is." Devin said rubbing her fingers through her hair._

 _._

 _._

 _"Did she have them?!" Vanessa asked via phone._

 _"Tell Joe and Devin I'm sorry i couldn't make it but I'll be down there in a couple of days to see them."_

 _"Ness, she died the baby died and the boy is in Icu." Matt says._

 _"What happened?" Summer asked._

 _"Joanne died and Joel is in Icu."_

 _"Oh my gosh." Vanessa says ._

 _"How's Devin and Joe doing?" Summer asked._

 _"Devin been crying non stop, but Joe's not really saying how he feels."_

 _"Well you know Joe he probably feels like since he's the man he has to hold it together, especially if like you said Devin hasn't stopped crying." Vanessa says._

 _"Those were his kids too he has every right to cry." Summer says._

 _"Yeah we know that, but that doesn't mean he's going to you know Joe."_

 _"Hold on here comes Joe, I'll call you back."_

 _"Yeah yeah go." Summer says._

 _"_ _Uce." Matt called out as he seen his brother walk out of the room._

 _Without any expression Joe turns around and looks his brother in the eyes._

 _"_ _It's going to be okay man." Matt said._

 _"Will it be?" Joe asked._

 _"_ _It' will, and it's okay to cry, you're human just like the rest of us." Matt continued._

 _"_ _Tell me what I have to do to make this easier for you and I`ll do it."_

 _"_ _There isn't anything anyone could do." Joe said._

 _"_ _I know uce but I can try."_

 _Seeing Rocky and Rachel walk down the hall Joe throw`s his hand up to his brother and says._

 _"Raquel, Rachel can you go keep Dev company or something?"_

 _"Yeah of course." Rachel says._

 _._

 _._

 _"Hey Devi." Rachel says as they walked to the room._

 _Devin didn't say a word she just stares at her two best friends._

 _"How are you feeling?" Rocky asked._

 _"They said I lost her, like she was a pair of key`s or shoes, isn't that the stupidest thing you`ve ever heard?"_

 _Softly Rachel says. "It is."_

 _"They said it wasn't my fault, that I did everything right- how do they know that?"_

 _"It wasn't your fault, and you did do everything right."_

 _"Rach, I got sloppy a** drunk when I was six months pregnant, I fell down stairs then I was slammed on my stomach, which part of that was the 'right' thing?"_

 _"What`s the point?"_

 _"Point in what?"_

 _"Living."_

 _"Devin." Rocky says._

 _"I had one job, one job and that was to protect them, and I couldn't do that..."_

 _"I just want to die, I don't want to live." Devin cries._

 _Rachel lets a tear drop down her cheek and says._

 _"Devin I am soo sorry."_

 _"If you love me you will let me die."_

 _Being the hard person she is Rocky refused to cry even if she knew she wanted too, Devin probably had enough people coming in crying, so in her head the best thing for her to do at this moment was to wait until she was out of Devins sight. The red head climbs into the bed with her best friend and wraps her arms around her were she could no longer fight the tears she finally lets her tears run._

 _"Let me die I don't deserve to live!" Devin cried._

 _._

 _._

 _"I'm not a doctor nor do i play one on tv, but they knew something was wrong even before she delivered them." Joe says._

 _"What makes you think that?" Matt asked._

 _"Matt, this is not the 1800's, at the last ultrasound they should have been able to tell that there was only one heart beat, and that the organs were on the outside of the living baby, those things just don't develop over night!"_

 _"They don't but.."_

 _"I could tell they were up to something, when i cut Joel's umbilical cord the doctor had him at an angle so couldn't fully see him."_

 _"I'm going to go back in there and f**k every last one of them up, it wasnt there job to decide if they think we can handle this or not, they're not a f**king therapist."_

 _"I understand what you're saying i completely agree, but don't go in there acting crazy."_

 _"Why shouldn't i?"_

 _"Because your wife still has to stay here, if you feel like you have to say something wait until she's no longer in their care."_

 _"I`m sorry for interrupting, but a_ _re you Mr. Anoa`i?" A nurse asked._

 _"_ _Yes." Joe answered._

 _"_ _We're going to have to keep your wife a couple of nights to keep an eye out on her."_

 _"_ _Why?"_

 _"_ _A lot of woman become suicidal at times like this and we need to make sure she'll be alright before we release her."_

 _"_ _Okay so when will she be released?"_

 _"_ _It all depends on her."_

 _"She lost a lot of blood and she keeps saying she wants to die, we have to take those threats serious." The nurse continued._

 _"You should..." Joe say and then pauses for a minute._

 _"Do you think she really will attempt to kill herself?"_

 _"We had to sedate her, and we gave her the highest we could possibly give her."_

 _Joe put`s his hands on his hips and took a deep breath._

 _"When she does get out she`s going to need to be on some serious medicine, anti depressions or anxiety medicine maybe."_

 _"Anxiety medicine?"_

 _"Oh she`s going to have really bad anxiety..."_

 _"And how do you know that?"_

 _"Because alot of these cases they do."_

 _Walking off and back into his wife`s hospital room Joe watches his wife sleep._

 _._

 _._

 _Sitting on his wife`s bed next to her Joe wrapped his arms around her with his chin resting on her head._

 _With her voice almost gone Devin says._

 _" I feel like someone just sucker punched me in my stomach repeatedly and then hit me with a semi."_

 _"Do you want to hold Joel?" Joe asked_

 _"What's the point- he's going to end up dying too."_

 _"Do you want to go for a walk?"_

 _"No."_

 _"What do you want to do?"_

 _"If I say what I want to do, they`re going to put me on a stronger medicine."_

"Is this the first time you talked about this?" Dr. Carmichael asked.

Devin nods her head.

"Well thank you for opening up to me."

Devin gives her a quick smile.

"I know you want to hurry up and heal, but know that it's a process some people mour for years."

"Thats comforting."

Digging through her stuff Dr. Carmichael says.

"There's actually a support group I'd love for you two to check out."

"I thought that's why I came here." Devin said.

"It is, but i think going to these meetings along with therapy will really help you two."

"Okay, do you have adress or card?" Joe asked.

"As a matter of fact I do." Dr. Carmichael says pulling a card out.

"Thanks." Devin says.

" Okay now continue."


	29. Chapter 29

_Almost a week later..._

 _"_ _Is she okay?" Janet asked._

 _Joe shrugs and says. "She won't talk to anyone, she hasn't said a word since the day of the delivery."_

 _"_ _Wow."_

 _"_ _And our son died this morning."_

 _"_ _I'm soo sorry, if there's anything I can do."_

 _"_ _You coming to see her is doing enough." Joe says._

 _Devin pushes back her tray and tries to pull herself up when she gets a look of intense pain on her face and she says._

 _"_ _Joe."_

 _Jumping up Joe says. "Yeah?!"_

 _"_ _Can you help me get up I need to use the bathroom."_

 _"_ _Yeah sure anything." Joe says rushing over to her and slowly helping her off the bed._

 _"_ _Oh and another thing?"_

 _"_ _Yeah?"_

 _"_ _Can you stop talking about me like I can`t hear you, just because I`m not talking doesn't mean I still can`t hear you."_

 _"_ _Sorry." Joe says as he guides her to the bathroom._

 _Reaching the bathroom Joe asked._

 _"_ _Are you good or do you need more help?"_

 _Devin gives him a thumbs up and shoo`s him away._

"So who did you leave the kids with?" Ezra asked.

"Joe's waited at the house until their god parents came."

"Joe?"

"My husband."

"Right, you told me about him."

"Dad I don't want to hate you, but I don't know if we could pick up where we left off the last time I saw you I was eight." Devin said.

"Don't say that – I want to be in you, you're kids and your sibling's life, I know I wasn't there in the past and I can't make up for that but I`m here now."

Devin sighs and puts her hand on her dads hand when Joe walks up.

"Sorry I`m late." Joe said kissing his wife and sitting down next to her.

"You must be Joe."

"Yeah."

"You were at the therapy session weren't you?" Ezra asked.

"Uh- yeah."

"Pretty good looking man." Ezra said to Devin.

"Dad, how did you find me?"

"Your therapist, found me actually."

"And how did she do that, I spent years looking for you and I could never find you."

Ezra shrugs and says.

"She probably looked at your birth certificate and found my name and went from their."

"Mmm." Devin replies.

"You never told me why you`re going to therapy."

"I grew up with Beverly as a mother, and you`re wondering why I need therapy?" Devin asked pausing for moment.

"No but seriously, I`ve talked about what happened enough to day I don't feel like explain it again." Devin continues.

"No I get it."

"So how old are you now?"

"I just turned thirty."

"Wow I can`t believe I missed twenty-two birthdays."

After a long awkward silence Devin asked. "So enough about the past, where are you staying now a days?"

"Well, I`ve been traveling quite a bit, but I have a house in Napa."

"Oh so you`re not that far from Fairfield."

"No I`m not."

"So how old are your kids?"

"Ten, Five and One."

"Wow-so how did you two meet?"

"Work."

"Where`s work?" Ezra asked.

"I use to wrestle for the Wwe." Devin replied.

"Did you really?"

"I did."

"You know I use to watch a bit of wrestling back in the day."

"Yeah that`s how I started loving wrestling."

"What about you- what got you into wrestling?" Ezra asked turning to Joe.

"Wrestling's just something I`ve always grew up around." Joe replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"He comes from a long line of wrestlers." Devin says.

.

.

"So how were they?" Devin asked.

"Perfect as usual." Rachel said.

"I have to meet these perfect kids that you speak of because they're defiantly not my kids." Devin said.

"Hey Dev can I talk to you?" Joe asked walking over to the two women.

"Yeah sure."

"Shane called and said he needs me back on the road."

"For how long?"

"Not that long just for two weeks."

Devin sighs and says. "Alright-so when do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

Devin twist her mouth.

"I won't go if you don't want me to."

"No you go, I guess I'll see you in two weeks."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, I`ll just make that group meeting for when you get back."

"Thanks." Joe said pecking her on the lips.

"Alright guys, I`m heading out now." Rachel said putting her hand on Devin's shoulder.

"Oh my gosh Rach is that a ring?!" Devin asked holding her hand.

"Yes he purposed last night!"

"Wait, don`t you think it`s a little early in the relationship to be thinking about marriage?"

"It`s been eight months."

Devin lifts her eyebrow.

"Okay yes it's really early but I love him and I really couldn't imagine my life without him." Rachel says.

"Well if you`re happy then I`m happy."

 _Devin was finally home from the hospital after the whole incident. She was laying down in her room when she kept hearing loud noise, the kid`s were with their grandparents so it couldn't of been them. Getting up from her bed Devin goes to see what the noise is. Realizing it was coming from what was supposed to be the nursery for her twins Devin hesitates to open then door. Finally pushing her self to open the door she does and walks in to see Joe, Jonathon, Jon and Claudio._

 _"Can you be any louder- If you wake her up I`m going to kick your a**!" Joe says as the took apart the room._

 _With her arms folded Devin asked._

 _"What are you doing?"_

 _Looking up Joe asked._

 _"What are you doing up?"_

 _"I heard a noise."_

 _"Oh we were just taking the crib and stuff down."_

 _"Why?" Devin asked._

 _"I just though- do you want me to leave it alone?" Joe asked._

 _Devin shakes her head and turns to walk away._

 _"I told you we should of done it while she was at the hospital." Claudio says._

 _Joe looks at his friends and then turns to go after Devin._

 _Walking behind her Joe pulls her back revealing her tears that were falling from her face._

 _"I`m sorry, I can put everything back if you want, i just thought this would make this easier if I..."_

 _Devin walks away and into the room and close and locks her door. Joe walks back to the nursery._

 _"Put everything back." Joe says._

 _"What?!" Jonathon asked._

 _"She doesn't want to take it down now put everything back!"_

 _"Uce, it took us all morning to take this down now you want us to put it back?" Jon asked._

 _Joe nods his head and turns around and walks away and into his bed room._

 _"I`m sorry I didn't mean to upset you." Joe said walking up next to her._

 _"Yeah you said that-I`m going to take a shower." Devin says turning on her heels._

 _Joe sighs and walks back into the nursery._

 _"That goes over there." Joe says pointing._

 _"Does it really matter where it goes its not like..." Claudio began to say before Jon elbowed him._

 _"I`m sorry I didn't mean..."_

 _Joe throws his hand up and says._

 _"I know what you meant."_

 _._

 _._

 _Walking back to his room Joe noticed that their door was locked._

 _"Devin the door is locked."_

 _"Devin?" Joe called when she doesn't reply._

 _With the state of mind she had been in since the delivery Joe quickly feared the worst. Kicking the door in Joe witnessed the first of many of Devin anxiety attacks._

 _Running over to her Joe asked._

 _"Dev what`s wrong?"_

 _Putting his hand around her arm attempting to lift her to the bed Devin pushes his hands away and says._

 _"Don`t-touch-me." As she hyperventilated._

Walking into the nursery Devin just stood there looking around when she decides to walk over to the crib. Looking inside the crib and imagining what could have been Devin sighs as she grabs the small yellow blanket and folds it then reaches over the two cribs and takes down the names hanging on the walls beside the two cribs. Turning around to put them Devin bumps into something hard nearly knocking her off her feet.

"Joe you scared me." Devin said catching her fall.

"Sorry about that."

Devin flashes him a quick smile.

Grabbing what was in her hand Joe asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Just taking things down." Devin replied.

"Are you ready to take things down?"

"Of course not, but this is just something I have to do."

"Something we have to do." Joe corrected.

Taking the stuff back out of his hand Devin walks past him and pulled out a box and said.

"No I said it right the first time- you have to get up early tomorrow."

"It doesn't matter if you need my help then I`m here."

"I`m okay."

Lifting her chin Joe pecks her on her lip`s and then say.

"Well good night, don't take too long." and turns to walk out.

Grabbing a few more stuff Devin put`s it in the box and head`s out of the room.

A/n: Like always I'd like to thank you for reading this chapter and for all the reviews!


	30. Chapter 30

Rushing out of the bathroom Joe quickly grabs his bags and head towards the door when he looks back at his sleeping wife and walks back to her and kisses her on her fore head.

Waking up with a smile Devin says.

"I`ll see you when you get back."

Pecking her on her lips Joe says

"I love you!"

"I love you too!" Devin says turning over.

leaving their room Joe stops by each of his kid`s room to kiss each good bye.

"Daddy are you leaving already?" Joelynn asked.

"I am, but I'll be back in two weeks you wont even notice I`m gone."

"I`m going to miss you daddy."

"I`m going to miss you more then you`ll ever know."

"Then why don't you just stay?"

Joe smiles and says.

"I have to pumpkin."

"Alright."

"Be good for mommy okay?"

"Okay."

Joe gives her another kiss and leaves for the airport.

.

.

Sitting in the nursery Devin`s taking apart the crib when her two best friends walk up behind her completely scaring her and causing her to drop part of the crib on her finger.

"S**t- how did you get in here?" Devin asked as she held her finger to her mouth.

"JoJo let us in." Rocky replied.

"What made you want to take every thing down?" Rachel asked looking around noticing everything was down except the two cribs.

"I`m not entirely sure."

"Well sometime we do stuff and don't know why."

Walking into the nursery Joelynn says.

"Mommy, I miss daddy already..."

"So do I, but when he lands and get settle in we can call him." Devin says.

"And I`m bored!"

"AND YOUR BORED?" Devin said putting one of her hands on her cheek.

"Mooom!"

"How about you let me finish what I`m doing and I`ll take you three somewhere fun."

"Can Auntie Rocky and Auntie Rachel come too?" Joelynn asked.

"Mmm- no I`m joking of course the can come with us."

"YAY- I`ll go get dressed!" Joelynn said running off.

Just then her phone began to ring.

"Hello Devin?"

"Yes." Devin says answering the phone.

"How are you?" Bree asked.

"Better."

"I`m sorry that I`ve been missing your calls, I can fly be out there by four if you like."

"No, I`m good I don`t need you."

"You're not mad at me are you?" Bree asked.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Devin asked.

"Because I`ve been- I don't know, I love you Dev."

"I love you too Aubree, but I have to go." Devin says hanging up.

"Who was that?" Rocky asked.

"Bree."

"Mmmm."

"Rocky don`t start!"

"What all of a sudden she`s not 'busy'?"

"Rocky it`s fine."

"Is it?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah no hard feeling, I mean it hurt at first but you kind of learn who`s really in your corner when you`re down you know?"

"Yeah and apparently it isn't her aka ' your favorite cousin'." Rachel says doing air quotes.

.

.

Sitting at the table with her two best friends as her two oldest ran around in chuck E cheese as Joseph slept in his god mom's arms.

"So when will Joe be home?" Rocky asked.

"In about two weeks."

"Ohh thats..."

Scooting over fast with her hand over her mouth Devin starts to throw up.

"Are you okay ma'am? An employee asked.

"I'm soo sorry, I'll clean it up." Devin says reaching for the mop.

" No i got it."

"I'm sorry!"

"It's fine really."

"What was that?" Rachel asked.

"I took my medicine without eating and it made me sick."

"That's why you've been so chill." Rocky says.

"Should we be leaving soon?" Rachel asked.

"No we're good, I took a nap earlier."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

.

.

On their way home they stopped at a drug store, Rocky had to get a few things. Rachel stayed in the car with the sleeping kids while Devin went in with Rocky.

Picking up a pregnancy test Rocky asked.

"You sure you don't need one of these?"

"Stop it Kel, we're not trying to have anymore any time soon."

"Just because you're not trying doesn't mean you can't be." Rocky says waving the test then tossing it in the basket.

Picking up the test Devin puts it back on the shelf and says.

"I told you it was a reaction from not eating before taking my medicine."

"I'm just saying you weren't trying to have Lynn or the twins either."

"Can you get what you're getting so we can leave?"

"Yeah yeah."

.

.

Pacing back and forth in the bathroom Devin suddenly stops. With a hand full of stuff she reaches on the top shelf and accidently knocks a bunch of things over. Squatting down to pick up the stuff Devin spots the last thing she wanted to see, especially right about now.

"Rocky, Rachel can you come here?" Devin asked.

"I`d rather wait until you come out of the bathroom." Rocky said.

"No come here!" Devin yelled.

Rocky and Rachel rolled their eyes and walked inside the bathroom. Devin quickly turns around and shows them.

"Oh my gosh!" Rachel said as Rocky stood there with her mouth agape.


	31. Chapter 31

Two weeks later...

"What's wrong?" Joe asked glancing down.

Shaking her head Devin said.

" Nothing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, i just have alot on my mind."

" Anything you want to talk about?"

"Not right now i don't."

"Okay." Joe says placing his hand on hers.

.

.

"Good morning." Dr. Carmichael says as the couple walked into the office.

"Good morning." Devin says.

"Did you go to the support group yet?"

"No not yet but we will later on today." Joe says.

"So how are you feeling as of lately?"

"Um." Devin sways her head back and forth. "I`m back on my anxiety medicine so I`m doing a lot better."

"How does the medicine make you feel?"

"Very calm, relaxed I`m a little less fragile."

"That`s good, well I have an exercise, for both of you." Dr. Carmichael says.

"Okay."

"I want you to write a letter to your deceased babies then I want you to read it and then move on."

"But…" Devin began to say.

"Moving on and allowing them to rest in peace doesn't mean you love them any less it just means you love them enough to let them have peace…."

"There`s this old story I heard and it goes like this."

"There was a group of kids in heaven and every night they would happily take a walk with God and their lights, all except one child one day one of her friends asked why she never went with them and the little girl says every time my light shines my mom`s tears put them out."

Neither Joe nor Devin said a word they didn't even exchange glares they just took in what she had said.

"I know you want to be the best mom you can to your three living kids but you can`t, not while you`re too busy focusing on the death of their siblings, yeah it`s going to be hard but the time you spend focused on your babies death you`re taking way from your other kids and that`s not fair to them."

"Okay." Devin says putting her hand out.

Placing the pen and paper in her hand, she then turned to Joe who much to her surprise was a little more hesitant then Devin.

 _To my two precious babies_

 _When I found out I was pregnant with you I was really happy, although you came at a surprise I couldn't wait to hold you in my arms, give you a bath, comb your hair, kiss your little toes and wake up in the middle of the night even though I was extremely tired, I couldn't wait for that bounding moments where it was just me and the two of you, or driving you two to preschool for the first or last time or forcing you to talk to your dad on face time, all of which will never happened. I remember the first time I felt you two kick, you guys moved around a lot your daddy swore you two were wrestling in there, although it sounded silly but based on who your family is and just because wrestling ran deep in your blood, I believed you were too, because that`s what it felt like, your daddy and I were so sure you guys were going to become wrestlers just like we were, but I guess will never know. I`m writing this letter not so I can forget about you because I never will, but as a way of finally letting you two rest in peace, I know it`s going to be hard but I gotta let you guys go so that you can finally rest In peace for you for daddy for me and your oldest brother who`s too young to even understand and your other sisters who loves you just as hard as I do, I know this isn't good bye but a see you later._

Joe puts his face in his hands and for the first time he breaks, Devin puts her hand on his leg as a form of comfort.

 _Dear Princess and Champ_

 _I am so sorry that I couldn't protect you, that I couldn't save you, that I failed as your father, but I can`t keep beating myself up about it. Words cannot even come close to how much I love you two, I remember the first time I felt you kick in your mommy`s tummy, you would of sworn I was a first time parent and not that this was my fourth and fifth time around, I couldn't wait to hold your little hands and to sneak you stuff that mommy said you couldn't have or having a guy's day with my two boy`s or having a daddy daughter date with my three girls. When they let us hold your lifeless bodies I didn't want to let go even though I physically let you two go I really didn't let you go, but now I have to because I know you`re in good care and I have to go back to being a good dad to all of my kids._

Devin quickly got up and wrapped her arms around her husbands broad shoulders this time his face being in her chest. Devin knew there was a matter of time before he broke down, when she asked him how he felt about all of this in the past and he told her he was fine she knew it was a lie she could see it in his eyes. But she knew how important it was to him for him to be strong for her and their family so she just let him have that. But just like she let him have that moment she let him have this one she let him finally let out his pain as he wept in her arms.

"This whole time i thought it was Devin who was blaming her self for the incident- but it was really you who blamed their self for it." Dr. Carmichael says.

"There are so many bad people in this world who shouldn't be allowed to have kids and they have perfectly healthy babies, and we're good people and our's died, they weren't supposed to die, the doctor checked on them and said they were okay, they weren't supposed to die." Joe cried.

 _._

 _._

Standing in front of the gravesite`s of their twins Devin and Joe sat down and placed new flowers down. And told them that they would always love them no matter what.

"Joe?" Devin said walking back.

"Yeah hun?"

"We have to go before we`re late."

Turning around and pecking her on the lips Joe grabs her hand and walks away.

.

.

"I just want to thank each and every one of you for helping me get through everything without your support I don't think I would have made it." A tall thin woman says.

"Joe I have something to tell you."

"Can it wait, it's kind of rude to talk while they're talking." Joe said.

 _Picking up a pregnancy test Rocky asked._

 _"You sure you don't need one of these?"_

 _"Stop it Kel, we're not trying to have anymore any time soon."_

 _"Just because you're not trying doesn't mean you can't be." Rocky says waving the test then tossing it in the basket._

 _Picking up the test Devin puts it back on the shelf and says._

 _"I told you it was a reaction from not eating before taking my medicine."_

 _"I'm just saying you weren't trying to have Lynn or the twins either."_

 _"Can you get what you're getting so we can leave?"_

 _"Yeah yeah."_

 _Watching her friend turn the corner Devin looks back at the pregnancy test and takes a deep breath, then grabs it and follow`s behind her best friend._

 _._

 _._

 _Pacing back and forth in the bathroom Devin suddenly stops. With a hand full of stuff she reaches on the top shelf and accidently knocks a bunch of things over and drops her pregnancy test.. Squatting down to pick up the stuff Devin looks up and spots the last thing she wanted to see, especially right about now._

 _"Rocky, Rachel can you come here?" Devin asked._

 _"I`d rather wait until you come out of the bathroom." Rocky said._

 _"No come here!" Devin yelled._

 _Rocky and Rachel rolled their eyes and walked inside the bathroom. Devin quickly turns around and lifts up her pregnancy test._

 _"Oh my gosh!" Rachel said as Rocky stood there with her mouth agape._

 _"Okay okay why are we acting like this is a terminal illness?" Rocky asked._

 _After a pause Devin began to say_." _I`m still mourning the death of my other children, I can`t be..."_

 _._

 _._

"I`m pregnant." Devin said.

Joe's head snapped at Devin, quickly turning her head back to pay attention to the speaker Devin grabs for Joe`s hand who gladly laced his fingers with hers. Paying attention to the speaker Devin could hear Joe take a deep breath.

.

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A:N/ I just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for reading my story thank you for favoring and following it and a bigger thank you for reviewing because not only is it fun to read what you think about it, but I always found my self looking forward to reading it, when I`d write a chapter I`d think I can`t wait to see what Wolfgirl2013, or Ad`s611 or CtinaIsFashion thinks about this chapter so in a nutshell I really do appreciate the review`s I honestly do. Any who I`m rambling now so I just thought I`d let you know there will be a fourth story (most likely the last...key word most likely lol) if number three didn't have you tilting your head and scratching it and going 'wait what.' and questioning everything you thought you knew about this story then the next one definitely will! So keep an eye out for that one!


	32. Chapter 32

A walk to remember 4 is now up! Go check it out if you haven't already.


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